I LOVE covering my hair! (not for the reason you think)

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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels

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ewa-jo

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:02 am

I hear so many women on imamother complain about hair-covering that I just felt a need to post about why I LOVE covering my hair. Of course there is the aspect of performing a mitzvah but that's not what I want to talk about. I will let someone else start a thread about the beauty of performing mitzvos.

IMO, hair-covering for many married women is a huge chesed. You read it right.

I had lovely hair before I was married, but right now, I am much happier hiding it under a tichel or hat. Why???? Because it looks awful!

I have three small children.... so I see a lot of mommies around (at the park, at the store, dropping kids at daycare) and most secular women I see just plop their hair in a bun or ponytail!!!! It doesn't look awfully tragically bad, but it certainly doesn't look good or stylish.

Again, I should emphasize that I try to look nice... I always wear a little makeup and I try to pick out nice clothes, even though I have three little kids to feed and dress and not much time in the mornings. But yeah, I am happy that "doing my hair" takes 2 seconds. I have some cute hats and also some fancy French silk scarves that I wear as tichels and when I want to wear a sheitel, I can... but it's usually not my look at 8am pushing two toddlers in a stroller.

When I was single, I was happy to color my hair (to cover greys) and make it pretty with highlights, but it's a look that needs maintenance! A woman with some grey hairs looks like a woman with grey hairs, but a woman who dyes her hair to cover greys.... and then has a few inches of un-dyed roots showing looks awful!!! I dunno, maybe she doesn't have time to see the hairdresser or spare cash, but as for me, I am happy to let my prematurely-grey hair grow out and not to worry about dyeing it. (don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that all grey-haired women should dye their hair... I'm more talking about younger women who got grey hair early and don't want to look like bubbies before they are actually bubbies)

So yeah, I can't be the only one who feels this way.

Maybe I will feel differently when I no longer have little toddlers who need my attention all the time.. but at the moment, I would much rather wear a hat or snood or tichel and look like a frummy than have my hair in a ponytail 24/7.

Smile

agreer

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:25 am

I love covering my hair because it is curly, and not the good kind... It is unruly, kinky, and super frizzy. I straightened it as a single girl, which took HOURS, even though I had it relaxed for $300 about 4x/year. I wake up and look in the mirror and say "yikes!" in the morning because even tho I sleep in a tichel and ponytail holder, my hair always manages to come out and stand up! I am soooooo happy I can cover it in a minute with a beautiful, straight wig.

LisaS

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:29 am

I gave up the perk of wearing a sheitel by marrying a sfardi. But I still have the perk of never getting lice from the kids.

Tablepoetry

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:35 am

I'm glad that you are all happy covering your hair.
However, many of us also think all those women in the park look good with simple ponytails or their natural hair just out. It isn't a bad look.

Also, even if I covered my hair, I wouldn't neglect it.

naturalmom5

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:37 am

I'm happy to cover my hair because my husband drives me to pull out all my own hair

baba

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:48 am

LisaS wrote:

I gave up the perk of wearing a sheitel by marrying a sfardi. But I still have the perk of never getting lice from the kids.

Some how I even missed that perk. I still got lice once after I was married.

rosey

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 4:20 am

I'm right with you Ewa-Jo. I'm not so into to hair and make up, and even as a single person had a very simple style for hair, clothes etc. But as one might expect in that case, I have no problem covering my hair. We all have things we struggle with, but this one doesn't happen to be mine....

fiddle

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 4:27 am

I love covering my hair, bc im losing it all. and im not losing it because I cover.
if I had nice hair I wouldn't think it would be easier to throw a thing on top of my head and call it a day. way easier to throw it in a bun then be adjusting wraps or wearing uncomfortable wigs and such.

but I guess we're all glad for you that you love to cover your hair. but why neglect your hair because you cover it?

rosey

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 5:21 am

what does neglect have to do with ewa-jo's description? what beyond washing, and maybe conditioner is required. I'm not sure I understand why that word is being used in this discussion. it sounds like people aren't taking well to this thread. I thought it was a good way to put a positive spin on something I hear people have a lot of difficulties with. anyway, hope everyone has a nice day. LOL

ewa-jo

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 7:49 am

My hair is neglected because I don't color it anymore... I seriously have so many grey hairs, it would look quite bad if I went out in public looking like this.

