TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

amother

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 11:01 pm

Hi
Truthfully you can say it is not my business, maybe it isn't but I just want to understand- hear me out & answer me please to the best of ur ability.

There are people who post their whole life on social media.
For example: that they are pregnant and that they are nauseous or that this happened this morning or that... and many many people see their story, status etc.
Like why is it impt to share personal information with the whole world???
I don't understand!
Like isnt it that certain things you keep to yourself?
The whole world has to know everything about you?
Yea, if you say that if I feel that way then I shouldn't check these people out on status or Instagram but I'm just trying to understand the concept of exposing yourself to the whole universe
Is there no boundries?

amother

Aqua

Thu, Jun 25 2020, 11:38 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

It's a fad among the younger generation.

It promotes envy and unhappiness as people try to present a perfect life
which makes others feel discontented and jealous.

It also shows narcissism, to think others care about what you ate for breakfast...

This. you wrote it so well. im glad so far I did not get sucked in. thank you dh for insisting we block all social media. I would suddenly feel so inadequate, and unpretty, and unaccomplished... even though IRL they are probably just as human

amother

Silver

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:39 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I so agree. I can see it from young, immature people but I know someone in their mid 50’s who posts every little thing she eats, cooks, does, etc. it’s nuts! There must be some kind of inner emptiness or insecurity that makes someone do this

amother

Silver

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:40 am

mamma llama wrote:

Scientific studies were done to try to understand this, and it turns out that every time you post, you get a dose of dopamine, like people get from alcohol and drugs... That's why social media is considered an addiction. Every time the dopamine wears off, you want the good feelings again so you have to post again.

If they’d know the truth—that people reading their nonsense are rolling their eyes up in their head then they wouldn’t get a high from it

saltandvinegar

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:43 am

#BestBubby wrote:

But its not necessarily the younger generation. My friends tell me about bloggers who are in their 50's who post every little detail of their life.

And people do feed into it by messaging these people what an inspiration they are, how special they are, where they shop, etc... so people/followers do care about what these bloggers "ate for breakfast." Its honestly dumb

any

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 12:51 am

People connect to people . Not to business
Let’s say I would not follow a page of “furniture” it’s not interesting .
But I may follow a page of an “influencer “ that talks about her life, gives tips , show me her diet etc ... and when she’s shows me her home, I will see her beautiful furniture and I may ask her were is from, I can end up buying from there.
There’s is a very famous Jewish makeup artist she posts about her work ,family , home etc
I follow her , yesterday she launched a line of jewelry , the firsts 30 minutes one of the earrings she was selling was sold out. People will tell you it’s bc they are nice. It’s not true . Maybe it’s nice but the reason people bought is bc they connect with her. They admire her . So if she is selling something people go crazy to buy it .
Do you think if a random jewelry was selling this same earring they would sell it all in 30 min? I will answer : NO
I’m not saying it’s right or that I agree , me personally I would feel uncomfortable posting pics of my kids to any psycho to see it .
But answering your question : they do it bc makes people connect to them and they end up making money from it

amother

Yellow

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 1:18 am

I am in my 40s and I have friends like this. Well, by now they are acquaintances.
They must show everyone every vacation and mini-trip or outing they go on with their husband or kids. They must post their philosophical musings on politics and Covid and parenting, etc.
They have a need for people to comment, "your kid is so cute!", "what a fun mom you are to take them for ice cream!","you are so smart and wise".
I just got tired of it and I stopped opening Facebook and Instagram.

singleagain

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 4:51 am

In my opinion, ppl need an outlet to express themselves. They also either want to keep in touch with ppl. Or maybe, they are lonely and want to find their tribe.

Live Journal was started by a guy who wanted an easy way to update his high school friends on his goings on in life.

YouTube was started by three guys who wanted to be able to share a large home video file with friends easily.

Facebook was created as a way for the students at Harvard to connect with each other.

Why do I post not anonymously? Bc I want to give a face/voice to the struggles I'm going through so maybe someone else going through the same struggles will think "hey... Look, someone else gets it. I'm not as alone as I feel"

malki2

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 5:45 am

singleagain wrote:

Facebook was started as a way for the students of Harvard to rate the looks of girls at Harvard.

The others were started for similar reasons.
Or to make money.

BH I’ve never been to any of these sites. Except for Facebook, and I dropped my membership. Imamother is the closest I’ll ever get to social media, and even then it’s too much.

PeanutMama

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 6:38 am

I used to post a lot of what happened in my life (BH I didn’t say what I ate for breakfast but more like how I feel that way and why) on social media as an incredibly lonely 14 yr old. I was very alone, struggling with depression, and I needed someone to talk to since my parents didn’t give me enough attention at the time unless I tried to do something crazy.
I’ve matured a lot since then and overcame these internal battles 9 years later.
I don’t post much anymore since I’m busy now but as far as I understand it the people who post a lot are just really lonely people in real life (they have little to no friends or family) and social media is just a way to get attention.

thriver

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 8:15 am

This was a poem I wrote three years ago in response to another poem I saw written about Instagram life:

We’re that family in the picture
We look so great and slim
We even got the blondes
And the blue eyed, dimpled grin

We’ve got the beautiful home
it cost well over half a mil
The family‘s helping us pay the loan
It’s that kind of deal

We look so picture perfect
We’ve got it all together
We began with Kollel, now he’s out to work
—amazing. what could be better?

A stay at home Mom with adorable kids
And cleaning help to boot
Shopping and schmoozing with friends fill the days
Even the three year old’s out at playgroup

I’m that mother who is beautiful and slim
My smile is dimpled as well
I’ve barely gained an ounce since sem
And my new sheitel? Well it’s just swell

Picture perfect. Yes we are.
But behind the scenes is more to see
That picture doesn’t reveal all—
It doesn’t show the full story

Those adorable kids, each one a treasure to behold
But ADHD and medicine is what makes our days roll

That beautiful house—what a gift
To move in the day after I found the lump indeed
Turned out to be cancerous
BH there’s space enough for all the help we’d need

I miss the simple life
I’d go back in a day
My husband is working hard
Shame we don’t see him much anyway

I’d love to be out working
The quiet is making me crazy
But all the drugs in my system
They’ve made my brain kind of hazy

I’m so beautiful and thin
Post mastectomy and all
It really is a blessing to be so thin and tall—you can’t tell what’s missing hardly at all

My three year old’s the baby
I won’t be pregnant for a bit
Thank you hormone therapy
It makes me feel real sick

So be jealous of my picture
My gorgeous sheitel covering my new head of hair
Just remember my poem
Next time you think life’s not fair

***I don’t actually have social media. This was just a hypothetical what it would appear like if I did***

silverlining3

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 8:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Neither do I understand. But then I don't understand many things people do or say.... That's life

silverlining3

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 8:33 am

#BestBubby wrote:

people try to present a perfect life

Only for your bubble to get busted when you find out they got divorced, after posting million and 1 pictures together with love captions

silverlining3

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 8:38 am

any wrote:

Here within lies a big problem.... The stuff they sell is usually a pretty buck but people will not let it pass cuz 'she's' selling it!
Real connection is to feel connected without wanting everything others have-sell.
These things bring more envy than connection.
That's my humble opinion

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 9:53 am

malki2 wrote:

Where did you get this information? Its factually not true.