Who were YOU in highschool???

amother

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 7:42 pm

Where were you in the social pecking order? Queen Bee, leader, nerd, boring fitter-inner, eccentric, creative/artsy, popular, outcast, trend setter, follower, do-gooder, introvert, academic, politically savvy, smart kid, etc...tell who you were, how that impacted who you became/choices made as an adult, what type of school you went to (BY, modern Orthodox, public school, etc), stories....

amother

Maroon

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 7:46 pm

I was definitely a leader. I also didn't really fit in with my classmates. My family was a bit more to the right. That was tough sometimes but I really enjoyed school for the most part. I don't feel it largely impacted my current life but who knows...

applesbananas

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 7:59 pm

I was immature. Didnt have any friends in 9th and 10th grades. By 11th and 12th I made a small group of a bunch of outcasts. We were happy to have each others company but we didnt have much in common with one another. After high school I got a job in a hair salon and I started offering haircuts and blow drys at home at night. My cut became super popular and my high school class Messed to me. I remember still having insecurities and never feeling like I quite fit in. I wondered then if thats how the popular girls in high school felt. Maybe it seemed on the others that they had it all but inside they still felt insecure...

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You know, it is possible to be more than just one stereotype. Did you even see the Breakfast Club before embarking on your research? I was a tarty sl*t in heels but I was also a “smart kid” and have two advanced degrees in addition to my Bachelors. I went to a mixed gender school so obviously that was my downfall. 🙄 I guess the only impact it has has on my adult life is I no longer feel the need to wear loads of make-up and heels. I still am a bit of a sl*t but only my DH gets to see that side of me now. So put that in your research pipe and smoke it. 😀

Just know OP, you do not have permission to quote any of my posts on here. And one of my degrees is in law so I have contacts should you even think of quoting me. 😁 Disclaimer, that last sentence was obviously a joke and not a real threat. Just don’t quote me on that or anything else.

amother

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:14 pm

Nope, not research, just genuine curiosity. I have started thinking about how highschool still haunts me (wired, because I'm in my forties), and I wondered if others felt the same, and just wondering about perspectives from all sorts of girls.... I definitely had a place of leadership and social standing, but not for qualities like cool, popular, fitting in, etc. I didn't like who I was, and I still ah e some residual shame factor, and dislike meeting women from highschool except close friends. I find this curious about myself, as outwardly I am now exactly who I wanted to be in highschool, but there's still.an insecure teen who pops out sometimes, especially around d teachers and peers from my past...

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Be thankful you are in your 40s and can remember what you did so long ago. Some people barely remember what they had for breakfast at that age! I am nearly 50 before people start on me for alleged ageism.

I am sure someone less sarcastic than me will point you in the direction of “trauma therapy” to work through your High School years. Personally, I recommend watching Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion instead. Very therapeutic. Accurate except for the fact that it was I who invented the Post-It Note. Obviously. 🙄

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:20 pm

I had no friends. Was always alone. Didn't know how to socialize with others although I was so desperate for friends .I was self-conscious to be all by myself during every activity that I usually tried to sneak away. Probably seemed like the biggest snob. Didn't have basic higine. Barely managed to pass most classes.

Got married, went through a bunch if years of therapy, became more self confident and while now I'm not the most outgoing one out there Im pretty friendly and have a nice amount of friends. I went to collage and graduated with As. I'm now 35, happily married with 5 adorable kids and have a job I love. The way I was in highschool still slightly effects me - it's hard for me to hear about others peoples great experiences or me to talk about mine. When I see old classmates I have a hard time not reverting back to how I used to be when I'm with them.

Kiwi13

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:22 pm

I hated high school. I was socially clueless and honestly by 9th grade I didn't even care because I was just dealing with so much back then. High school was a relay race of survival for me. B"H I made it out fine. I'm in my 30s and you couldn't pay me enough to relive those years. Nope, nope, nope. I will say though, my friends were good friends (and they came from all across the different "groups," although not really the popular kids) and the people I was actually close with are still my friends today. I was a good hearted, sincere (misunderstood) kid with a lot of her plate. I went to 2 high schools because I was expelled from my Jewish day school halfway through 9th grade. Here's to not every runaway train ending in a crash Cheers

... I made my own track.

