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Forum
-> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections
-> The Imamother Writing Club
amother
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 Thu, Jun 20 2013, 5:33 pm
I thought
that when you left
the pain would be never-ending
I thought
my tears would overwhelm me
that I would choke on my grief
Instead
of pain, there was a nothingness
where you used to be
Instead
of tears, there was a sudden silence
as if you had been swallowed by the earth
They say
that those we love are never truly gone
that they are with us always
They say
that somewhere in the desert of my heart
your voice can still be heard
calling out
calling me to you
I wouldn’t know
I have already walked on
****
I like the idea of this poem, but how can I make it better?
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yogabird
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Thu, Jun 20 2013, 5:44 pm
this stuff is good.
and I don't say that very often.
OP, I hope you find comfort.
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the world's best mom
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Thu, Jun 20 2013, 8:49 pm
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Great poem. Why do you think you need to make it better?
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chani8
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Fri, Jun 21 2013, 5:34 am
Is this a poem about divorce or death? (I'm not good understanding poems).
If it's about death, then I'd change the word in the first paragraph, "left".
If it's about divorce, then what I understand is that contrary to what you expected (and how much you thought you loved him and couldn't live without him) you're already over him, you're already moving on.
Please correct me if I don't get this.
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greenfire
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Mon, Jul 08 2013, 7:31 pm
divorce is a death of a marriage ...
your poem is perfect an art need not be changed
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chani8
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Tue, Jul 09 2013, 9:40 am
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thanks greenfire, well put.
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