Sleeping arrangements - who is crazy here?!

DrMom

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 10:05 pm

agreer wrote:

Could you switch rooms with your sister? That way she walks through your room, where you'd presumably be with your husband, and your DH never walks through her room where they could be alone.

Yeah, it's totally awkward, but if there's no other choice, I'd do it.

That sounds worse. If I were your sister, I'd feel very uncomfortable having to walk through a room where a married couple is sleeping every time I wanted to leave my bedroom.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 10:41 pm

Sound like a really odd situtation.
The thing is, on imamother, 55% of the responses you'll get will be like- 'just say thank you your mom is having you over' or 'Your mom is intitled to do whatever she whats with her house'. - which is true...
But in real life we all know that some people just don't get it. or have something going on with them that makes accomodating others hard.
So, I am just validating your frustration op.
Such sleeping arrangement are really bizzare.
You are probably best off arranging things with your siblings on your own.

amother

Teal

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 10:49 pm

amother wrote:

Because 55% of people don't want to hear a daughter refer to her mother as crazy - and seek validation of that. Kibbud Eim.

Iymnok

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:01 pm

amother wrote:

Because 55% of people don't want to hear a daughter refer to her mother as crazy - and seek validation of that. Kibbud Eim.

Y’know, sometimes mothers are crazy. And the daughters here sometimes need help navigating through.
Just thank Hashem for your wonderful parents.

amother

Teal

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:12 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Y’know, sometimes mothers are crazy. And the daughters here sometimes need help navigating through.
Just thank Hashem for your wonderful parents.

I do.

(and this particular situation isn't all that crazy, so the woman who set it up, doesn't seem to be either. Hence the recommendation of a reframe).

DrMom

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:15 pm

Based on the limited info presented here, I wouldn't call anyone "crazy."

It's not easy upending one's home to accommodate guests, and people have to learn to be flexible.

This may not be the ideal arrangement for everyone, but maybe it's the solution that causes the smallest inconvenience overall.

If it's only for a short stay, just deal with it and enjoy being with your family.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:27 pm

amother wrote:

Because 55% of people don't want to hear a daughter refer to her mother as crazy - and seek validation of that. Kibbud Eim.

Sadly, that is the case many times.
Most people will not refer to their mothers as crazy if that wasn't the case.
I am happy if this is not your experience,
but given that situtation does sound a bit crazy, I believe she could use some validation.

amother

Teal

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:33 pm

amother wrote:

Great. I'm just defending my post -because you thought it necessary to provide narration on 'how other posters post'...

I'm totally fine with other points of view.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:43 pm

This doesn't sound crazy. It sounds clueless. So don't stay over.

You think her remodeling wasn't well thought out? I agree, but that's not a moral failing or a sign of insanity. It's just bad planning.

There are crazy mothers out there, but I don't see that the op's mother is one of them.

amother

Teal

Mon, Aug 27 2018, 11:51 pm

amother wrote:

Help me out - because I'm clueless too. Situation not ideal - but 3 adults can make this work, right? The main issue here being the potential of a man walking through the dark room of a sleeping woman (with her sister within earshot).

Metukah

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 12:42 am

Op you still haven't told us how long this stay is for.

If it's for one or two nights I'm sure most people would agree that you should stick with it and bear it out.

If it's for much longer it definitely isn't ideal or appropriate.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 2:39 am

I have a similar situation in my guest room in basement.
It was like this when we moved in so wasn’t my choice.
Practically it’s sucks for guests. We switched around the set up bc first I had the inside room for parents & the smaller kids (pack n play, junior bed) were in outside room. I also put up a room divider but every time one of the adults had to use bathroom they’d disturb anyone in outside room. Even with the switch it’s not ideal.
For a whole Yom Tov I would not think the OPs arrangement can work. It’s very awkward for both parties- 20 year old sister & married couple. I’m with u OP (although I’m not gonna say your moms crazy Wink

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 3:23 am

amother wrote:

Skipping the religious part, if I was the teen I would be scared of rape.

O. M. G.

Think your going a wee bit far now.
& opening a very large can of worms

DrMom

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 3:25 am

amother wrote:

Skipping the religious part, if I was the teen I would be scared of rape.

If you think your BIL is a **rapist**, then no sleeping arrangement that involves him being under the same roof is acceptable.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 3:26 am

Maybe sis wants to make that room into a closet.
I just moved and the master closet is so big that you can comfortably fit 2 queen beds, a night table and a dresser.

Raisin

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 4:07 am

What does your sister think of this? If I were her I would choose to go and sleep in her sisters room.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 28 2018, 5:04 am

No idea how to fix the sleeping arrangements.

I just want to validate OP. The remodel was a poor choice from an interior design point of view. Odd layouts devalue the property.

I hope you find a suitable situation!