Very nervous | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:54 pm

I am traveling iy'h next week overseas, to a family simcha, most of my kids are in camp, I decided without choice, to leave my 2 yr toddler by a babysitter, but I am very very nervous,

he is not easy going, he cries a lot especially during night time etc., he gets scared when he sees other pupil, I feel so sorry for him, I am afraid I won't enjoy the simcha, what's your experience? should I call the babysitter from overseas everyday asking how he is doing or just wait until I come back?

Wife1

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:59 pm

Do NOT call often as if he isn't doing well there is nothing you can do and it will just make you upset

ectomorph

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 7:59 pm

Honestly though I have seen toddlers never forgive their mothers for this. It sounds like it could worsen the attachment problems. Think about whether it's really worth it

trixx

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:03 pm

I wouldn't leave my 2y old unless it was by grandparents with a dedicated single aunt/uncle to watch and even then I wouldn't do more than 3 nights max.

amother

Gold

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:05 pm

Is there a reason you can't change your plans and either bring him along or stay home? This doesn't sound very healthy.

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:05 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

What do you mean you decided without choice?

All of my family are traveling, so the only option is a babysitter

dankbar

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:07 pm

to hear that hes doing just fine & you can relax & enjoy your simcha

Dont tell babysitter in advance that hes difficult because she miht not accept him or charge you more.

Kids adjust easily, it seems like you have the bigger problem. If you are going to keep feeling guilty & have rachmanos on him, he will feel it & wont be able to let go & get over it. Kids usually first day can still cry, asking for mommy but then they get used to that this is their new mommy for now.

He might be angry at you, the first half hour after you pick him up

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:08 pm

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

Is there a reason you can't change your plans and either bring him along or stay home? This doesn't sound very healthy.

its my brother marrying his son, should I stay home?

amother

Denim

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Leaving a two year old by a stranger for several days sounds completely beyond insane to me. And completely traumatic for him. I would only leave my toddler by his grandparents or very close aunt. No one else.

amother

Gold

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

its my brother marrying his son, should I stay home?

If you can't take the two year old, sure, stay home.

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:10 pm

dankbar wrote:

Many Thanks

Rappel

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:11 pm

Why aren't you bringing him with you?

Personal story: when my grandfather came home from WW2, my uncle was 2 years old, precocious, intelligent, and speaking clear, full sentences. My grandparents took an 11 day vacation together to reacquaint themselves, and left my uncle with my great-grandparents. When they came home, he was silent. He didn't speak another word until he was 4.

amother

Denim

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:12 pm

dankbar wrote:

Omg seriously?? This is so sad

Stars

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:13 pm

dankbar wrote:

Dont tell babysitter in advance that hes difficult because she miht not accept him or charge you more.

Agree that most kids adjust easily but PLEASE don't do this.

Rappel

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

its my brother marrying his son, should I stay home?

You should bring him with you, or stay home.

dankbar

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:20 pm

How many babies go daily to babysitters from when they are born? Many 2 year olds are officially in playgroup at this age. The more they go out, the less they are afraid. Kids that are always home with mommy & never go away have a harder time detaching from mom

Last edited by dankbar on Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Orange

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 8:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

its my brother marrying his son, should I stay home?

I would.
Or bring two year old with me.