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Forum
-> Judaism
-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
amother
Emerald
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Thu, May 18 2017, 2:46 am
I B"H am married to a wonderful man who is very chassidish. I come from a very non-chassidish background and was NOT looking for a chasid. B"H, Hashem thought otherwise and we are married. However, a few years + children, down the line, I am still having a hard time with some aspects of chassidus, specifically that of hiskashrus. I can't ask my DH because I don't think he could understand the question. To him it is so basic to his emunah, etc. It would pain him that I feel this way after so many years.
Can anyone here explain to me how and why this works?
Please - only those who have an answer and can help. I am not looking to cause issues in my marriage, etc.
Thank you.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Thu, May 18 2017, 4:51 am
I am chassidish and not familiar with the term hiskashrus. Can you explain?
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amother
Purple
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Thu, May 18 2017, 5:27 am
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, May 18 2017, 6:22 am
Thank you. I don't seem to be able to get this You tube (filter). can someone please explain?
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, May 18 2017, 6:26 am
I managed to watch this. It is really cute, but doesn't really answer my question.
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crust
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Thu, May 18 2017, 6:40 am
Haven't heard the term before.
I understand that hiskashrus means being 'tied' to Hashem.
Can you please explain how it's used? Like, is it a form of hisbodedut? A level of emunah? Sorry for my naivete. I guess chasidish is not specific enough.
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DrMom
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Thu, May 18 2017, 6:52 am
amother wrote: | I am chassidish and not familiar with the term hiskashrus. Can you explain? |
I thought the OP was having a problem with "his kashrus" (I thought she forgot to add a space between the 2 words).
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, May 18 2017, 7:02 am
Hiskashrus in Chassidus is a connection, specifically to a rebbe, byt not just as someone you go to or learn from, but in a spiritual way, so a chassid can have ut with a rebbe who is far away, who is no longer alive, etc.
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crust
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Thu, May 18 2017, 7:13 am
amother wrote: | Hiskashrus in Chassidus is a connection, specifically to a rebbe, byt not just as someone you go to or learn from, but in a spiritual way, so a chassid can have ut with a rebbe who is far away, who is no longer alive, etc. | oh! So he is mekusher to a Rav tzaddik etc and you can't understand it? Is that what you are trying to say? If it is, I have to tell you you are very normal.
I think hiskashrus is a personal thing and something you need to grow up with. You are very special for not touching it with your husband because it can definitely hurt him. However, your thoughts and feelings about this are valid. I think you do have to find someone to express your thoughts about this and be understood and validated.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Thu, May 18 2017, 7:34 am
ויאמנו בה'
ומשה עבדו
A tzadik is supposed to show you how to be closer to Hashem.
These days it's not only Chasidim that do this, go to BMG they have tish Purim, Simchas Torah, people ask shailos.
עשה לך רב
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watergirl
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Thu, May 18 2017, 7:48 am
cnc wrote: | http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/96055/jewish/What-Do-the-Links-of-Hiskashrus-Consist-Of.htm
A Google search leads me to believe that the OP is addressing Lubavitch posters. |
Although we dont call it "hiskashrus", Breslov also has a strong idea of binding oneself to the tzaddik. As I understand it, its a main point of ALL chassiduses, actually. Maintaining a close relationship with the rebbe is paramount.
Op, I had a very hard time when we got married also with this. I thought I got it... I didnt. It took learning on my part, really delving into learning Rabbeinu's teachings and thats how I overcame my discomfort. It came from lack of understanding. Can you learn about the chassidus/Rebbe? I say on here all the time - chassidus has little to do with hats, seams, stockings, shopping.... its deeper and meaningful. But so often the beauty gets lost in the culture and externals.
If you can share what chasidus your husband is, we can maybe help.
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HonesttoGod
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Thu, May 18 2017, 11:03 am
I am of the opinion that having a connection/close tie with a Rav, Rebbe or leader is very important in any sect/religion.
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, May 18 2017, 3:03 pm
First, I would like to thank all of those who took the time to answer. My dh is not Chabad but I think this is something that is central to all chassidus, and, I think, one of the main criticisms of Chassidus in the Litvish world. I strongly believe in a kesher with a rav/rebbi/ mentor who can guide you, The way I understand it, hiskashrus is the person's connection to hashem goes through the rebbe, and he needs to keep that connection. For example, dh's grandfather was told by his rebbe to always eat bread when he wakes up, before davening. That then became part of his hiskashrus, and no matter what (other than fast days), he did it, even when it may have caused other things. This was because it was his hiskashrus to the rebbe.
If this is unclear, it is because I am unclear about it.
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rydys
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Sun, Jun 25 2017, 9:52 pm
The connection to a Rebbe was explained to me when I was younger using the analogy of a pipe system. The idea is to keep a connection to Hashem, like water likes to connect to its source. There can be many pipes flowing from an initial source, and each stream of water has a connection through a different pipe. The Rebbe is the pipe connecting the person to Hashem. Each person has to connect to the Rebbe who his Neshama connects to and can guide him in the manner which is correct for him to connect to Hashem.
Often the Rebbe is the same one his father connected to, but not always and it can be trial and error to get the right one. However, once the connection is made it needs to constantly be strengthened and worked on to achieve that connection with the Rebbe's guidance.
Even after the Rebbe dies, the connection can still be strong. Most people will find a new Rebbe to connect to, usually one of the descendents of the first Rebbe but there are those who do not move on and can still connect through the neshama of their first Rebbe, even if they have to ask their sheilos elsewhere.
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amother
Emerald
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Mon, Jun 26 2017, 12:30 am
Thank you so much for your clear explanation. It really helps me a lot. Can I ask more: what is the connection between this and many things that are used to strengthen it. For example, dh told me that his rebbe once aid that if two or even one of his chssidim make a zitz and sing together (or alone), wherever they are, this will strengthen their hiskashrus to him.
Thank you again.
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