omg im crying | Imamother

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:54 pm

OP can you explain? I'm trying to understand. What are your monthly expenses like?

(Our bank account has nowhere near $8000, and we get by fine, if that makes you feel any better.)

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 12:59 pm

boysrus wrote:

is this thread a joke???

op here, no this is not a joke.

thanks for making me feel better e/o

I have been watching my bank account dwindle the past few months and this the lowest its been at, I thought it was very little like a scarily small amount but apparantly not. its just that we dont have much income now and at the rate were going between paying rent and other expenses soon there will be a balance of zero and that scares me

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 1:04 pm

You are right to be concerned.

What matters is not how much is in it, but the direction of change.

If you have a hole in your pocket somewhere, you are absolutely right to wonder what to do about that.

If you are heading for Florida and the signs say "Maine, 1000 miles" you are right to say "Maine is still a thousand miles away, but we aren't supposed to be heading there. We had better turn around".

Do some hard thinking.

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 1:07 pm

I am in the same boat.

If I think about it for too long, the stress lines appear on my forehead...

What has helped me is to exercise my emunah skills, and to think practically about how to save $$ and how to bring $$ in...

But when it all comes down to it, I am still scared!!!

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 1:33 pm

Older ladies on this forum:

Could you be sparing somebody child-care costs????

Think about it. Exert yourself.

You can re-learn what you forgot, and there is plenty of help nearby if you need it.

Babysit for free for somebody who is paying for it. You will enjoy it.

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 1:59 pm

I guess if you had over $50,000 and it's down to $8000 you are wondering where this will lead.

I am poverty stricken.

My bank accounts have long been closed.

We have 1 checking account that we use to write checks.

Usually that account is overdrawn.

The little we earn is spent before we even see the money.

But you probably wont know if you see me.

I live in a nice home but we do not have nice things.

we are wearing clean clothes if few and not new.

we are leasing a car since somehow we manage to come up with the $200 and month but can't come up with enough to purchase an old car.

So in the outside it looks okayish. No one will think we are wealthy but they won't believe the lack of money in the bank.

you need a job or perhaps a better one.

My problem is small children at home and lack of skills.

If anyone wants to babysit for me I will be happy to find a job.

I will not be happy leaving my children without proper care.

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 2:34 pm

We r absolutely broke as well. Salaries are depleted as soon as they are paid. No luxuries here. Also have one of those add husbands to deal with and all the havoc he has created with our finances. You would never know it by looking at us. The future is too scary to contemplate. How will we marry off our kids? What if we get sick chas veshalom?I deal with it one day at a time, I try to just put one foot in front of the other and try to make it through each day at work and at home. Don't always succeed though and I suffer from anxiety attacks in the dead of night when everything seems so grim In the darkness. This doesn't help you, op, and sorry for the hijack...misery loves company. Hugs.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 2:50 pm

What's an older lady?

Ladies!! Register with your Rebbetzins that you are available and what hours.

The Rebbetzins will act as a clearing house to match young mothers with older women for a few hours of coverage. Near where they live.

Imamothers, if your mother isn't near you, nudge her to help a young family near her.

Create family pairs: I help out with your grandchildren, because you are helping out with mine. (I live far from my kids, and you live far from your kids, so we switch.)

Or Sister Hashkafas: People who think like you in another city can create a common pool of young mothers and Savtinas that they can all both give to, and draw on.

(The older women who babysit for free are called Savtinas.)

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 2:56 pm

If you know anyone who does day trading, the price of Russian stocks is going down. So, you can short the market and bet that the price will continue to drop. But things should stabilize soon, so get out of the market by tomorrow.

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 3:02 pm

I just spoke to my dh. The entire market is dropping because of the unrest in Russia.

You can take any stock and bet that the price will drop over the next two hours until the close of business. It's an easy way to make money, but get out when the area starts to stabilize.
Bad news is always good for business.

Even the great Google stock (which is rumored to split soon) is dropping bc of Russia.

lubaussie

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 3:20 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Dolly are you an older lady? Where do you live? I would like some free babysitting Very Happy

amother

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 3:28 pm

Hello
I'm so sorry for you OP

Its NOT funny not to have money. At all.

Its embarrassing. It tastes like sand. It looks like a dreary rainy day. It feels like vomit.

I am 70K in debt and no savings . I dont see us out of this. Crying

I am mostly not creating new debt [this means that debt is only growing 100-500 a year]

My husband has.....issues. Finally he is employed at something he can do. The pay is minimal but steady. I work very hard but its soo difficult.

I am on BC because of the whole situation.

I have huge bills everywhere. I'm so embarrassed. I'm such a responsible forward thinking person. I cringe when I face the people I owe money to.My husband wrecked everything while I dealt with all the things I had to adjust to in marriage and motherhood.

Nebech. He has a very painful past. I didn't leave him because we already were expecting our first child when the first tell tale signs cropped up Sad

Its really really hard. I put on a ton of weight from stress.

so yes OP -daven. daven for me and I'll daven for you.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 4:00 pm

I am indeed an older lady. That is why I know about this.

I am not awfully strong, or I would. Some people can do it and some people can't.

And, I said, go through your Rebbetzin, not the Internet. Or the authorities of your hashkafa.

I am not for the mentality "I did my bit, my kids are grown, and now I can have fun." Woman's work is never done. Or anyway, you can pitch in a little in these difficult times. Four hours a WEEK might make a difference to somebody and one can spare that.

Especially if someone were doing the same thing for YOUR daughter, on a reciprocal basis.

naomi2

Mon, Mar 03 2014, 4:38 pm

Hugs to you!! sounds like you are terrified because you see where this might be headed.

aside for trying to boost your income, sit down with dh and discuss monthly expenses that are MUSTS gas, heat, childcare, food, electric, rent and minimal spending money etc.
withdraw enough cash to cover the costs and split it up into labeled envelopes for the above expenses.
put away your credit cards and checkbooks.
eat lots of pasta, beans and rice.
try to go away or out for shobbos meals.
Hatzlacha rabba! this can end well-take hope and advice!