I'm embarrassed by my DS's behavior

amother

Gray

Sat, Mar 24 2018, 11:44 pm

My DS is 11. He already works with a psychiatrist. He is already on meds. His psychiatrist wanted to increase his sertraline but I was reluctant. I finally did and my DS is a mess. Having public angry outbursts. Swearing at other kids. Getting in verbal confrontations. He almost inflicted bodily harm on his sister who is smaller than him because she let us know what he had done one day. He had lost privileges because of it and was angry about that. He was with a psychotherapist also but the therapist no longer takes our insurance. He spent an hour raging in his room on Friday thinking of the most horrible things and using the most vulgar language he could think of during one of his rages. He knows he is different. I'm just sad and exhausted and bewildered about what to do.

amother

Navy

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 12:29 am

amother wrote:

Please have him tested for pandas by a pandas knowledgable dr. Abnormal rage like that always has a biological cause, usually untreated infections. My kid used to rage like that, it was horrifying and heartbreaking to experience. The behavior basically disappeared when we treated for pandas.

My thoughts exactly. My kid was the same until treated.

amother

Gray

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 1:40 am

This is not a new issue. Just recently worse and manifesting somewhat differently because he is now older. I don't think he has PANDAS. He's been a different kid ever since he was born. Of course, I went back to his lower dose of sertraline for now. He seemed to be doing well for a while on sertraline but then it's like his brain becomes accustomed to it and he starts into his old ways again. So far, the only advise we get is "increase his medicine" but that has turned disastrous.

momnaturally

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 3:17 am

amother wrote:

You nailed it. Because medication can stabilize things and chemical imbalance but don't solve underlying issue of what is causing the imbalance.
That is why medication for these type of issues are not a long term solution with out effective therapy. You need to find the right therapist. That is really what he needs. I would just suggest that he is hurting inside. His rage covers up his hurt. You need to figure out how to help him feel good about himself. If he is productive in general throughout the day that will make him feel better about himself much more than positive words of fluff. Get to know the inner side of him or if you can't, then find a therapist or someone else who can.

imasinger

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 6:54 am

OP, what other meds is your DS on, and what is his diagnosis?

Many SSRI's can have a side effect of increased impulsivity, like the behavior you describe.

There are medications that can reduce impulsivity, too.

There are also sometimes ways to tweak anyone's parenting skills to increase chances of success and SB. (Are you familiar with the Nurtured Heart approach? Or Ross Greene?)

Do you want to describe any of the situations you mentioned in more detail? The lead up, the behavior, the consequence?

carrot

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 7:52 am

OP I know you didn't say your son has ADHD, but I was just reading "Finally Focused" by James Greenblatt MD and I wonder if some of this information can help you. He discusses treating kids who manifest mostly "irritability, anger, and aggressiveness" successfully using simple nutritional supplements and the whole book is written clearly and convincingly, he does not come across as a quack. I'm not done reading the book yet but I couldn't read your post and just pass on by.

amother

Peach

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 11:49 am

amother wrote:

Many parents of kids with pandas report that their kid has been different/difficult since they were born. Kids with pandas also don't respond well to psychotropic medication and it often makes them worse. Just putting this out there...

amother

Mint

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 3:05 pm

Op, you didn't give us much information to formulate an opinion, but I'll go out on a limb here. Its sounds like you are focusing too much on stopping behavior than changing the cause of the behavior. It's true that some people are born with personality disorders, but the vast majority of people that end up on psychiatric medication are triggered by events or consistent unpleasant feelings due to their sensitivity. Usually, it is a combination of nature, life experiences, family dynamics, school dynamics, and so much more. The answer to unwanted behavior is not medication. It is medication, perfecting the parent child relationship, working on the social life, making the kid feel important and meaningful. There is also therapy--understanding the root, addressing the root. And then there is making a healthy lifestyle--working out, eating well etc. No one wakes up and says, "gee today I think I will try to make myself and everyone around me miserable. You need to look at the whole picture and see where the blockage in his treatment is. It might be physical--like illness, it might be emotional--like a past trauma, it might be sensorial--like an OT issue, it might be a spiritual block--like not understanding religion or relating to G-d. It might be family dynamics--feeling unloved by his family or sensitive to criticism. You can't take his behavior personally. You need to see your child as a neshama put into your hands to nurture. You do the best you can and dedicate your life to him--he has to do the work, and the results are up to Hashem. You have enough on your plate to start worrying about what other people see and think. if you need to, isolate yourselves. If you can, explain privately. Other people have their issues, you have yours. No one is perfect, and most people are thinking about their own issues.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 3:26 pm

Get a full screening for PANDAS from someone who really knows their stuff.

After that, I would go to a really good allergist, and see if there are any food triggers. Don't go taking healthy food away from a child without knowing what you're doing. If the culprit is wheat, dairy, whatever, listen to the allergist. If you can explain to DS that "this food makes you feel sad and sick" he will be more likely to comply with a diet change.

If all the results are truly negative, then ask your doctor about a med switch. I am NOT QUALIFIED to diagnose, but you can ask your doctor if they think that Abilify or Latuda would be appropriate. Try Latuda first, as it has the least side effects. It's insanely expensive, though, and only available in the US and Canada. Abilify is cheaper and available worldlwide.