Home

Would you let your kid's stay at a sibling's who spanks?
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Children's Health

Report offensive ad

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




Brunette


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:42 pm
Everyone in my family is super calm. I don't even know if the reason we don't yell or spank is because we think it's wrong or because it is just so opposite our nature that we cannot. My brother's wife is a very sweet woman, who is pretty calm, but she is a very strict disciplinarian. She spanks her children, not in rage, and my brother has never even yelled at a kid. My brother does not like to say no, so he'd rather ignore a situation or just say it is important to listen to mommy. His wife's discipline is pretty common where we live and she is very loving and fair. Usually when we go away, DH and I leave the kids with our live in nanny, but ATM we need to leave them with family and this brother is the easiest since he has the largest house, but I don't know if I want my kids seeing something like that, even though they see kids get petch in cheder. What's your opinion?
Back to top

thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:46 pm
I would let as long as they don't potch MY kids.
I have a relative that married into the family that spanks as well. She does it to her kids when they visit our home too. So my kids have seen it . I guess they will have one more thing to appreciate me for 😀.
Back to top

amother




Seafoam


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:47 pm
Yep, as long as she doesn't hit my child
Back to top

simba









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:50 pm
Depends on which kid. One of my children are very sensitive and it would traumatize them. They are too young for that exposure and it would be scary for them. Another of my children wouldn’t be so affected so for him, yes.
Back to top

keym









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:52 pm
I am still stuck on seeing perch in cheder.
I am not of the "never potch" camp- I've had to on occasion. But I can't wrap my head around anyone besides the parent ever hitting my child because no one except my husband loves my children as much as I do.
If potching in cheder happens, is it also normal in your community to pitch unrelated children?
Do grandparents potch? Does the man in shul potch?
I don't know. In my community no one raises their hand against anyone else's child.
But what happens in your community?
Back to top

amother




Linen


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:54 pm
I grew up in a loving home with no spanking ever. When I was 6, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's home for a few days. My aunt had a strict policy of "games stay in the playroom". My little cousin and I brought a game upstairs and my cousin got spanked for it. It's 30 years later and I still remember the panic vividly.
Back to top

zaq









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:59 pm
What thunderstorm and another sea foam said. Nobody lays a hand on my kid but my kid’s parents.
Back to top

southernbubby









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 3:06 pm
I would say that it depends on how severe the spanking is. One potch is not a beating. If the parent, however, does something that in today's world constitutes abuse, then I don't think any kid need to witness that bet it in cheder or in someone's home.
Back to top

amother




Chocolate


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 3:08 pm
The only time I give a potch is when a child does something dangerous like run into the street, touch a knife, touch the stove.....
Depends on how she spanks. Is she angry? Does she yell when she spanks? Does she hit in the face?? How often does she spank? If shes calm about it & spanks lightly, I would let my child go IF she doesnt touch my child. But if shes constantly yelling and potching for every little thing, I wouldnt send if I have a different option. I think it's not a bad idea for kids to see how other homes are run.
Back to top

amother




Brunette


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 3:43 pm
amother wrote:
I grew up in a loving home with no spanking ever. When I was 6, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's home for a few days. My aunt had a strict policy of "games stay in the playroom". My little cousin and I brought a game upstairs and my cousin got spanked for it. It's 30 years later and I still remember the panic vividly.


Right, I can relate to this which is why I may have reservations. When I was 7 I stayed at my cousin's home and my aunt (father's sister in law) was very angry at my cousins for not going to sleep. She took a belt and spanked them at least 10 times each and left the belt hanging on the door. My parents never even yelled so I was shocked, although I knew kids were spanked. I could barely fall asleep with that thing hanging on the door. My sister in law, however, does not parent this way and is also very calm so I don't think my kids would witness anything very traumatic I just don't know if I like them seeing hitting from a family member to a child whereas with a Rebbe in Cheder I feel it is different.
Back to top

amother




Brunette


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 4:10 pm
keym wrote:
I am still stuck on seeing perch in cheder.
I am not of the "never potch" camp- I've had to on occasion. But I can't wrap my head around anyone besides the parent ever hitting my child because no one except my husband loves my children as much as I do.
If potching in cheder happens, is it also normal in your community to pitch unrelated children?
Do grandparents potch? Does the man in shul potch?
I don't know. In my community no one raises their hand against anyone else's child.
But what happens in your community?


