Stupid hygiene questions

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amother

Bisque

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:03 pm

Hi y'all!

I'm not a first time mom, have a few kids of various ages so I am downright embarrassed to be posting this.... not sure if I'm add or just reallllllly slow. Way too embarrassed to ask anybody I know irl. Please don't call bash me, I'm honestly trying to get better at this, it just really doesn't come naturally to me!!

When do you brush your girls hair? My current system involves running around chasing kids with a hairbrush whenever I happen to notice that somebody has messy hair. Morning is so crazy, they won't brush unless I actively remind them, and half the time it gets forgotten.

Same with cutting nails. Friday is always SOOOOO nuts in my house, I will sometimes run around again chasing down children to cut their nails but I feel like I am seriously doing something wrong, and also several kids make it into a whole power struggle which I have no patience for when the soup is overflowing and the cake is burning. I heard that in halacha you're not supposed to cut nails at night and that you're supposed to do it on Friday.

How often do you change diapers? My toddler is super-helpful and lets me know that the diaper is wet or dirty (yes we started trying to toilet train but no luck yet) so those don't usually sit for too long. Other times it's "when I notice" "when I think of it" or specific times like before bed and right after waking up. Or, worse, after an explosion, but thankfully that's not too often.

What time of day do you do baths? And what do your other kids do while you're giving them? Before supper seems like a bad idea, cuz my kids are not the neatest eaters, but after supper is the evening rush time, and giving a bath takes up all of my attention and usually I come out of the bathroom drained emotionally and wet physically, and the kids have taken advantage of my focused bathing time to create other kinds of chaos. Morning (on non-school days) is also usually a bad idea, because my kids have already gotten dressed most times and don't want to put on the same clothes, and I don't want to wash an extra set for no reason.

How often do you cut your boys or girls hair? I do it again "when I notice" but I feel like there should be some sort of logical number or system for this.

Do people buy new tights every time one gets a tiny hole? My girls all wear tights all the time and I never quite know if I'm supposed to be replacing them much more often. I feel a little guilty that they are wearing holey tights but I can't afford new pairs every other week!!

My kids put their PJs in the laundry every morning. It's starting to dawn on me that that might be overkill, should I tell them to wear the same PJs more than once before washing?

Thanks for your forbearance in helping out a mom who really does not look frazzled when you meet her but is wondering why this seems so hard for her and effortless for everyone else!!!

ETA: Oh and I may remember some other questions later!!!

amother

Lilac

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:14 pm

amother wrote:

Brushing girls hair (unless it's a texture that requires special care) is part of the morning routine. If they won't do it on their own, you should brush it for them once they're dressed. It doesn't take long, it should be considered as normal as putting on shoes.

Yes it's better to cut nails on Fri, but I cut myself slack for dealing with young kids and have established a Sunday routine. Sundays in my home tend to be calmer than other days. Never heard not to cut at night, find out about that.

Showers/ baths happen daily after dinner. Kids 5 and under get a bath, everyone older is taught to shower independently. I do need to remind them to go in. Baths don't have to be a huge affair, they can be five minutes each. Maybe you can move some of the other rush activities (homework?) to before dinner? If you're home with little ones earlier in the day, it probably makes sense to bathe them then.

Kids hair grows at different rates. As long as you catch it once they start looking overgrown, you don't need a set rule.

I would not put any clothing on my kids with visible holes. If the hole is in the thigh area, no big deal. If tights are ripping at home, have them take them off when they get home from school.

PJs are worn for two nights in my home, but that's assuming the child is freshly bathed each night. If not, change daily.

exhausted

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:24 pm

Can you bathe more than one child at a time? I do cut nails at night, right after bath when the nails are soft, just not Wednesday night through Thursday Shkia, has to do with the nails starting to grow on the third day which would be Friday night/Shabbos.

Frumwithallergies

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:30 pm

There are no stupid questions. Only stupid answers.

My kids wear their pj's for between 2-3 nights before washing.

