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Forum
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-> Chit Chat
relish
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 Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:36 pm
| Jewishfoodie wrote: | | (shhhhhh... But I love your creativity! Can you do elephant? ) |
🦆....🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
Why did the elephants cross the road?
Last edited by relish on Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Jewishfoodie
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:37 pm
| relish wrote: | 🦆....🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
Why did the elephants cross the road? |
He smelled Chwalapchahs and he was trying to get away. Duh.
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SuperWify
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:38 pm
| Jewishfoodie wrote: | Poor you... Do you at least have 5 therapists?
Because if you and your alter ego don't, WHY ARE YOU ON IMA! Did you NOT read The Subjugated Wife?! |
THERAPY? What am I ( besides being highly offended) a shiksa?!??
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Jewishfoodie
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:38 pm
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Hey! "am I in labor' mother had a baby! I'm so happy! I woulda lost that bet..
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simba
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:44 pm
| SuperWify wrote: | Ok- real SuperWify speaking.
I’m starting to feel so awful for this fake SuperWify.
I’m going to say this really loud:
HER HUSBAND IS A JERK.
THEY NEED COUSELING!
A GET WOULD BE BETTER. |
Here we go again, anti dh bias on imamother.
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SuperWify
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:48 pm
| simba wrote: | | Here we go again, anti dh bias on imamother. |
Yup he totally deserves to be waited on hands and knees. What audacity this woman has! Let’s send her back to IKA straight away!
Obviously Imamother brainwashed her on a very bad way.
What a nebech.
Let’s divide the tehillim to be said right after chatzos (unless your busy with the Mitzva of course.)
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keym
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Tue, Feb 20 2018, 11:13 pm
| SuperWify wrote: | Yup he totally deserves to be waited on hands and knees. What audacity this woman has! Let’s send her back to IKA straight away!
Obviously Imamother brainwashed her on a very bad way.
What a nebech.
Let’s divide the tehillim to be said right after chatzos (unless your busy with the Mitzva of course.) |
I cant say tehillim. I heard from my mil friends daughters neighbor that aftrr chatzos tonight IKA is guaranteeing acceptance for everyone who calls for a slot in 18 years for their daughters.
So I need to sign up my 6 girls under 4. Their mother wasnt zoche to go but they will.
(You did not hear this from me.)
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rainbow
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 8:22 am
| simba wrote: | He hits me so hard I was crying, she said it's out of love and suggested this romance novel so I can learn to appreciate his love language.
I read the 5 love languages already and I guess his is touch. I left it in the bathroom for him to read and I haven't seen him in days.
Do all men sit in the bathroom that long?
Ugh..adjusting to married life is much harder then I expected.
Any advice? |
There is a grey building in Meah She'arim - (that's fifty plus fifty doors, can you imagine that?). I have heard that's the male iteration of Isha K'shaira Academy. Maybe send your dh there. That ought to shape him up. Or down. Whichever one is needed to balance things out for the two of you.
And because I care about you I want to tell you a secret code for when you need to know a secret code. You'll know it when you need it. The code is 911. Write it down on a piece of paper and chazer it every day. Super important if your dh hasn't been to the men's academy yet.
Disclaimer: neither dh nor I have attended our gender-respective Academies, so any info I share is based on hearsay only.
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 8:58 am
Huge dilemma guys!
Was walking in my shaitel outside, and left my burka at the cleaners by mistake, (it was b'shaas Had'chak of course) and I heard cars honking about 3 or 4 blocks away. The drivers were not nekaivah, so now I'm not sure what to do.
Do I throw away or burn all my wigs?
Do I eat 20 pounds of food so that my figure never shows again?
Do I cry emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?
Or can I assume that since it's Erev Purim, there's traffic?
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relish
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 9:02 am
| Jewishfoodie wrote: | Huge dilemma guys!
Was walking in my shaitel outside, and left my burka at the cleaners by mistake, (it was b'shaas Had'chak of course) and I heard cars honking about 3 or 4 blocks away. The drivers were not nekaivah, so now I'm not sure what to do.
Do I throw away or burn all my wigs?
Do I eat 20 pounds of food so that my figure never shows again?
Do I cry emotionally? Spiritually? Physically?
Or can I assume that since it's Erev Purim, there's traffic? |
You must join oorahs eatathon this Purim. The more you eat the more you will be mechaper. Tzedaka tatzil memaves-its the only way to save your soul!
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enneamom
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 9:33 am
You guys are all crazy. Crazy, I tell you!
You listen to these ancient decrepit rabbis that tell you to wear burkas and serve meals at your husband's toenails!
You let them lock you up in your houses (I heard they have padlocks on all the houses in Lakewood and New Square that only the rabbis have keys for)
They mandate elaborate themed mishloach manos with custom poetry! When will this abuse stop!
These rabbis have never seen a woman in their lives! They have one goal, and that is to RULE THE WORLD. They feel threatened by you! That is why they personally creep into the printing companies at night and erase the toddler girls' faces! It's the one thing all rabbis agree on!
Most of you probably didn't even vote for Trump, because you have no idea what the President even is, poor sheltered buffoons!