I think the norm would be only parents who choose to do so and Rebbe's in cheder. Occasionally grandparents or aunts/uncles, but I don't think that would be too common.
Back to top

Chayalle









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 6:36 pm
If I ever had to leave my children somewhere overnight, I could only leave them in a home where I felt my kids would be comfortable with the general atmosphere of the home.

It's not just the potching, OP, but if your SIL is a strict disciplinarian and you are not, it might be very difficult and uncomfortable for your child to stay there.

So no, I wouldn't. It's hard enough for kids to be away from their parents and the home they are used to, without adding a totally different type of home for them to cope with.
Back to top

groisamomma









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 7:19 pm
I would.
Back to top

imasoftov









  


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 3:57 am
No
Back to top

My4Jewels









  


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 7:23 am
I am shocked and appalled that anyone would be ok with their children seeing other children being hit. Either in a family members home or at school.

This is truly unbelievable to me. Wow.

No I would never allow my kids to sleep someplace where children get hit. I would also never allow my kids to go to a school where anyone would ever lay a hand on them.
Back to top

SuperWify









  


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 8:16 am
Which cheder still uses corporal punishment these days?!?!
Back to top

amother




Plum


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 8:30 am
I used to stay with my cousins and saw my aunt spank them occasionally. I was never spanked, so the first time I saw it, I was very surprised. I did tell my parents when I got home and they explained to me it's not something they believe in, but it's fairly common. I didn't mind going back for sleepovers, I generally enjoyed staying there and my cousins got spanked very rarely and while I did not like it, it was not deeply upsetting or scary. Much more disturbing to me was a friend of mine whose mother was a real screamer. Mother was always screaming at somebody- one of her kids, her husband, an employee over the phone. It was always deeply disturbing to me and I still remember it like yesterday.
Back to top

groovy1224









  


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:18 am
amother wrote:
Right, I can relate to this which is why I may have reservations. When I was 7 I stayed at my cousin's home and my aunt (father's sister in law) was very angry at my cousins for not going to sleep. She took a belt and spanked them at least 10 times each and left the belt hanging on the door. My parents never even yelled so I was shocked, although I knew kids were spanked. I could barely fall asleep with that thing hanging on the door. My sister in law, however, does not parent this way and is also very calm so I don't think my kids would witness anything very traumatic I just don't know if I like them seeing hitting from a family member to a child whereas with a Rebbe in Cheder I feel it is different.


What you witnessed was not spanking. Horrible.
Back to top

essie14









  


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:45 am
My4Jewels wrote:
I am shocked and appalled that anyone would be ok with their children seeing other children being hit. Either in a family members home or at school.

This is truly unbelievable to me. Wow.

No I would never allow my kids to sleep someplace where children get hit. I would also never allow my kids to go to a school where anyone would ever lay a hand on them.

This ^^
I agree 100%.
Back to top

amother




Babyblue


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 10:21 am
Really depends what you mean by “spanking”. If she just gives them a few well placed smacks on the tush (which is literal translation of spanking) then I wouldn’t get carried away. But if she slaps in the face and gets physical in other ways that is more of a beating and wouldn’t be comfortable with my kids being in that environment..

But of course- NO TOUCHING YOUR KIDS!

When we were kids we stayed by my aunt while my parents were on vacation. My brother was making trouble (nothing crazy) and my aunt put him over her lap and spanked him hard for a few minutes! He was kicking and screaming, still can’t get the scene out of my head to this day. Not that he’s grown up and married I always wonder if he still feels embarrassed when he meets this aunt today.
Back to top
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Children's Health

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Kids with LD and long division
by seeker
32 Thu, Nov 15 2018, 12:32 pm View last post
S/O of liking school... Brooklyn schools your kids love!
by amother
18 Thu, Nov 15 2018, 12:18 pm View last post
Stay With Me- New Binah serial by L Lazewnik 4 Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:43 am View last post
Place to stay in or close to manhattan
by ila
39 Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:48 pm View last post
by ila
Where to get terry bath robe (adult and kids)
by seeker
17 Wed, Nov 14 2018, 1:02 pm View last post

Jump to:  





Report offensive ad