Brushing is an issue for my dd too. I threaten to cut hair short if they don't brush regularly. As of age 4-5 kids can brush their hair. I find that a leave-in conditioner after the shower (and yes, older kids can shower on their own) and then I braid their hair at night. Hair trimming for girls can be every 3-6 months. Nails can be trimmed every 1-3 weeks, depending on each child.

Hatzlocho!

Tzutzie

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:33 pm

Hair is brushed in the morning together with teeth and bathroom if they hadn't gone yet. And I also brush after a bath. If during the day you see your kids hair very messy, you can fix it up. Like when you wash their hands when they come home from school you can fix their hair.

Nails are aprox once a week. I usually don't remember on friday. So I end up cutting it on Sunday or Monday. 1.5 weeks is the max I think that you could go before it's gross.

Bath is every night in the summer. Spring and fall as needed. 3+ times a week.
Winter is 3x a week. Thursday/Friday, Sunday and Tuesday.
I put on clean pj's after every bath.
My kid that still wears pull ups sometimes needs a fresh set every night. And I wipe her down every morning.

Bathing, kids 6+ can do it independently. Might need some help with rinsing hair.
Kids younger, can be bathed in under 5 minutes. Run a bath. Let them undress themselves. Toilet. Then they go in, wet themsleves you soap them down, rinse off. Out!
Wrapped in a cozy towel they can dry off and dress on their own in their rooms. (Depending on the age) then hair and teeth.

Bathing is after supper. I don't like kids eating in pjs. Then they beds and bedrooms get all dirty and crumby.
But sometimes when things are running later and it's crazy, it is what it is. Nisht geferlich.

Give your other kids a specific chore for those few minutes so they are occupied instead of wreaking the place.

bbhem5

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:34 pm

Diapering: unless dirty, which of course gets changed immediately, diapers get changed every 3 hours during the day and, as you wrote, immediately upon waking and right before going to bed. An infant that gets up to nurse during the night gets changed then too.

Tzutzie

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:38 pm

Hair depends on the child's hairstyle and how fast it grows.
For example. One of my kids needs a trim every half a year or less. My other has straight bangs. China doll (or a "ches") style hair and her hair grows so fast. Her bangs need to be cut every three weeks. I call it 'mowing' cuz it grows almost as fast as grass. The rest of the hair can go about 2 months as it doesn't get in her eyes. (Good thing I took a hair cutting course as a teen!!!)

So depends. As long as the kid looks neat it's ok.

amother

Denim

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:39 pm

It's not silly questions, and You run a 'Normal' household.
Good Idea: If you have to run after your kids to cut nails/hair/taking baths, try to create an overall routine. Let your kids know when it will be done weekly or discuss with them (if they're mature anough) when would be a good time for them to do it.

I like to bath the young kids either before going to bed so they're fresh and will sleep calmer. If I'm too exhausted or no time, I'll bath in the morning before getting dressed.
(I like to put them to bed early and they wake up early am so it's more convenient to bath morning. The older kids like to bath in the morning as well.
Pjs need to be washed when it seems to be dirty or soiled.
I would not put on tights or pants that have a hole. I don't like that my kids look like a shloch (makes us look poor). Unless it's a home day- (no school, staying home for the day).
Hatzlacha

flowerpower

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:43 pm

Every morning after they’re dressed they have to brush their hair. For ages 9 and under I brush their hair/ make a hairstyle. My 7 year old screams each morning when I brush it. I make the brush a little wet before brushing hair. We also brush hair well after baths.

Nail cutting is Friday after baths.

Baths are after supper and homework.

amother

Lilac

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:43 pm

Frumwithallergies wrote:

I'm not doubting you if you have a child whose nails grow slowly, but I think op should be aware that the norm is to need nail trimming weekly. It's incredibly unhygienic to have long nails, plus kids can scratch accidentally and it just looks unkempt.

amother

Navy

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:44 pm

amother wrote:

Hi y'all!

I'm not a first time mom, have a few kids of various ages so I am downright embarrassed to be posting this.... not sure if I'm add or just reallllllly slow. Way too embarrassed to ask anybody I know irl. Please don't call bash me, I'm honestly trying to get better at this, it just really doesn't come naturally to me!!

