How Are We Spending The Month Of June

amother

Gray

Tue, May 26 2020, 5:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yup. My mom always says they had no daycamps in her days and her summers were always the opposite of boring. I guess we’re spoiled and just used to having a few hours break every day.
But saying that people are starving in Africa wont help when we don’t like dinner.
I know it’s not a tzara to have healthy kids home and bored. I KNOW IT ALL BUT WILL YOU KINDLY REOPEN THE SCHOOLS? Banging head

Keep in mind: I’m stuck in my house now with few options. It’s different then giving children endless time to frolic outside in nature

amother

Tue, May 26 2020, 5:35 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Keep in mind: I’m stuck in my house now with few options. It’s different then giving children endless time to frolic outside in nature

No endless frolicking here, I can’t leave mine unsupervised so sitting in front of the house with them isn’t that different than at home. You can probably do the same. I do allow them to mingle with neighbors who are outside too. It’s still under my constant watch.

amother

Aqua

Tue, May 26 2020, 5:43 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Did you ever wonder what people did 50 or 100 years ago? People often had large families. There were pioneers who went West and lived miles and miles from anyone (Little House on the Prairie). There were no electronics, no trampolines, rarely did anyone but the 1% afford cleaning help or nannies.

Yet somehow, people survived.

It's a fact that kids will whine when they are bored. It's also a fact that a child cannot be bored for more than 5 minutes, 10 at the most, before they will find something to do on their own. Kids can entertain themselves for hours with nothing but a mud puddle, some rocks, and a stick.

As a matter of fact, getting bored is extremely healthy for kids. You do not have to be the entertainment director. Kids need to use their imagination with what is already on hand, and figure things out for themselves.

They will whine, but they will find something to do! A little bit of "benign neglect" is a gift you give to your kids. It will open up a whole new world for them, and make them use brain cells they didn't even know they had. They will often amaze you, impress you, and they might even make you cards that say "I luv u mom".

Have you read To Kill A Mockingbird? A worthy read, but that's not my point. It's set about 90ish years ago, in a sleepy little town down South. You can learn a lot from the book, but the thought that was mostly on my mind was "These people were so beyond bored!"
I believe suicide was more common back then than it is now.

gold21

Tue, May 26 2020, 5:57 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I assure you that 50-100 years ago, kids played with other kids in the neighborhood and got into all sorts of fun and mischief. They also were very involved in the goings-on in the home, the boys helping their father outdoors and the girls helping their mother indoors.

For the most part, they didn't sit around with nothing to do all day.

If anything, life was more communal then, not less. Shtetl style life, which was very common in Europe, wasn't exactly isolating or boring.

Isolation isn't some sort of old fashioned ideal. I'm all for free play and less structure like the good old days that you reference, but isolation and total boredom is not something I would sing the praises of.

Last edited by gold21 on Tue, May 26 2020, 7:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tue, May 26 2020, 6:16 pm

gold21 wrote:

I assure you that 50-100 years ago, kids played with other kids in the neighborhood and got into all sorts of fun and mischief. They also were very involved in the goings-on in the home. For the most part, they didn't sit around with nothing to do all day.

If anything, life was more communal then, not less. Shtetl style life, which was very common in Europe, wasn't exactly isolating.

Isolation isn't some sort of old fashioned ideal. I'm all for free play and less structure like the good old days that you reference, but isolation and total boredom is not something I would sing the praises of.

Yea they milked the cows and took the chickens to the rav to ask if it’s kosher. They handwashed the laundry too. They were far from bored.

FranticFrummie

Tue, May 26 2020, 6:25 pm

I just keep telling myself "What if the snow was 6 feet deep, and you couldn't get out of the house?"

"The Long Winter" is one of the most depressing Little House books in the series, but it certainly does make you appreciate what you have.

I'm an old fogey (get off my lawn!) Mad

I remember when having two Barbies and 4 outfits for them was considered a luxury. My parents couldn't afford the Dream House and all the fancy accessories, so my sister and I had to make doll furniture with cut up cardboard, tape, and bits of fabric trim. Shoe boxes were prized items.

Sammy Girl

Tue, May 26 2020, 6:29 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Love your post, Frantic Frummie!!

behappy2

Tue, May 26 2020, 7:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Her point was stop trying so hard to entertain them and all of you can lean in to the boredom. It's a good thing. I actually did a thread on this topic once. Didn't go over well... Smile

and can't say I'm good at it myself but I'd like to be.

amother

Tue, May 26 2020, 7:06 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Her point was stop trying so hard to entertain them and all of you can lean in to the boredom. It's a good thing. I actually did a thread on this topic once. Didn't go over well... Smile

and can't say I'm good at it myself but I'd like to be.

Not sure what you’re implying but this thread is very nice and I appreciate every response.

amother

Tue, May 26 2020, 7:14 pm

[quote="behappy2"]

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not sure what you’re implying but this thread is very nice and I appreciate every response.[/quote

All of you is you and your kids.

Wasn't Implying anything. It's all plain English..

I knew that every OP risks being bashed. Sometimes it’s their own fault and sometimes someone is just having a hard day. I will choose to ignore this one and continue enjoying the conversation we are having like until now. I do appreciate every response though.

mommy3b2c

Tue, May 26 2020, 7:16 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I can’t imagine why you’re taking offense at that post. I keep rereading it to see if I missed something...

gold21

Tue, May 26 2020, 7:58 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Her point was stop trying so hard to entertain them and all of you can lean in to the boredom. It's a good thing. I actually did a thread on this topic once. Didn't go over well... Smile

and can't say I'm good at it myself but I'd like to be.

Do you recommend adults "lean in" to boredom as well?

Purpose and connection, as I mentioned on a recent thread about what brings us happiness, is vital to everyone, children and adults alike.

I wouldn't advise anyone to lean into a lifestyle that devalues either purpose and/or connection.

When we have no other choice, it is what it is. But to view it as ideal.... Nah.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, May 26 2020, 8:17 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

My kids don't have very structured lives, aside from school (when that's a thing). They still get plenty bored. And sure, they find something to do, but most of the time it involves fighting with a sibling. Not a single loving card has been handed to me these past three months. Perhaps if I lived on the banks of plum creek they would skip in rosy-cheeked at the end of the day with a bouquet of wildflowers. Alas, we live in the city, and the only thing we accumulate are messes.