I LOVE covering my hair! (not for the reason you think)

Fox

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 12:50 pm

I think it often boils down to an issue of whether one has "good" hair or not. People who have naturally or almost-naturally beautiful hair often associate themselves with their hair in a very emotional way. People whose hair requires hours of work and tons of products just to look so-so are often thrilled to cover it.

Personally, I'm thrilled to cover my hair. I have thin, baby-fine hair that doesn't hold a semblance of a style for longer than five minutes.

r_ch

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 1:03 pm

I clicked a like! Completely agree with you.
They call it, to age with dignity, meaning you don't hide anything time brings along. They don't like our sheitels, they seem to them too artificial or too bushy and unnatural in every way. I think there's something in the eye of a frum woman, to see it the way we see it. IMHO to show too much of yourself, be it hair or shoulders, is too personal and thus vulnerable.

SacN

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 1:07 pm

Quote:

I 100% agree with this. I have beautiful unique curly hair that I love. It's very hard for me to cover it, as I always felt that my hair was a large representation of my personality. The "me" in the mirror is someone I don't recognize as well in a sheitle (or tichel, hat or snood)--and I've been wearing them for a few years now. I did have to put in effort to keep my hair looking nice, but I would rather still be doing that.

I do think that this is somewhat the point though---in getting married who I am changed. I am now my husbands wife--something special that I never regret. I represent that change (both to myself and to the world) by covering my hair, a unique part of my persona that is now private.

I do jokingly beg my DH to let me go out with my hair down and curly (Which I'd never ever actually do). It looks so good...

wife2

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 2:04 pm

bananasplit wrote:

Just wondering..do you cut your own hair? I sometimes do even though it doesnt come out even but my hair is really curly so its not very noticeable.

dh cuts my hair - he actually does a very good job. I used to have very long hair before I got married. then I never wanted to cut it but it was so hard to deal with and cover so much of it. I got it cut to a few inches past my shoulders which was very sad for me. I still had trouble with it and it would get knotty from being covered, so dh cut it up to my shoulders. it is hard for me since I enjoy having long hair but it makes my life a lot simpler.

rachel91

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 2:21 pm

I had very good, straight hair as a girl and never colored it, sometimes I miss it alot, mostly when I look into the mirror and see how good I would be able to look Crying

, I cover my hair with a wig and here usually women don't go out without a wig so you'll have to visit the sheitelmacher quite often and you can't just change the way you want it to look every day and it just doesn't look as natural as hair. And if you want a new look and a natural one you have to buy a new wig and so on.. so I think hair is easier and nicer

black sheep

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 2:25 pm

ewa-jo, you are cute. I understand what you are talking about, I also had three young little ones at one point, and my hair looking good was the last thing on my mind! I was very grateful that all that was expected of me in terms of dressing up was to throw something on my head to cover my hair. fast forward a bunch of years, I'm still busy, but I'm not an exhausted mess, and I really miss looking youthful and sporty in a cute sweatshirt and pony (my single days go to look.) I am happy to be married and therefore required to cover my hair, but I'm not happy about the covering my hair part. but I resolved myself to it. what I do is I take care of my hair as if I wasn't covering it, so that I like what I see when I take off my wig/tichel at night and look in the mirror. I use good hair products, get real haircuts (there was a while I was cutting it myself and dh would "fix" it after my attempts.) and I grew it out, its long now, and I love how it looks. it feels better knowing that at least under the tichel/wig, I still look youthful and sporty. one day, you will have the energy to care about your hair again, so for now just condition and brush it properly to keep it healthy for when that day comes. toddlers don't stay toddlers forever.

saw50st8

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 4:39 pm

Fox wrote:

My hair is frizzy and curly and a wreck 99.99% of the time. I became an engineer so that I don't have to look good on the job Wink

My hair is just as neglected now as it was when I was single.

33055

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 5:14 pm

superjew wrote:

So ewa-jo if you wouldn't neglect your hair, you wouldn't love covering it anymore I suppose?
I like to take care of my hair, for me. I don't cover it at home so it makes me feel good to look good & have nice hair. And I guess that makes it harder to 'want' to cover it.
Should I now neglect it to make this mitzvah easier? :p jk

I totally agree with you. I love having a great head of hair. When people say no one's hair looks as good as some of these sheitals, I know mine does. I also know mine doesn't when people who shave will say how bad hair looks under a sheital. I love at the end of the day brushing out my locks. I feel so Victorian.

I keep my hair colored and conditioned.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 5:28 pm

actually, my hair looks better now than it did before I got married. the tichels flatten down my flyaway frizzes, and I started cutting my own hair. shockingly, I cut my hair better than those professionals who used to charge me $45-$60 per haircut. I was never happy leaving a salon. I grew my hair out because it works better with tichels that way, and I feel much more myself. I keep saying I'm going to dye my hair purple because I can, but I'm worried that if I bleach it my hair will be damaged. so I've put that off for the foreseeable future. it's fun to think about, though. maybe I'll do it when my hair is mostly gray.

Purple Hug Bunny

Wed, Jan 16 2013, 8:46 pm

I'd actually love to uncover my hair. I don't shave anymore but my hair falls out in clumps. due to PCOS.
I wore a wig when I was 17 before I even got married because I barely had any hair and looked really odd and ugly.

ruti13

Sun, Jan 20 2013, 4:42 pm

I still take care of my hair because I like it to look good for my dh... and I find that it's actually healthier now that I cover it! (I need to wash it less, no harsh stylers, heat or any of that anymore!)

And I also love covering my hair. I don't wear sheitels but I love wearing gorgeous tichels wrapped creatively. I feel like a queen putting on her crown when I tie my scarves!

Factory Girl

Mon, Jan 21 2013, 2:11 pm

what can I say
sometimes I lovee covering my hair, other times, I find it VERY difficult (those usually are the times were I am running like crazy from work, or bc of the kids wearing a hat/scarf and I c these fancy girls walking around all made up with their fansy wigs looking all dolled up and I think , g-d I wish I didnt have to cover my hair!)
Crying

LoulouTzion

Thu, Feb 28 2013, 8:18 pm

So I also have unique curly hair that I love and everyone used to identify me as 'the girl with long curls' but now that I started covering it I decided to place that image with 'the girl with the pretty mitpachats' at first it was prob ore hard and time consuming mitzvah but knowing myself I knew I needed to be proud of what I do and find originality and beauty in the mitzvah. Its been almost a month and half since I covered it and I'm really getting used to it. Ofcourse theres days I wear a tichel or hat but I dont look old or diff then myself and my hair still looks beautiful.