Is this appropriate?

amother

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:17 pm

If you meet someone socially, and she happens to be a doctor, is it appropriate for her to introduce herself as Dr. Smith?

I work in a non-medical or health care field, nothing at all related to health care. Occasionally, a client's relative will contact me and introduce themselves as Dr. So and so.

Or let's say you're a teacher. Should a parent call you and say, This is Dr. Smith? When the reason for the phone call is about Dr. Smith's child who is in your class.

Imo, if the reason that this person is contacting me has nothing to do with the fact he or she is a doctor, then don't introduce yourself that way. Am I wrong?

amother

Violet

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You're wrong.

If I am a person who anticipates that you will refer to me by title, then "Dr." is completely accurate. Because that's how I should be addressed, not "Ms."

Ie -- "Hi, Ms. Almoni. This is Dr. Ploni. I'm calling about my daughter, Sara Ploni, who is in your 5th grade class this year."

(Alas, I have a lowly masters, no doctorate.)

amother

Khaki

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:36 pm

No. This person either thinks highly of herself or has a stick up her b*tt (or both) I do work in a medical field and hardly anyone (even in the professional setting) would introduce herself that way

amother

Plum

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:43 pm

This reminds me of, I met a schoolmate younger than me, at an event hosted by my daughter's school. I asked her if she is so & so, referring to her first name, as I knew her while growing up. She corrected me & says I am Mrs. so & so. Turns out she is the principal of the older grades

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:48 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

No. This person either thinks highly of herself or has a stick up her b*tt (or both) I do work in a medical field and hardly anyone (even in the professional setting) would introduce herself that way

Or worked hard to earn that title & is proud of his/her efforts.

If you're a Mrs., don't you want to be called by that title, instead of a generic Ms.?

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:50 pm

I don't think either one is right or wrong.

But just as an example, if I were to send an invitation to someone who is a doctor, I would write "Dr." on the invitation. That has nothing to do with why I am inviting them.

I write "Rabbi" on invitations to people who happen to have smicha but don't practice rabbanus in any way.

These are titles that kind of stick universally, even outside the context of work.

cnc

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:51 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

I agree. I have a number of relatives that are doctors. When I send them mail (wedding invitations etc) , they are addressed to Dr. and Mrs. X or Dr. and Dr. Y...

EPL

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:57 pm

My son and daughter-in-law are both doctors, and they never introduce themselves as Doctors. As a matter of fact, their housekeeper/nanny calls them by their first names, which surprised me. They think it would be weird for her to call them Doctor.

amother

Khaki

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:58 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Or worked hard to earn that title & is proud of his/her efforts.

If you're a Mrs., don't you want to be called by that title, instead of a generic Ms.?

Nope. I happened to be married but I go by Ms. Proudly. (Marriage isn’t an accomplishment. Despite my years of dating. It’s a Gds blessing and I’m grateful but I didn’t earn it)

amother

Coffee

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:59 pm

My father is very involved in a yeshiva in Israel. He gets a lot of phone calls from rabbanim and they never introduce themselves as Rabbi So and So. I wish they would though. When I was still living at home I would give my father messages like Shmuel Braun called and my father would respond, "You mean Rabbi Braun?" Well, how was I supposed to know?!

If someone is traditionally addressed by a title then I would like to know so I don't make a mistake when talking to them.

OP, out of curiosity, would you have the same issue with a man calling himself doctor or would you not even think twice?

amother

Violet

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:01 pm

EPL wrote:

So, if someone were to use a title for your daughter, she would prefer Mrs. EPL to Dr. EPL?

(And it would be weird for their nanny to use a title in referring to them.)

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:01 pm

EPL wrote:

I think we need to view the situational context of it. If it's a social setting and everyone is introducing themselves on a first name basis, then using Dr. can be out of place. But if the term Mrs, Ms, Miss or Mr. is applicable, then Dr is an equivalent usage.

gamanit

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:04 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Or worked hard to earn that title & is proud of his/her efforts.

If you're a Mrs., don't you want to be called by that title, instead of a generic Ms.?

It's their choice but personally I use "Ms" I prefer generic Smile

Squishy

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:08 pm

It's pretentious to introduce yourself as Mrs. Squishy in secular society. In frum society with its frum rules, Mrs. Squishy is normal. I have friends for a decade who call me Mrs. Squishy. They also call me Mrs. my husband's first name

If you are a physician, then it is perfectly acceptable to introduce yourself a Dr. Squishy (I wish).

amother

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:08 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Or worked hard to earn that title & is proud of his/her efforts.

If your a Mrs., don't you want to be called by that title, instead of a generic Ms.?

OP here. It felt a little jarring since this person was asking for my assistance, in my professional capacity, for help with a relative of hers. Her message said, This is Dr. Smith. Please cal me back.
And my first thought was. I don't remember being a patient of anyone named Dr. Smith, and why is she calling me at work??

For those mentioning how you address someone on invitations, I think there's a difference between wishing to give someone else an honorary title and someone giving it to himself.

amother

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:14 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

To answer your question, absolutely yes I had the same issue with a male when it happened in the past. I was genuinely confused. I appreciate the responses and I think posters are right that it depends on context.

OOTforlife

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:18 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

I agree 100% with this amother.

cnc

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:21 pm

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

This
Well said

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 2:22 pm

How is it different from calling a Rabbi, Rabbi. I work in a dialysis clinic. One of my patients is a rabbi. I would never dream of calling him David, but rather I always address him as Rabbi Cohen. (Made up name. I did not to violate HIPPA). Rebbitzen Schwartz, is called Rebbitzen Schwartz or Rebbitzen, I would never call her Sarah. Even though neither of them is from my community, been my child's teacher, or have I ever asked them for either etza or a shailah. They have earned a title of respect. The doctor, put in a tremendous amount of work,very much so has a lot to be proud of, and deserves that respect as well.