High school isn't forever. That's my best advice to teens.

Edited for typos

Last edited by Kiwi13 on Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:25 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:24 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

I hated high school. I was socially clueless and honestly by 9th grade I didn't even care because I was just dealing with so much back then. High school was a relay race in survival for me. B"H I made it out fine. I'm in my 30s and you couldn't pay me enough to relive those years. Nope, nope, nope. I will say though, my friends were good friends (and they came from all across the different "groups," although not really the popular kids) and the people I was actually close with are still my friends today. I was a good hearted, sincere (misunderstood) kid with a lot of her plate. I went to 2 high schools because I was expelled from my Jewish day school halfway through 9th grade. Here's to not every train wreck ending in a crash Cheers

... I made my own track.

High school isn't forever. That's my best advice to teens.

You were expelled!? How cool! May I know what you did?!

Kiwi13

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:29 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

You were expelled!? How cool! May I know what you did?!

Haha, it's not a cool story, unfortunately. I was very troubled and considered a liability, I guess. I was emotionally unstable, eating disorder, suicidal, not going to class because I was sleeping behind the lockers, etc.... the works. The school said they couldn't handle my needs (and they were right). The situation was terribly mishandled by pretty much everybody involved. Really, REALLY mishandled. My class had some major problems in it, and I don't think the school knew how to deal with any of it.

Kiwi13

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:34 pm

My one sort-of shining moment at the public school was that I made the cheerleading team for JV football, but I had to quit before the season started because they played on Shabbos. So I guess here's to not every cheerleader being cool, either. Haha, high school.... -long sigh-

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:36 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

That is a really horrible sorry. Terrible of the school to reject a suicidal child! I agree it sounds totally mishandled. I hope the school has been shut down or improved now. And glad you didn’t go through with the suicide. 🙂

amother

Slategray

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:37 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

You could always dress as a cheerleader or even a Zombie Cheerleader (cool costume) next Purim.

Kiwi13

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:42 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

The school is completely different now - new administration, teachers, building, you name it, nothing is the same anymore. I have no clue what it's like there now because I don't live in the same town anymore. To be completely honest, I was relieved when I got expelled. For me, the heartbreak was when the other Jewish school I interviewed at said no, which sealed my fate of going to public school. I didn't want to go to public school, but the truth is it ended up being good in a bunch of ways. I wasn't actively planning suicide, chas v'shalom, but there were moments when impulse could have taken over. I was in a nosedive kind of situation. It's crazy to think back to how things were. It makes me that much more grateful for where I am now. B"H.

Kiwi13

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:45 pm

amother [ Slategray ] wrote:

You could always dress as a cheerleader or even a Zombie Cheerleader (cool costume) next Purim.

Ha! I actually bought a cheerleading jacket AFTER I quit the team, because I enjoyed it so much and it felt like such an accomplishment! (It was. I worked hard!) Cheerleading was a happy thing for me. It's a shame I couldn't continue.

I wasn't raised with tznius, but I was kind of hurt that when I interviewed at the other school they turned me down. I was thinking, "I even wore my tzniusest skirt for this!"

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:46 pm

I teach high school.

In a little corner of my heart, I have pity on every single one of my students asthey muddle through these difficult years.

Even the popular successful girls are dealing with stuff. I have no doubt about this.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Jun 03 2019, 8:46 pm

I was a super nerdy egghead with no clue I was attractive. Somewhere along the way, I morphed into a pretty girl with a cute figure. I went to public school and was more interested in competitive academics than being popular.

I caught the eye of the BMOC, and suddenly I was super popular. My new friends told me I was dressing wrong and wore the wrong shade of nail polish among my other fashion crimes.

This was my first princess lesson that who is attracted to a female is more important than who a female is.