When do you brush your girls hair? My current system involves running around chasing kids with a hairbrush whenever I happen to notice that somebody has messy hair. Morning is so crazy, they won't brush unless I actively remind them, and half the time it gets forgotten.

I have one DD age 6. I brush it in the morning before she leaves to school. I brush it out well after a bath and it's super easy to put in a pony (or wtve she wants) each morning.

Same with cutting nails. Friday is always SOOOOO nuts in my house, I will sometimes run around again chasing down children to cut their nails but I feel like I am seriously doing something wrong, and also several kids make it into a whole power struggle which I have no patience for when the soup is overflowing and the cake is burning. I heard that in halacha you're not supposed to cut nails at night and that you're supposed to do it on Friday.

Never heard of at night. Either dh or I cut them when we see they are long.

How often do you change diapers? My toddler is super-helpful and lets me know that the diaper is wet or dirty (yes we started trying to toilet train but no luck yet) so those don't usually sit for too long. Other times it's "when I notice" "when I think of it" or specific times like before bed and right after waking up. Or, worse, after an explosion, but thankfully that's not too often.

When they get up and go to bed. I check throughout the day and change as needed. ETA obviously if it's number two it is changed immediately. Just wet if it's not super puffy I will wait till I have a minute to do it.

What time of day do you do baths? And what do your other kids do while you're giving them? Before supper seems like a bad idea, cuz my kids are not the neatest eaters, but after supper is the evening rush time, and giving a bath takes up all of my attention and usually I come out of the bathroom drained emotionally and wet physically, and the kids have taken advantage of my focused bathing time to create other kinds of chaos. Morning (on non-school days) is also usually a bad idea, because my kids have already gotten dressed most times and don't want to put on the same clothes, and I don't want to wash an extra set for no reason.

I do baths about three times a week and do it usually right after supper. And on Friday afternoons.

How often do you cut your boys or girls hair? I do it again "when I notice" but I feel like there should be some sort of logical number or system for this.

Girl I just gave first haircut last week at 6 yrs old. But if you give regular haircuts as a girl I got before
summer and once in winter. Boy whenever I see it's long dh takes him.

Do people buy new tights every time one gets a tiny hole? My girls all wear tights all the time and I never quite know if I'm supposed to be replacing them much more often. I feel a little guilty that they are wearing holey tights but I can't afford new pairs every other week!!

I throw out when they get holey in visible places. Also when the holes are by the toes since that is really uncomfortable. At the end of season I throw out anything with even a slight hole.

My kids put their PJs in the laundry every morning. It's starting to dawn on me that that might be overkill, should I tell them to wear the same PJs more than once before washing?

I have them wear it usually twice but no real rule.

Thanks for your forbearance in helping out a mom who really does not look frazzled when you meet her but is wondering why this seems so hard for her and effortless for everyone else!!!

ETA: Oh and I may remember some other questions later!!!

oneofakind

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 10:59 pm

If you have time or a bored grandmother, thick tights with holes by the toes or crotch can be sewn (make sure seams are on the outside so they don't chafe) If you see a small hole, put a little clear or same color nail polish on it so it doesn't get bigger.
If you make a routine for things it's a lot easier and the kids don't fight it so much. Nail cutting on hands must be done weekly. Germs accumulate under the long nails. Bathing kids in the same water or the same time is a bad idea, they catch pin worms and sicknesses from each other.
Encourage showers as early as possible-5 and up. It's faster, easier, cleaner, encourages independence, and it's easier to rinse hair that way.
It's great that you're asking...we are always at your service. Very Happy

Rappel

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 11:12 pm

I have only 2 kids, both very young. Here's what works for us:

Brush: in the morning, after getting dressed, before school.

Nails: whenever I notice they're long.

Diaper: if it's #2, immediately. If it's #1, only when it's super poofy. They always get a fresh diaper before bedtime.

