Is there a reason why my teenage dd should not have Whasapp?

etky

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 8:05 am

the world's best mom wrote:

I am not a fan of Whatsapp. Maybe because I'm not a teenager whose friends all have it, I'm not missing out on anything by not having it. I don't want new time wasters, especially if they can potentially be used inappropriately.

Yes, but as you noted, what happens if you're a teen and you're the only one in your class or group of friends that doesn't have it?
In Israel at least it is rampant and completely ubiquitous in many, many social circles.
Not so simple....

Reesa

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 8:14 am

Anything that could potentially be used inappropriately poses a real danger to a teenager. Teenagers don't always have the best decision making skills and with whatsapp you don't have to actively choose to send inappropriate material, you can just be the recipient and that's harmful. I see adults forwarding "funny" things excessively. I'd be scared if my teenager was exposed to that.

mfb

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:31 am

Heyaaa wrote:

You can remove yourself from a conversation where ppl are exchanging dirty jokes.

Of course you can. But will a teenage girl be strong enough to do that????

Heyaaa

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:38 am

mfb wrote:

Of course you can. But will a teenage girl be strong enough to do that????

The same girl who won't refuse these jokes on whatsapp will find the same stuff somewhere else.

It's not whatsapp that's the issue.

Reesa

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:42 am

Most people who have whatsapp will justify using it with it's innocent merrits. I am being more objective now that I got rid of it. It's an evil that presents itself with innocence. It can be used very poorly.

Reesa

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:48 am

Heyaaa wrote:

The same girl who won't refuse these jokes on whatsapp will find the same stuff somewhere else.

It's not whatsapp that's the issue.

I don't agree with you. There are good girls who wouldn't look go out looking for it but if someone throws it in their face they will look at it.

Notsobusy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:54 am

Thanks everyone. I'm still confused, but at least I know more about what I'm confused about Wink

.

I'm leaning towards letting her have whatsapp, she is very mature and I really trust her. My biggest question is about what some of you brought up, which is basically, do I trust her friends not to share inappropriate things. I have to think about that some more.

If I do let her have it, I will definitely discuss with her the points some of you brought up, such as not using a profile picture of herself and making sure she knows everyone else in the group.

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:58 am

Reesa wrote:

I don't agree with you. There are good girls who wouldn't look go out looking for it but if someone throws it in their face they will look at it.

Exactly what I was going to say, but you said it better.

You know all the email jokes that go around....I can't stop my coworkers (the company can, though, and my company actually has something about it, because it can really clog the servers if these massive email threads keep going....) but several years ago my then-teenaged cousin sent jokes around the family emails....and she sent one I thought was really inappropriate. I called her on that one, and she was a bit more careful after that.

I think teens today have unprecedented access to inappropriate material they never would've gone looking for. Some of it just falls into their laps - or cellphones, email, etc....

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:01 am

glutenless wrote:

Thanks everyone. I'm still confused, but at least I know more about what I'm confused about Wink

Another point to mention is that she should be prepared to delete anything she finds inappropriate. Just by mentioning this, you open her up to critical thinking. Just like I go thru the mail in my mailbox and toss out the trash.....this is a skill we must develop with whatever media we have. Read what's pertinent, and don't be afraid to discard that which bears tossing. (and even to speak up, where necessary....if she can.)

youngishbear

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:06 am

Heyaaa wrote:

You can remove yourself from a conversation where ppl are exchanging dirty jokes.

Will your teen do that?

What if it's the group that your daughter joined WA for in the first place?

Look, there's no question that people can send each other shtuyot by email, sms, or even snail mail. WA just makes it super easy to not "waste" a second asking yourself "is this appropriate to share? Are all the people on this group interested in this?" No need to decide whom to forward it to - just post and everyone can "enjoy" the mind numbing meme.

I know of a group where one person was kicked off for constantly posting bad content (after being warned repeatedly.) With teenagers, the likely scenario is that the lowest common denominator will drag everyone in the group down.

Notsobusy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:37 am

Chayalle wrote:

Thanks, that is another good point to discuss with her.