when you don't get to celebrate

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Forum -> Announcements & Mazel Tovs -> Mazel Tov on Birthdays & Anniversaries

When you don't get to celebrate

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greenfire

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 9:23 am

I know it shouldn't matter ... but it would have been #22 ... when you don't get to celebrate something you wanted to be able to - forever and a day ... but couldn't ... and chai elul is not a date you could accidently forget ... it is all too sad Crying

Ima'la

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 9:25 am

sorry green... {{{hugs}}}

greenfire

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 10:03 am

there is always a bitter/sweet feeling - after all marriage should be forever and when it is not we must mourn our dream our hope ... sometimes I think it's worse than death !!!

Ima'la

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 11:19 am

because then the love is still there...it's a very different kind of pain and mourning...

Yakira

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 11:46 am

GF - this is the weirdest thing. My parent's anniversary is also chai elul! And it would have been 31, but unfortunately my father was niftar 4 years ago.

I know my mother always feels a little sad this time of year, but tries to still celebrate somewhat -- she bought herself roses for this past shabbos!

I called her and wished her a Happy Anniversary, and she said 'You're kidding, right?' and I said 'Ima, if not for you and Abba getting married, I never would have been here. Besides, you do have many things to commemorate and celebrate'.

I know it's a little different because this is something you chose to end, but the similarity in dates and fact that it's no longer a celebration for either of you really stood out. If you do have any good memories to celebrate, or even just because you have children you love from that marriage, why not treat yourself to something nice?

greenfire

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 12:10 pm

hey yakira ... so what are you buying me Mr. Green

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 12:23 pm

While I agree that it is not the same as a wedding anniversary after the marriage has ended, my youngest child's birthday is bittersweet for me. His twin passed away on the day that they were born . Even though each year to us is a special celebration, we always remember that it is without one.

Yakira

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 1:21 pm

greenfire wrote:

hey yakira ... so what are you buying me Mr. Green

Um...Flowers....?
Seriously - go out to eat all by yourself, it's not as bad as it sounds, and it's cheaper than a dinner for 2! Smile

chaylizi

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 1:34 pm

I remember feeling that way afer my divorce- and it only lasted a year. But 5 years later, I'm still saying I would have been married 6 years in December. Do something nice for yourself that you enjoy, but wouldn't normally do. Maybe it will make you feel better.

Aimee

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 1:55 pm

<<<HUGS>>>

bashinda

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 3:47 pm

*HUGS* Greenfire!

Tefila

Sun, Sep 02 2007, 4:06 pm

Quote:

my youngest child's birthday is bittersweet for me. His twin passed away on the day that they were born . Even though each year to us is a special celebration, we always remember that it is without one.

Yep I can truly relate Crying