I've had enough. I'm leaving this wretched backwater website where you can't even write the word rubber !)u¢kie without being committed to an institution, for crying out loud. I'm done. (JewishFoodie, any room in your car? I don't have a heter to drive yet...)
I leave you with this final inspirational message. They have you in a stranglehold! Go, my poor brainwashed darlings! Join PETA! Protest outside Trump Tower! Become fighter jet pilots! Break free from this empty life and join the world of ham, zonahs and bars! Before They send you off for "reeducation", and you're never heard from again! Before it's too late!
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Metukah
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 1:16 pm
After reading all this yesterday I was overridden with guilt and I felt I had to leave to attend ika. There are not many options in my country and it wasn't easy but I found an intense 18 hour course.
My Akum is typing this up for me, not only because Chalila I don't want to touch the interweb but also because I couldn't even if I wanted to. I can move nary a bone in my body. Can you imagine getting the entire ika course in 18 hours. I practiced cooking a 9 course supper at the same time as cooking for a 3 day Yom Tov, changing the linen on 5 beds, preparing kids snack and lunch for school, washing a quantity of dishes equivalent to all the dishes I own (including pesach) and doing homework with a (fake off course) high school daughter.
I've got 8 minutes til dh gets home and he is expecting ika results and off course ducks tonight.
I have to pull myself together now.
End of dictation.
Don't write end of dictation.
Oh never mind.
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 1:18 pm
| Metukah wrote: | After reading all this yesterday I was overridden with guilt and I felt I had to leave to attend ika. There are not many options in my country and it wasn't easy but I found an intense 18 hour course.
My Akum is typing this up for me, not only because Chalila I don't want to touch the interweb but also because I couldn't even if I wanted to. I can move nary a bone in my body. Can you imagine getting the entire ika course in 18 hours. I practiced cooking a 9 course supper at the same time as cooking for a 3 day Yom Tov, changing the linen on 5 beds, preparing kids snack and lunch for school, washing a quantity of dishes equivalent to all the dishes I own (including pesach) and doing homework with a (fake off course) high school daughter.
I've got 8 minutes til dh gets home and he is expecting ika results and off course ducks tonight.
I have to pull myself together now.
End of dictation.
Don't write end of dictation.
Oh never mind. |
May you be zocheh to live through your holy journey! Tzadekkes.
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Metukah
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 1:23 pm
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Oops I forgot to add that the entire time I was connected to a machine that stimulates contractions so you can be prepared to do this while in labour.
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Metukah
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 1:24 pm
| Jewishfoodie wrote: | | May you be zocheh to live through your holy journey! Tzadekkes. |
Aw thank you. That means alot.
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SuperWify
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:26 pm
| Metukah wrote: | | Oops I forgot to add that the entire time I was connected to a machine that stimulates contractions so you can be prepared to do this while in labour. |
BH technology today can be used for a good thing!
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Metukah
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 5:18 pm
| SuperWify wrote: | | BH technology today can be used for a good thing! |
You see, everything in the world was created so we can be better Jews.
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SuperWify
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 5:53 pm
| enneamom wrote: | You guys are all crazy. Crazy, I tell you!
You listen to these ancient decrepit rabbis that tell you to wear burkas and serve meals at your husband's toenails!
You let them lock you up in your houses (I heard they have padlocks on all the houses in Lakewood and New Square that only the rabbis have keys for)
They mandate elaborate themed mishloach manos with custom poetry! When will this abuse stop!
These rabbis have never seen a woman in their lives! They have one goal, and that is to RULE THE WORLD. They feel threatened by you! That is why they personally creep into the printing companies at night and erase the toddler girls' faces! It's the one thing all rabbis agree on!
Most of you probably didn't even vote for Trump, because you have no idea what the President even is, poor sheltered buffoons!
I've had enough. I'm leaving this wretched backwater website where you can't even write the word rubber !)u¢kie without being committed to an institution, for crying out loud. I'm done. (JewishFoodie, any room in your car? I don't have a heter to drive yet...)
I leave you with this final inspirational message. They have you in a stranglehold! Go, my poor brainwashed darlings! Join PETA! Protest outside Trump Tower! Become fighter jet pilots! Break free from this empty life and join the world of ham, zonahs and bars! Before They send you off for "reeducation", and you're never heard from again! Before it's too late! |
I just told LH l’toleles. I reported you to Yael.
Such rishus on this site!
I’m in such a shock my neshama fell to my toes.
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simba
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 5:57 pm
| SuperWify wrote: | I just told LH l’toleles. I reported you to Yael.
Such rishus on this site!
I’m in such a shock my neshama fell to my toes. |
At least you have a neshama unlike all the akum's posting on this site.
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Feb 21 2018, 6:05 pm
| simba wrote: | | At least you have a neshama unlike all the akum's posting on this site. |
 I can't imagine who u mean!
Mmm, these Hersheys Kisses are Yummmmmmmm... Come here, Fido, stop licking my sandals.. yes, good dog! Here's a treat.. No chocolate for you...
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