I’m REALLY crying it out.

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 11:43 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

I think this is mom-shaming.

This is why I didn’t put it in that thread.
I didnt want it being a personal attack,
I’m trying to figure out why it’s bothering me so much.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 11:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

This is why I didn’t put it in that thread.
I didnt want it being a personal attack,
I’m trying to figure out why it’s bothering me so much.

It’s called counter transference. You decided you’re that 6 month old that’s crying and no one is hearing you.

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 11:59 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

It’s called counter transference. You decided you’re that 6 month old that’s crying and no one is hearing you.

Why? I had a normal youth, no abuse, well taken care of...
I’m sensitive by nature,
but why do I care so much how another mother raises her child? Why am I so angry at her?

imorethanamother

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why? I had a normal youth, no abuse, well taken care of...
I’m sensitive by nature,
but why do I care so much how another mother raises her child? Why am I so angry at her?

The baby will be fine. Science says so. Relax.

amother

Teal

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:03 am

I don’t like this thread. I’m sorry you feel that way, there’s a lot of threads I don’t agree with but I keep my mouth shut because I wouldn’t want someone to start a thread criticizing me.
You said you’re sensitive so think about that mother’s feelings when she reads this thread.

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:26 am

I was actually going to start a spinoff thread because reading everyones comments have been really helpful to me. Im expecting now with my first iyh and Im trying to educate myself more on how to sleep train. my mother never let us CIO for numerous reasons. Is CIO the same as the ferber method? How do I learn to put my baby to sleep at a normal time?

dancingqueen

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:34 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Buckle up honey there’s no normal sleep for a while with a newborn baby.

amother

Pink

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:41 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Yes, CIO is the Ferber method.

Elizabeth Pantley's book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, is fantastic and works for most (albeit not all) babies. It is not one solution, but a variety of helpful methods and doesn't force you to change your parenting instincts or personality to implement them.

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:44 am

dancingqueen wrote:

Buckle up honey there’s no normal sleep for a while with a newborn baby.

Lol true but just trying to look into different techniques I guess Smile

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 12:45 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

great thanks! will add to my Amazon list Very Happy

lilies

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why? I had a normal youth, no abuse, well taken care of...
I’m sensitive by nature,
but why do I care so much how another mother raises her child? Why am I so angry at her?

Maybe you have strong feelings when seeing someone doing something you feel is terrribly wrong?

tichellady

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:12 am

Babies cry for all sorts of reasons. They also need adults to make decisions for them so they can be healthy and safe. I don’t let my child’s tears guide my decisions about her. Babies are allowed to be sad. They are allowed to prefer being held and cuddled and nursed all night long. That doesn’t mean their parents need to avoid sleeping and functioning Normally. The parents can make a decision that’s best for the baby and family even if it involves tears. I don’t know anyone who just went straight to cio without trying other things first. And for a baby on a good schedule with good eating habits it should be a fairly quick and easy process that will save lots of tears down the road from exhaustion and over tiredness.

You should cry for all the children in the world who are Actually neglected and abused, not for children with loving parents who are trying to get them to sleep on their own

tichellady

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 1:13 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

I’m a big fan of the book “ the happy sleeper”. I wish I started with that book and skipped the other ones I read.

challahchallah

Fri, Sep 25 2020, 2:01 am

tichellady wrote:

I’m a big fan of the book “ the happy sleeper”. I wish I started with that book and skipped the other ones I read.

Totally agree. It’s a nice middle of the road method that involves some crying, but never leaves a crying baby alone for more than 5 minutes. It also encourages flexibility and following your instincts if you still want to feed your baby at night or if your baby seems unusually distressed.

I also felt like it lived up to the name “Happy Sleeper.” I resisted sleep training for so long because I was uncomfortable with hearing my baby cry at all, but truthfully my baby was so so much happier once we did it. Turns out not getting long stretches of sleep was making my baby unhappy (and me, of course). It was definitely the right call for our family.