fasting and preg | Imamother

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 3:00 pm

im 7 months pregnant. really nervous about fasting on tuesday! I get so nauseous when I havent eaten. I also get sort sort of violently hungry. like ineed to eat something right now! my appitite is huge.
im pretty much dreading fasting. I had braced myself for yom kippur ( due 2 days after ) but I had forgoten about tisha beav!

any tips?? advice? how do iget through it ?

I also have a one year old to look after but my husband wont have work so im hoping he will take care of him most of the time.

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 6:16 pm

Definitely ask...I thought for sure I would have to. I'm a the beginning and not eating much anyway. But, dh said I should ask the rav. I was shocked when he said not to fast! Please ask. Two years ago on YK. I was also at the very beginning and was told (by a diff rav) I could drink shiurim (not water though, grape juice...since I would also be getting calories that way) I was very surprised. I ended up really not having much because I was too nauseous anyway! It doesn't hurt to ask. I have also been told not to on 9 Av when I was in my 7th month. Like I said never hurts to ask.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 9:19 pm

ask above, ask a shaila. Not only if you have to fast, but if you start feeling sick, with what type of symptoms should you eat and how much.
Also - start hydrating NOW. Drink, drink, drink.
I fasted in my 7th month YK 2 years ago with a 1+ yr old and B"H managed okay, as far as I remember. Just take it easy and stay indoors.
b'sha-ah tova and feel good!

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 9:31 pm

Twice when I was due sukkos I was told not to fast Y"K.Only drink shiurim (I think it was less then 2oz more than 9 min apart) bit of a pain but baby & I were fine.9th Av I was told to fast until chatzos with one of them then see from there how I felt. The other I was told not to fast at all, eat reg (no partires though) as I had some complications during pg & once you eat you are not fasting unlike Y"K.
Anyway each woman & sit is diff but please ask..

mimivan

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 10:02 pm

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, and I know y'all are just trying to help, but I think there can be some problem with "psak sharing."Every woman has to ask her own rav about fasting on YK and 9th of Av while nursing/pregnant, and I fear that sometimes discussing what "My rav said in year x" might influence people not to ask their Rav and to follow whatever they read on this site, which would not be correct for them..

I was in similar situations as those described here, but the rav told me something very different. I can only assume that there are certain details in every woman's situation that makes the psak special for her.

Basically, I think psak sharing can be a dangerous game, and I'd ask a rav...

Here ends the Public Service Announcement Very Happy

Last edited by mimivan on Sun, Jul 22 2007, 10:05 pm; edited 1 time in total

mimivan

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 10:04 pm

[quote="amother"]Twice when I was due sukkos I was told not to fast Y"K.Only drink shiurim (I think it was less then 2oz more than 9 min apart) bit of a pain but baby & I were fine.9th Av I was told to fast until chatzos with one of them then see from there how I felt. The other I was told not to fast at all, eat reg (no partires though) as I had some complications during pg & once you eat you are not fasting unlike Y"K.
Anyway each woman & sit is diff but please ask..[/quote]

amother, thanks for saying this...

boruchhashem

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 10:10 pm

I too was pregnant last year this time, due the last day of succoss. According to my doctor, he said no problem to fast. My dh was very shocked at the answer, and asked a rav who didn't even ask what the dr. said, he simply said to break the fast when I feel like I need to. Since I only had a 6 year old at home, it wasn't so bad, plus I knew I was able to break it at any time, guess what, I fasted the whole day, without any problems, B'H.

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 10:40 pm

here is my dilemna- I am very, very early on. Have not had the first appt. at the docs yet and obviously have not spoken to anyone about it. I'YH it will be a healthy pregnancy but we are still at the "keep it quiet stage". I know that it may be better to ask a Rav but I feel uncomfortable as we wouldn't even plan to tell anyone for at least another 2 months! What should I do? I am nervous that I will feel really weak, trying to run after my toddler all day.

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 11:21 pm

Variation on the theme: I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I get extremely nauseous (etc.) when I don't eat. I have to keep something in my stomach at all times so I won't throw up. It's worst at night but pretty bad all day. Fasting is going to be a nightmare - also with a bunch of kids home (no camp!!!). I will ask a rav about how to handle the fast, but my question is ....

How do I explain to my over-bas-mitzvah-age daughter why I'm eating/drinking if in fact I get a heter to?? Although she may well have guessed by now that I'm expecting, I haven't officially told her and didn't plan to for a while longer (as long as I can get away with until it's really public).

Also, if anyone has the number of a Chabad rav who will actually answer his phone late tonight or tomorrow, I would be very grateful for that info.........

An easy fast & b'shaah tovah to all............

amother

Mon, Jul 23 2007, 12:01 am

To the amother above...I am in about the same spot as you. I am not fasting and very nervous what my kids, especially my oldest who is 10, will think. A few ideas I have come up with...1. I am going to keep anything that does not need to be kept cold (crackers, bottled water, etc.) in my bedroom. I will go in there when I feel I need something. 2. I will also try to eat breakfast early, before they wake up. 3. I will try eat when they are occupied, playing upstairs, reading, etc. Yes, it will take a bit of planning. 4. I am going to try to get them to bed early, then have dinner myself. 5. If for some reason they do ask, I plan on saying "Imma is not feeling well. The rav said that I do not have to fast" (they know I have been feeling yucky and have not been "myself" lately.
Please ask whether or not you must fast. I was so suprised that I don't have to!

Mama Bear

Mon, Jul 23 2007, 12:34 am

newly pg amother, I dont think that if youre thaaaat early youll get a heter to break your fast. I think that when theyre more concerned about preterm labor in the third trimester they give you a heter. it doesnt hrut to ask but dont be surprised if they say you do have to fast.

mimivan

Mon, Jul 23 2007, 12:38 am

amother wrote:

If your oldest is 10, can't you explain to him or her the concept of a heter? I think they would be old enough to understand. Even if they don't chop it 100%, it would be much better than hiding the fact you are eating. What if you get caught? How are they going to believe you weren't doing something wrong if youwere hiding it? Better to be out in the open and try to explain it...

I remember I was babysitting once (I was 8 months pregnant) and I was talking to the mother about fasting on Tisha b' av...When the mother left, the 6 year old said "Do you want me to ask my grandfather who is a rabbi? Maybe you won't have to fast." Wink

(I had to explain to him my rabbi told me to fast, but he got the idea.)

amother

Mon, Jul 23 2007, 12:39 am

I had also thought of hiding food in my bedroom... 8)

And my kids definitely know that I haven't been myself the last few weeks - not feeling well, needing a lot of rest... so maybe it wouldn't be a big deal for them to know that because of not feeling well, I might not be fasting.

Still awkward, but understandable, I guess.

This is NOT my favorite part of pregnancy - for so many reasons!!! (so tempting to put the throwing up emoticon, but I'm forcing myself to maintain my dignity)

P.S. still looking for the number of an available Chabad rav....