Bad Metaphors and Cliches, and Other Writing Blunders

enneamom

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 5:23 am

Can we do a thread for all the poor English usages we come across? Some of them can be pretty funny.

I'll start. I just read this today in a frum novel (I won't say which one, for obvious reasons):

"Time was sucked into a vacuum"

Someone has been spending too much time cleaning their carpets! LOL

The author was probably trying to say something like "time stood still, as though she were in a vacuum."

(The rest of the sentence goes "and all those around her ceased to exist." Fun, no? They must have gotten sucked into the vacuum, too!)

PinkFridge

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 8:12 am

There's a banner hanging in front of a house - Congratulations [graduate's name]. Were so proud of you!

Every time I pass it I think, wow, what did she do that they're no longer proud?

Happy 2B

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 1:07 pm

OK you asked for it Enneamom! thanx for the platform!

In Avraham Frieds new CD keep climbing....

The lyrics go:

"Keep climbing, Don't let nothing stand in your way!"

I keep wondering how nothing can get in your way!! It's so hard for me to enjoy this uplifting song when he keeps telling me not to let nothing get in my way! It's not nothing getting in my way! It's everything getting in my way!!!!

Does he have poetic license?? Does this drive anyone else insane? or is it just me who's the insane one?

seeker

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 1:51 pm

Well, this is not a specific incident, but I see "illicit" and "elicit" swapped SO often in frum publications that when I recently read one used correctly, I did a double take. I mean, my eyes started to tell me "Wait, something's not right" and then I realized that what wasn't right was that it WAS right, for once! Because I'm THAT used to "tsk tsk"ing at the constant misuses.

Except most of the time this stuff isn't even funny. To me, mistakes are just sad and painful, unless they change the meaning in a particularly ironic way.

Shopmiami49

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 2:32 pm

All the Chinese instructions translated into English...lol

Take care to not sever the package. Place in mouth not. Ingest can lead to cause choke and death. Beware!

Shuly

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 3:38 pm

Shopmiami49 wrote:

Hashemlovesme wrote:

Sam Bagel's here in E"Y.

How did I not ever notice that?? THat is SO funny!!

It actually says Sam Bagel's Bakery on the wall in the store.
What a coincidence that a guy named Sam Bagel decided to open a bagel bakery! Wink

iluvy

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 4:41 pm

seeker wrote:

Another thing frum publications ALWAYS do: "free reign" instead of "free rein." I see where they're coming from, but it's just wrong!

enneamom

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 5:13 pm

Shopmiami49 wrote:

All the Chinese instructions translated into English...lol

Take care to not sever the package. Place in mouth not. Ingest can lead to cause choke and death. Beware!

I know, those Chinese instructions crack me up. Two examples come to mind:

On a box of oil paints: "Particularly parepared (sic) to ensure from yellowish."

On the package of a regular kitchen apron, a random sentence written on the side: "Close relations between family members." HUH?? LOL

enneamom

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 5:16 pm

seeker wrote:

I know, I have that with "flaunt" and "flout". I so often see people "flaunting" the rules in magazine articles (do they go around wearing a sandwich board with the rules listed on it?) that when they actually write "she flouted the rules" I feel like it's a mistake!

chani8

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 5:33 pm

This thread is hilarious.

But just FYI, not everyone is as educated as you all are. Wink

(flouting of grammar intended to elicit Rolling Eyes

.)

And iluvy, I think they really mean free reign. I think it's aka Daas Torah. Just kidding. Bad joke. Cool

Mama Bear

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 7:19 pm

My six year old who knows about 10 words of english came home on Motzei Shabbos, worried about the power outages in my neighborhood - he hopes our house won't be infected by the power outage.

Haaaa!!!

(affected, that is)

enneamom

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 7:22 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Cute!

If we're discussing verbal mistakes too... I love when people say they were getting such-and-such magazine/newspaper but their "prescription" ran out.

Simple1

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 9:42 pm

I got this in an office letter or memo a while ago, but I think it's pretty common. I don't remember word for word, but something like this: "Please contact Mrs. X or myself if you have any questions..."

iluvy

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 10:17 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

"my in-laws gave a present to my dh and I."

GAAHH!

Barack Obama: "It means so much to Michelle and I."

the world's best mom

Sun, Jun 24 2012, 11:02 pm

My 7 year old is great at using non-existant words. Like last week, she said, "It was like the country there, because it was very treezy." (There were a lot of trees.)

She also eats cobbage corn (corn on the cob).