when you go to the park ...

greenfire

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 6:24 pm

do you go to the park to play with your kids ... or do you get caught up in schmoozing with the adults ...

while I might enjoy a conversation or two - I always had more FUN being involved with my kiddies having a good time ...

it disturbs me when I see adults ignoring their kids - like it's a free break ... they still need supervision [even if you're not an overgrown kid like me]

mummiedearest

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 6:37 pm

social time. for them and me. I have them all day (in the summer, anyway) and I appreciate not having to entertain them. my kids are pros at keeping themselves entertained. I do keep an eye on them, and I even go down slides with them when they want me to (I've never outgrown slides Smile

), but I see nothing wrong with saying hi to a friend in the park and sitting down for a shmooze while checking on the kids at reasonable intervals. oh, and I should mention that if I'm doing this, it means dh is running after the toddler. my other kids are old enough to play by themselves without constant supervision.

Barbara

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 6:45 pm

greenfire wrote:

Ages and stages.

At age 3, I was playing with DS, or right near him. He was a bit shy, so I had to integrate him into play by playing with other kids myself, then leaving them room once they began playing.

But as he matured, and developed his own friendships, it became less appropriate to be only a step away.

By time he was 8 or 9 and playing basketball or baseball with his friends, I was watching from a bench (or pitching, if necessary). By time he was 11, I was a little further away, but could still see him and check up on him.

I have a friend who accused me of being a bad mother because when DS was 14, I allowed him to walk to the park (which is across the street) with his friends to play ball. She would never allow that. Well, that's not mothering, its smothering.

So its all a balance, based on your kids' ages and needs.

(But don't get me started on the parents who don't pay attention to their kids at the pool.)

chocolate chips

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 7:17 pm

I don't really socialize and even if I do I always have my eye on him. If I don't spot him for a second I run find him.

He actually prefers to be by himself running from toy to toy, sometimes I go with him but I get so exhausted in the heat and carrying him up the slides when he gets lazy, I just let him enjoy it by himself.

shev143

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 7:27 pm

I don't really know the other people at the parks so I am not socializing. Usually I push baby on swings and other kids go off running and doing their own thing - I do keep an eye on them. Last year before baby - I would let them do their own thing while I sat on a bench watching. - It was a needed break for me to just sit down and they got to run.

MaBelleVie

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 11:14 pm

My kids are still young and need constant supervision, which means following them everywhere, so socializing can be tricky. If my kids are digging in the dirt next to me, they're happy enough together, and I can get some chatting in.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 12:48 am

greenfire, the age of th child(ren) makes a big difference. My daughter is 5. She is self sufficient in the park, maybe except for a push on the swing every now and then. Sometimes I sit and shmooze with the other parents there but I am also always keeping an eye open for what my daughter is up to.
When she was younger and needed my help, I was always running around with her in the park.

Age makes the difference.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 12:53 am

DD is an only child. When we're at the park she does NOT want me to play with her, she wants to go find some new friends to socialize with. She's been that way since she was a toddler, and I think it's healthy. I mean, she sees me every day!

She knows that I'm right there if she needs me, and I always have at least one eye on her. I may shmooze a bit, or I might bring a book, but I'm always glancing in her direction.

bamamama

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 1:16 am

I'm a total slacker. I monitor for safety, generally from the nearest bench. If I'm there with friends, you better believe I'm chatting with them while watching. I admit to occasionally texting with DH or checking email, so I'm the mom irritating aleza. Wink

I homeschool and have my kids all day everyday so the park is where we have spaces in our togetherness. Cheers

Last edited by bamamama on Tue, Aug 13 2013, 1:20 am; edited 1 time in total

bamamama

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 1:20 am

amother wrote:

aleza wrote:

Drives me a little nuts when I see moms with their noses in their screens (iphones, ipads, etc) and ignoring their kids.

That's me.

Bad amother.

Wanna share my candy bar? I'll save the seat next to me for you.

imaima

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 6:32 am

bamamama wrote:

amother wrote:

aleza wrote:

Drives me a little nuts when I see moms with their noses in their screens (iphones, ipads, etc) and ignoring their kids.

That's me.

Bad amother.

Wanna share my candy bar? I'll save the seat next to me for you.

So you could text each other? Smile

I asked myself that question recently - why do I go to the park? Basically because I want to talk to my friends. I don't stand up from the bench often because then I can't talk to them. My kids end up occupying themselves with sand toys or climbing trees and sliding on the slide. I don't have them do activities that need my involvement.
Having realized that, I reduced my time in the park or try to go to those parks where my friends don't go - other wise I just keep ignoring my kids.

kalsee

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 6:42 am

imaima wrote:

bamamama wrote:

amother wrote:

aleza wrote:

Drives me a little nuts when I see moms with their noses in their screens (iphones, ipads, etc) and ignoring their kids.

That's me.

Bad amother.

Wanna share my candy bar? I'll save the seat next to me for you.

So you could text each other? Smile

Maybe it's sad, but my social life IS the mothers in the park. I don't see anything wrong with ignoring my kids as long as they're safe and having a good time. (I always keep one eye out for them.)
Self sufficiency is a good thing.

morah

Tue, Aug 13 2013, 8:31 am

I do use the park as a break, but I don't really socialize because I'm busy keeping an eye out. My son is only 2, but the park we go to is built for smaller kids, so he is capable of navigating/climbing all by himself. Also, it is a very small, enclosed area, so I can sit on the bench and see the entire park no matter where he goes. I only get up if he wants me to or if he requires assistance or intervention. He comes to me if he wants a drink, snack, or to ask me to play with him. I'm in my 9th month, and I am so grateful to have this park available- I can let him run around outside without having to stay on top of him like I might at a bigger park or on our front lawn. I do play with him at home, but park time is his time to roam and explore by himself and entertain himself and do something without me.