Always been embarrassed to ask this

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:31 pm

Every year I go to seders and people have their own shmura matza. Often the families are super frum and they will only eat a special kind that they got from brooklyn or made themselves or something like that. I don't understand it or the reasoning behind it. Can someone explain it to me? I feel so out of it and want to be mehudar but how am I even supposed to know which to buy and where aside from hechsherim??

amother

Black

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:34 pm

I think its a mehudar thing maybe? I dont know. I grew up eating machine matzah and my husbands family only eats hand shmura from the group that they go with to the matzah bakery. I think its just an extra careful thing special for pesach. But we would buy a box of hand shmura from the store if we were running low. Not sure anyone else in his family would. Thats probably my influence.

amother

Peachpuff

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:35 pm

Sometimes it is a difference in haskacha and sometimes in taste (all tastes like cardboard to me). I think sometimes people also bring their own, especially if they are machpid on shuirim as it is a ridiculous expense to incur on your host.

amother

Peachpuff

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:36 pm

amother Black wrote:

FYI, there are yekkes who only eat machine as they feel it is more precise and less likely to accidentally become chametz. Don’t for one minute think machine is less frum.

amother

Black

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:38 pm

amother Peachpuff wrote:

FYI, there are yekkes who only eat machine as they feel it is more precise and less likely to accidentally become chametz. Don’t for one minute think machine is less frum.

Thats probably where it comes from! There's yekkishe blood somewhere in my fam!

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:42 pm

thanks for all these responses!! I feel so out of it (maybe its my baal teshvua insecurities) that I want to be doing the most mehudar thing but then I get to the seder after buying what I think is the right matzah and some of my husband's family won't eat our matzah or my in-laws' matzah and I feel so bad Crying

amother

Black

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:49 pm

Ohhh I'm sorry! I would also feel badly if I tried so hard and then no one would eat what I got. Maybe try to double check with them if you can, but then after that just be proud and cool with what you have. You are doing the right thing for your family, and what they do is right for them. One is not better than the other. Don't let it get to you. Sometimes pesach is when the crazy comes out, you know? I think its probably for a good and beautiful reason, but sometimes the minhagim are kind of intense and you just have to do you.

doodlesmom

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 12:49 pm

Matzah is the one thing we eat pesach with the biggest potential of being chometz. It’s the one thing made out of what chometz is made of.

Understandably, since the difference between chometz and matzah is so minute people are very stringent about their matzahs and each have different chumras.
Some even only eat matzah at the Seder to lessen their chance of eating chometz…

amother

Starflower

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 1:49 pm

Pesach is the yom tov where everyone's unique minhagim really come out. Every family has different things they are particular with. Which hechsherim they will eat, and often people are more stringent pesach time than the rest of the year. What level of processed foods etc.
Matzos are just another example of where the different minhagim rule. Some people are machmir that hand made are better, some are machmir that machine made are better. And then within all of those, it depends on which hechsherim people hold of.
My dh is quite particular which hechsherim he will eat, including his matzos. My parents aren't as bothered. So to keep both sides happy, he comes with his own matzos when we eat by my parents. He's happy, my parents don't take it personally.
And seder night is even more stringent for people and they are more particular seder night about their matzos than the rest of pesach.
Because there's that variety even within a family, I would personally just suggest that everyone bring their own matzos. That way everyone will have matzos they're happy to eat and avoid any issues.
Imagine it's not matzos, but a regular meal food-there's gonna be the one that says they, or their kids, won't eat whatever food it is, whether you're serving sliced brisket, shnitzel, plain potatoes or flavored potatoes. You can't please everyone all the time.

mommyhood

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 2:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

A lot of people I know will only eat 'chaburah matzo' which is basically an extra level of supervision provided by someone they trust on top of the regular supervision in that matzo factory and it can also may mean they themselves went with that supervisor and participated in the process. You'd need to ask your relatives how to get it if you want from the chaburah they use but it is normal, at least to me, for people to provide their own matzo because of this and not something you should feel bad about not having.

MommyM

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:37 pm

mommyhood wrote:

This. When you're there watching them bake the matzoh, they're going to be extra careful.

It's also totally normal to bring over your own matzoh when eating out on Pesach because they're so expensive. In fact, we bring matzoh along when eating with family, even when we trust their hechsher on the matzoh.