Are you social distancing from DH?

amother

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:02 pm

I am not really asking people in dysfunctional marriages. I hope you are all doing ok and able to use this excuse to distance as you need. (I tried to add to the poll but too late...)

However, for those with a normal marriage, whose DH goes out (shopping, minyan, work) or practices less precautions than you do, and, I suppose, if you are older or have health issues, are you keeping to separate rooms if you are able?

I am starting to feel like maybe I'm being OCD already.

Dh was officially diagnosed & recovered. However doctors are saying they don't really know that people are no longer contagious. Nor do I know if I didn't catch it from him because I was cautious, because I took my immune supplements, or I did have a mild case & didn't even realize.

banana123

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:05 pm

No. I don't see it as feasible. We have little kids and there is no real point in SD between the two of us if we both are taking care of the kids.

We are strict about all the rules but the laws relate to each household as a unit and I think that's the only way to do this, practically speaking.

I salute anyone who is managing to SD within their home. I think Bibi is. But he doesn't have little kids...

banana123

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:09 pm

Elfrida wrote:

His home is also rather more generous than the average Israeli apartment.

Perhaps true, but he can also sit on the couch and have someone sit 2 meters away from him.

If DH or I sit on the couch, someone will climb on our laps. I don't think Bibi has that issue.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:28 pm

Whaaaa???
We're both over 50.
We're both working from home, he in his "office" and I in mine. For professional, not SD, reasons. I pop in to his office from time to time.
He goes out for a daily walk and sometimes picks things up at the store. I go grocery shopping once or twice a week.
B"H neither of us is symptomatic.
I haven't checked to see how he washes hands.
We both wear masks when we go out. He wears his and I wear mine. Some things you don't share no matter how in love you are.
We sleep in the same room, breathe the same air, use the same (and only) bathroom. Why would I practice social distancing?
If he were a 'front-line' worker, my answer might be different. I might insist he bag his clothes in the entryway and take a shower before doing or touching anything else. Maybe, I don't know. If he were a hospital worker, I think I would for sure.
If he or I were symptomatic, then yes, I'd avoid the obvious things like kissing. Some things you try not to share because you love. But TBH I don't see how distancing within the same household can really work. A person can be infectious and asymptomatic, and you really can't go on indefinitely treating each other like lepers.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:33 pm

What???

Nowhere I have seen the recommendation that immediate family members whonlive together distance from each other (unless one is confirmed positive and even then it’s not always feasible based on home size)

No. We live together. We are married.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:50 pm

My husband is a doctor he caught caronavirus at work we had a false alarm first for a week then he caught it
Then my daughter caught it they stayed in their own rooms and used their own bathrooms thank g-d I didn’t catch it

sequoia

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:51 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Yep, he's in London, and I'm in Israel! LOL

(I have my gett, but we're still civilly married.)

Best social distancing, EVER! Very Happy

I don’t think you should stay legally married to him.

It is false in that case to say you’re divorced.

amother

Denim

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 3:57 pm

No. We’re both in healthcare and both at risk of getting it from an outside source, so may not be a terrible idea, but still no. Can’t really make it work and we’re not planning to send the kids off anyway and they would just pass it between us.

amother

Green

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 4:59 pm

No. It's unrealistic. We have young kids. We're six people in a small Israeli apartment. We're a family. Our kids need both their parents. It just wouldn't work. DH is in healthcare so it can be risky, but he takes every precaution he can (always wearing his PPE at work, changing clothes when he comes home, no physical contact with anyone till he's cleaned up and changed, etc.) He did have one knows exposure and had to go into complete quarantine for 12 days, but it was so impossible. I had to sleep on the couch. I was going crazy. I guess we'd do it again if necessary, but it's just not a realistic option for day to day life.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Apr 28 2020, 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Salmon

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:29 pm

Yes. I am in healthcare. I live in the basement.
I have not touched anyone since Purim. He snuggles the children. They (DH and teens) make all the food, cleaned and kashred the kitchen for Pesach.....
I call them before I get home and they evacuate the first floor entry area, and I go right down to the basement and shower immediately. They put food at the top of the basement steps and after they walk away I go up to get it.

We sit at the basement steps me on the bottom and DH or DCs at the top and sometimes eat there. We sometimes go for walks, 6-10 feet apart, and we text/talk on the phone.

In case you this is crazy and I am OCD, 90% of my coworker's do the same.

I am not advocating this as a general precaution, DCs and DH don't SD, but I do this as a healthcare worker.

amother

Purple

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:31 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Yep, he's in London, and I'm in Israel! LOL

(I have my gett, but we're still civilly married.)

Best social distancing, EVER! Very Happy

Curious, why no civil divorce? 🤔

Where in London is he or is that private?

amother

Cerise

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:34 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

I’m a healthcare worker too. None of my coworkers do his. Then again we all live in manhattan apartments where this isn’t possible. But no way would I not touch my kids for 2 months. Even 2 days is too many for my child’s mental health. But kol hakavod to you for doing what you think is necessary

amother

cornflower

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 6:32 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

We do something like this upon dr's advice. We wear face masks when closer than 6ft. We don't sleep in the same bedroom and live on different floors of the house. I don't find this easy. Is it hard for you? Or you know it's the right thing to do, so it is not so hard? How long have you been living like this?

Hashem should keep you and your family safe.