Baths: at the end of the day, just before PJ's and bed. We usually do it every day, but right now it's freezing in our house, so I bathe them whenever Abba is home to take charge and dress the newly-bathed right away.

We re-wear PJ's until they are actually dirty, or until a week goes by. We fold them and leave them on their beds in the morning.

SuperWify

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 11:18 pm

Regarding the toddler-

Diaper should be changed as soon as s/he wakes up and as needed. You can also make a practice of changing right before or after a nap before dinner, before leaving the house ect. this way you won’t forget.

Your toddlers nails are most likely to be easily peeled off if s/he gives you difficulty using a nail cutter- as mine does.

I change his pjs every night because while still in diapers he inevitably smells suspicious very morning. but pretty much once their toilet changed you can do every other night.

emg33

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 12:27 am

My kids know (2 little ones: 2 and 5) what the daily routine is:

Morning is brush teeth and hopefully brush hair before heading to school, but hair doesn't always get done.

I bathe my kids every night (unless I or they are too tired, then I give them the option to skip the bath which they almost always take) right after dinner. They are in new pjs every night, but my 2 yo is particular about what she likes to wear to sleep (she's in a big nightgown stage) so I end up doing their laundry twice a week so she has enough "acceptable" pjs.

Every Thursday is mani/pedi day in our house and my kids know that we cut our finger- and toenails for Shabbos. That way no one has to rush around on Friday to make sure they're ready for Shabbos.

I only cut my kids' hair when it really becomes necessary - this might only be twice a year, depending on the style they have from the last cut.

I change my 2 yo's dirty diapers when I smell it, usually out of fear that if I don't change it fast enough she will somehow squish it out of her diaper and create a big mess. For a wet diaper, unless she asks for a new diaper I'll leave her a few hours until it's convenient for me.

salt

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 1:55 am

I would just say, regarding tights, that in my experience, thick expensive tights do not necessarily last longer tha thin cheap ones. They may be slightly warmer I suppose.
But they don't get holes in less easily. So you're better off buying the cheaper packs of 4 thin tights, than separate expensive thick tights.

salt

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 1:56 am

emg33 wrote:

I only cut my kids' hair when it really becomes necessary - this might only be twice a year, depending on the style they have from the last cut.

Do you have boys?

Amelia Bedelia

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 2:10 am

I usually bathe every other night, and Friday mornings before school on short Fridays/Friday afternoon on longer Fridays. I don't like morning baths otherwise, because the bathroom is needed by others in the morning, for various reasons, e.g. hairbrushes are stored in the bathroom, mirror, clothes hamper, toilet, etc.

There is an inyan to cut nails on Fridays, but I don't like cutting every week. I find that they don't grow as quickly if they're not cut as often, and they're too short to cut weekly. My fingernails gets cut twice a month, including before mikvah.

Iymnok

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 2:15 am

If they have wavy or straight hair, comb it into a ponytail after the bath and make it tight. This makes redoing the pony way easier.
If your kids hate nail cutting, give them chocolate chip per nail cut.
Toenails grow slower, have the kid lay down with a book with their feet on your lap. Reward withsparkly nail polish for girls.

Holes in tights that are out of sight and don’t bother the girl are fine. DD3 counts her holes!

I have a hard time with baths. So I do 3/week min. My older girls get to shower on Friday in my bathroom if they’ve showered themselves twice during the week.

Dirty diapers get changed ASAP. I check every few hours. Also changesit when dressing in the morning and pj's at night. Try for a midday change as well. If the diapers are not very wet during the day, give more to drink!

Wear pj's 2-3 nights. Except for accidents.

dankbar

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 2:17 am

My kids change pjs every day as they wear diapers at night.
Finger nails get cut every Friday after bath.
Hair gets brushed every morning after being dressed & after baths.
If tights gets holes where it's not visible you can maybe sew together the hole. ( check if they're not too small, if they keep tearing)

By us daddy's job is nail cutting so makes it easier.
To make hairbrushing easier, you can use a spray bottle with water & shpritz on hair so it doesn't hurt.

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