I don't see the point in coloring my hair if no one but DH sees it.

What I did, because I don't color it (and ruin it with dyes, blow-dryers and flat-irons) is that I grew it out and was able to donate it.

But yeah, like I said... my hair looks bad.

imaima

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 7:54 am

I'm with you. You can never have a bad hair day, and if you have more than 1 wig you can have no bad wig days either.

superjew

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 8:01 am

So ewa-jo if you wouldn't neglect your hair, you wouldn't love covering it anymore I suppose?
I like to take care of my hair, for me. I don't cover it at home so it makes me feel good to look good & have nice hair. And I guess that makes it harder to 'want' to cover it.
Should I now neglect it to make this mitzvah easier? :p jk

chocolate chips

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 11:09 am

My unmarried sisters and friends always hate me when they are getting ready to go out 1hour before and I am chilling until 5 minutes before, plop on a wig or hat and march out the door

mwahahahha I love it LOL

bananasplit

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 11:17 am

Just wondering..do you cut your own hair? I sometimes do even though it doesnt come out even but my hair is really curly so its not very noticeable.

TranquilityAndPeace

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 11:23 am

I hear you... but would you rather treat every day like Purim and wear a mask, so that you don't need to bother with makeup? Would you rather that all 24 hours be nighttime, as it is at the North Pole for 6 months, so that you don't need to get out of comfortable pajamas?

To me, taking care of my hair to look nice was a worthwhile activity. I look older and less natural in a wig, even a very good one. I'm glad to be married and keep this mitzvah, but I cannot say that I love covering my hair just because it saves me a few minutes.

lucinda

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 11:26 am

I never styled my hair. and now I still wash it (presume you do too) and so the extra effort is arranging the head scarf so it doesn't fall off - so much time nowadays than just making sure my hair (which was never frizzy or anythng) is looking nice with maybe one or two clips.

now, from stress from my DH, my hair is falling out. who knows how the head scarf has contributed?

zaq

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 2:25 pm

ewa-jo wrote:

I don't see the point in coloring my hair if no one but DH sees it.

Where are all the militant amothers shocked and horrified and giving mussar about what kind of message are you sending when you care more about how you look to outsiders than how you look to your dh and you should davka make more of an effort to look your best for dh blablabla?

Not saying I think this way, just surprised that none of the "get dressed up for your dh even if you're just going to be flicking chickens" camp has piped up yet.

me, I color my hair for myself and nobody else. Briefly tried going au naturel one time and never again. If I lived on a desert island I'd stain my hair with berry juice or something, unless there were no mirrors on the island and I could live in ignorant bliss, never knowing how I look.

imasinger

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 2:48 pm

I think I look good in hats.

And at my age, those who cover seem to look younger than those who don't.

Of course, those who don't are mostly dying their hair anyway. And some of those who do.

ewa-jo

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:25 pm

zaq wrote:

ewa-jo wrote:

I don't see the point in coloring my hair if no one but DH sees it.

Have you read my other threads Zaq????

(just kidding)

If you read all my posts, you would know that a few months ago, I shaved my head because I had to cut it really short so I could donate it and DH thought it looked wonderful!!!!! I am growing it out a bit now, but DH thought I should shave it again this week (long story.... 3 little kids with lice, which means that I got lice) but I didn't do it because it was so cold outside.

I put on makeup every day in the morning and try to wear something nice... whether that's for DH or for the outside world, I don't know. If you ever saw me walking around in a robe and snood... well, that would be a sign that I just gave birth to quadruplets or something.

zaq

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 3:44 pm

Actually, I usually respond to the post and not to the poster, and most of the time I don't even notice who the poster is unless the post is in some way unusual (good, bad, funny, outrageous, helpful, unintelligible...)

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