Nose peircings | Imamother

amother

Emerald

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:30 am

I just got my nose pierced and although I wanted it so bad I'm still very ambivalent about having one. I'm not worried for shidduchim or school for my kids. I'm more concerned about coming out as disrespectful to my community. Also I work with a lot of teens and elementary age kids who look up to me a lot since I'm modest and put together plus I'm super artsy and creative. People who I'm close with like my husband tell me its in my head and not based on much reality. I also am super modest in every way so I sorta carry the look very elegantly. I have a tiny stud ...and when I heals I plan to go smaller. The inner turmoil is making me resent the peircing and after wanting it so bad I'm considering not keeping it.. Thoughts anyone?

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:56 am

I'm very yeshivish and also think there's something very elegant and beautiful about a small nose ring. That being said it's NOT accepted in my community and I would never do it. And certainly don't think anyone in a place of influencing children and teens should have.

amother

Indigo

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:25 am

amother wrote:

I've never seen a fine person have one

I have seen. I think it's quite elegant actually. I guess it really depends on how yeshivish your community is.

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:27 am

I've never seen it in traditional (or religious!!) Jewish circles, but I'm not Israeli. I grew up in public school. It was not allowed, and wasn't generally well seen.

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 10:01 am

In what forum do you work with teens? If in a school, you need to talk to someone in the school. If independently, you still might want to talk to someone in the school(s) the kids go to.
From everything you're saying, if you worked with my daughter in some capacity, I would not have an issue with your continuing to. However I do not feel that people or school who/that would are small-minded. I have to get off soon and need to organize my thoughts to see if I can cogently explain why. I'm with the amother earlier who said that it can be tasteful, but who wouldn't get it myself, and (I'll be softer here) has reservations about someone who's working with teens getting it.

amother

Pink

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 10:22 am

Ruchel wrote:

I've never seen it in traditional (or religious!!) Jewish circles, but I'm not Israeli. I grew up in public school. It was not allowed, and wasn't generally well seen.

What does being or not being Israeli have to do with it?
How do you know that OP is Israeli?

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:25 am

Israel is the only place I have seen good, frum girls with piercings. Not France not Italy not Belgium not Switzerland not Germany not UK should I go on??

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:28 am

I think she meant that it's much more common among religious women in Israel, though not in the Charedi world, at least not that I've seen. You meet many religious and refined women in the dati leumi community with nose piercings. Though it's not my thing, it's clearly not a violation of halacha. Like so much else, it is about conformity.

amother

Pink

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:36 am

amother wrote:

I don't. At least not in my mainstream dati leumi circles.
Girls, a certain type, perhaps.
More 'established', married women - not at all prevalent.

icebreaker

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:43 am

I think they look nice. I live next to an Indian couple and the women have nose rings and whenever they dress up, they just look beautiful. Their nose rings compliment them so well. Never knew nose rings were a thing in yeshivish or dati leumi circles.

mandksima

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 12:34 pm

It was good enough for Rivka Imeinu... I don't know why they lost in popularity over the years. I think a small stud can be quite beautiful. I like seeing them on grown up women though who just like the look rather than on young teenagers who want to portray a certain look that goes with other rebellious behaviors and more aggressive piercings. That's why I said no to my 16 year old getting one. It definitely is more cultural.

As a mentor to teens, it depends. If you want to look approachable and cool, it might help. They should understand it should be something they need to wait until they are older before wanting one. On the other hand, I could see how other mothers may not want you mentoring their daughter...

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 3:26 pm

mandksima wrote:

So the question is, why?
Is it because the daughter will come home saying, "But you like OP so much and she has one. What's wrong with it?"?
So what is wrong with it?
Is it because it's unconventional? Are we ever unconventional? Is there some line?

MrsDash

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 4:29 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

You're feeling guilty and you want to set an example why would you want to even do it. I've never seen a fine person have one

Whoa there buddy! I've been wearing a nose ring for well over a decade. Was I meant to be excluded from the finer class? Oh no! Oh dear! Oh my!

Next time, respond under your own username, unless you're feeling "guilty" about something?...

FYI- You obviously need to get out more...

amother

Denim

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 4:35 pm

mandksima wrote:

It was good enough for Rivka Imeinu... I don't know why they lost in popularity over the years. I think a small stud can be quite beautiful.

I actually asked a very chasidishe Rebitzin about this once and she replied that although yes, it can be beautiful, it was adopted by the umos haolam and worn in a low class manner, so therefore, even though a nose ring has its source in the Torah, most Jewish people don't wear them today because of the image the umos haolam have created around it.

But there is nothing inherently wrong with a nose ring. It all comes down to image portrayal.

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 2:55 pm

It looks "particular" on white women, while it looks more normal and not shocking on say, Indian women. Rivka Imenu probably didn't look European. I don't mind those on Indian jews. I wouldn't want a teen mentor pushing the envelope for my community.
Moroccan Jews held Rivka Imeinu wore that type of nose pendant -not a piercing. I tend to think they might be right.

ramateshkolmom

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 3:13 pm

It is hard to want something and feel one way about expressing yourself when you have to conform in another way. Good luck, I hope you come to peace with whatever decision you make!

amother

Jade

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 3:41 pm

does it hurt a lot to have one's nose pierced? can it cause an infection if place not kept hygienic?
I wonder what it feels like to have something sticking into one's nose?
my kids keep on telling me to have my ears pierced, and I'm scared stiff... - can't be bothered with the pain, have had enough pain and pricking with injections, blood tests and intravenous in my life, - and also being careful about infections with earrings.

Wondering if a nose ring is a chatzitzah and has to be removed before mikvah? and if yes, do you have to clean the hole like with earring holes?

interesting...

Jalapeño

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 3:41 pm

I think it definitely depends on your community re: working with teens, but I personally think a tasteful stud can portray a really positive message coming from a mature, frum woman. (As in 'you can be tznius and frum and still be your own person' )

Although I'm certainly biased as I have a small gold stud in my nostril. I've never felt judged or unaccepted, even in (relatively) very frum communities.