Bothered by Neighbors kimcha d'pischA

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:19 pm

shoshanim999 wrote:

What kind of comparison is this? Kimcha dpischa helps people in financial difficulty. A family that is not struggling or making an effort to help themselves and still takes, is abusing the kindness of this organization. Op is resentful that this family is not helping themselves. Sister to sister is helping divorced woman and gifting them not on the basis of finances, but simply because single divorced woman often have it hard and feel alone and the gift in part is a way of saying, we are thinking of you and we care. Also, the op's stance doesn't contradict emunah. If in fact the family the op is referring to is completely abusing the system and taking advantage, I don't think it's reasonable to say that the fact they are successful in abusing the system, must mean hashem wants them to have the pesach package.

Kimcha dpischa is a concept not an organization. (but for all I know skver has a separate organization dedicated to collecting Kimcha dpischa funds, purchasing and distributing).

The family receiving the package is poor by whatever standards skver has set to make that determination. You're either poor or you're not. If you are poor - there isn't enough for Pesach - so you get for Pesach.

If they are gaming they 'system' - well with regard to Pesach food only - its their own system. none of my business - not my community.

If we are talking about government money - that's another conversation.

lfab

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:30 pm

amother wrote:

BUT WHY IS ANY OF IT OP’S BUSINESS? Is she personally donating to this organization which is supposedly misusing the funds (in her opinion) by providing better food items than she approves of?! Who is she to decide what a needy person needs or doesn’t need? Her post reeks of pure jealousy and nothing more.

It's the op's business in the sense that giving tzedaka like this raises the standards for everyone living around these people. So when the op's children see their neighbors wearing the latest fashions that are being sold in frum stores they want to know why they can't have it too. Why are they stuck wearing much less fashionable clothes from regular stores and not the latest "it" dress? Or why can't they also get the yummy, but expensive, nosh for snack? And yes, the op can tell her children no and teach them about budgeting and living within one's means (probably one of the biggest favors she can do fit then as a parent) but having to do that over and over and over stings. Every parent wants to give their children the best, so yes it's going to hurt when you see someone getting so many of the best and highest quality items for nothing while you work hard to cover the basics. Personally I don't see or hear jealousy in the op. I just think she's frustrated with these tzedaka organizations that are raising standards and the expectations of her own children.

amother

Plum

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 2:35 pm

Alis al kulana, knock it off. No ones jealous of getting tzedakka. You literally sound ridiculous.
She’s bothered by our hard earned money in numerous organizations being abused.
Again many of you are getting defensive. Like I said before I imagine it’s those that are getting tuition subsidies etc...

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:02 pm

lfab wrote:

from what was written - the standards of skver generally are 'higher' then non-skver - so the tzedka brings every person in skver up to 'standard'.

so its not the tzadaka organizations that are problematic... its these 'mixed' communities - looking over each other's shoulders.

amother

Jade

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 3:21 pm

Let me assure you again, I'm absolutely NOT jealous! I'm just upset at the package/coupon system! We can bh afford nice clothes for our kids, we bh have what we need. But when we see such a corrupted system it's only normal to get upset. Again, nothing to do with jealousy at all, even if amother Alis al kalanu insists that I'm jealous.

Kiwi13

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:03 pm

Listen, the fact that nice things are given out is wonderful. I agree though that if it’s TOO wonderful it deincentivizes hard work. I also think that regular-grade items (not subpar, but also not lavish) are better choices for organizations to give because funds are limited and many more people could benefit this way.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:17 pm

amother wrote:

but which 'system' are you upset with? the one that gives the family boxes of fancy food for pesach - or the one that gives them food stamps?

different.

33055

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:26 pm

amother wrote:

but which 'system' are you upset with? the one that gives the family boxes of fancy food for pesach - or the one that gives them food stamps?

different.

They are the same system. Luxuries couldn't be provided unless the basics are also.

amother

Mint

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 4:50 pm

You definitely sound jealous OP. I see the same system while I work my brain off and it doesn't bother me in the least bit. I count my blessings I don't need to get to others and I wonder why moshiach isn't here when I see the chesed that klal yisroel does for one another .
Im blown away that they dont just give the basics but make all feel the festivity of yom tov.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:10 pm

Squishy wrote:

They are the same system. Luxuries couldn't be provided unless the basics are also.

There is interplay in the systems - but they are different.

If it was the same system, then a litvish person on food stamps and receive a package from skver.

What you are saying is skver is able to provide the frills, because SNAP provides the staples.

Still skver is collecting tzedaka at a rate that allows it to provide the frills - and thats their choice. and not OPs business.

33055

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:51 pm

amother wrote:

If it was only tzedaka and 100% above board, I would agree with you. But it is not only tzedaka.
Many of the programs are applied fraudulently, and that is everyone's business.

It isn't because I am jealous or a self- hating Jew that I dislike the results of a system that disincentives work and secular learning. It is out of concern for the next generations, that I think things have to be realigned.

What was so wrong with the system that I grew up with that frum Jews were the top students and went into the professions?

flowerpower

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 5:51 pm

This thread is getting really dumb. Some use the system and others abuse the system. Things won't change so make peace with it and finished! Be happy you can make it on your own without relying on donations and funds and what not. When people will stop
Judging others then the world will be a better place.

On a side note, Rav Krohn once said that Tomchei Shabbos came to a rich guy and asked him for donations. He said he will give a huge sum if he gets a list of people that get Tomchei Shabbos. They refused to give even one name since it's confidential. No matter how much he begged they still refused. So the rich guy says, then can you put me on your list? You never know other peoples situations.

33055

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 6:05 pm

flowerpower wrote:

It is a bizarre total twist to judge people who dislike fruad and to say those that are committing fraud should be left alone. I can't believe the character attacks on OP.

flowerpower

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 6:22 pm

Squishy wrote:

It is a bizarre total twist to judge people who dislike fruad and to say those that are committing fraud should be left alone. I can't believe the character attacks on OP.

Not everything is black and white!!!! You don't see everything that goes on in peoples lives. From the man being home all day because he is battling depression to the woman that is going for treatment and no ones knows to the wife and kids suffering from an emotionally abuse father that won't give them any money even for milk to the couple living in poverty because infertility treatment sucked them dry. I can't believe you are all playing gd when there is one that is really in charge.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 6:38 pm

Squishy wrote:

That's not a 'system" its a philosophy. Its the 'work hard in school - and work hard at a job/business' philosophy of life. The one that many people think is the only way.

There is also the - opposite of that philosophy. And between the US gov/state gov/local gov/religious community you can choose 'the opposite', and still land on your feet. I just wouldn't call it a system.

My life choices aren't a system.

SNAP programs are a system. Medicare is a system.