Moms of large families

amother

Mauve

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 3:18 pm

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

Sometimes. Smaller spaced out families don’t need as much help usually.

Yes but for example the situation I'm in now. I have 4 kids between the ages of almost 13 and 4 knH. They help me, they help each other whilst I'm going through a difficult 1st trimester so we do need help sometimes. And then iyH with a newborn...

amother

Lavender

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:09 pm

I have more than 5 less than 10. I don't think it's large but perfect for me. Instead of chm trips this year I bought some a&c and other activities to keep them occupied. We do a general clean up once a day, everyone pitches in, and then I set up a special treat in the sukkah.
A wise woman told me not to stress about yt food abs menus, just do simple and buy lots of nosh. I'm amazed at how well that's working! Laugh

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:13 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

I have two and not coping, and my neighbor with 13 is doing wonderfully. You can’t just look at the numbers.

I also have 2. How do u know mom of 13 is coping? Maybe she’s very good at hiding what’s really going on.
I just wanna know what everyone does with their abs after. Cuz my baby is a year old, and I’m distraught over my minor diastisis recti that’s super stubborn. Bh I’m managing fine, but I’ve worked too hard at the gym for it all Togo down the drain. Considering stopping at 2.

allthingsblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:17 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

If you have diastasis, have you been doing diastasis exercises? I found excellent ones on YouTube, I especially like Jessica from Pregnancy and Postpartum TV, and Bodyfit by Amy. Also , you can try pelvic floor therapy.

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 4:24 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

I tried some on YouTube, but I gave up because they weren’t working. I might try pelvic floor therapy. But I can’t imagine doing this now after every kid. I didn’t have this problem after #1, and I even waited a couple years to get pregnant again just in case! And I still got DR Sad

penguin

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:07 pm

DodgerBlue, do I understand you correctly? Are you saying not that you can't cope financially, physically or emotionally with more children, but that you don't want to risk your figure?

I hope I don't offend by asking you this, but are you saying that your appearance is your greatest priority?

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:12 pm

penguin wrote:

I’m upset that my hard work got thrown out the window after only 2 kids. And I’m working way harder now than I ever did to get my abs back, and it’s not working.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:28 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

I know because we live Next to each other’s and I hear what goes on there. They’re super happy and calm all time. The older ones help a lot, willingly. She doesn’t stress about clothing and menus, just that each kid should be happy and have what they need and some of what they want.
Idk her body looks fantastic too. I’m convinced that some people just have it easier than others.
I know there’s no abuse or neglect or mental health issues going on because having gone through those myself, I can easily tell if there’s any of that in a household.

amother

Natural

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:37 pm

What about extracurriculars carpools? Or when multiple kids in household have ear infections over winter and mom works or simply needs to care for house but then is running back for the ten day follow up for all of those affected? Or does she just not? And how does she keep track of everyone's medicine schedule. What if one needs ot or pt or speech? How does she juggle this times all the other kids needs and fit it into the schedule?

I always wonder if mom's of smaller families who wouldn't manage larger ones are just more hands on? But how do you ignore an ear infection or therapy needs?

amother

Mauve

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:40 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I wonder the same thing. My sil has 14 knH but now she has help from the older ones!

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 5:57 pm

When I had my 2 oldest and people asked me how many kids I have I would answer its the quality that counts. Bh I'm blessed with more. And I think it's how I think. If I start the day on the negative side I can't. But if I start positive we are going places! So I wake up in the morning and sing my thank you song to hashem for blessing me with my healthy brood and then I'm capable of ANYTHING! Btw I'm sif after pif. Every child is my diamond and they know it. They know we are rich because of our delicious kids. Thank you hashem.

amother

Natural

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:10 pm

Children are the biggest blessing but this is precisely why I ask all these logistical questions. I find it so challenging to juggle the needs of just a few bH normal children (no extraordinary needs) especially in winter seasons with multiple pediatrician visits, or if one needs a therapy etc. What about dentist appointments? Checkups ok but what about when one or maybe six have cavities? And she works even part time or has to cook or clean that day? I really don't understand how mom's of large families handle these logistics unless they really just let a lot of these things fall by the wayside?

No judgement just have always wondered what it takes to manage many children

lilies

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:16 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I know many moms with large families and ear infections and appointments mean crazy days; days where parents do not have a moment to breathe. And medicine gets tracked. They don't have 10 kids from one day to the next, it's a gradual increase and the setup of the family is different than a small family.

OT and ST might mean that the older kids pitch in more, that the younger siblings learn some skills, by default, that others in smaller families need to be taught.

little neshamala

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:18 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

I’m upset that my hard work got thrown out the window after only 2 kids. And I’m working way harder now than I ever did to get my abs back, and it’s not working.

Ok, re diastasis recti: stop everything youve been doing, dont do any more youtube videos, and look into the mutu program, aka mutu mamas.
It really really really works, worth the money, done the proper way

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:26 pm

Ok, I guess I qualify to answer as a mom of 8 keh. And yes, they are closely spaced (1st and last are just about 12 years apart). Yes, most days I do consider myself a superwomen! I do not think anyone would say it's 'easy' and there are many balls to juggle but here's some things that one can do to 'manage' (you know that's relative, right?).

Get help with the things you can (cleaning help, husband, family etc.).
kids can and should help too (I need to work on this one..)
Lowering Expectations - remembering that this is a phase you're in, just don't sweat the small stuff!! Remember to enjoy the children and the stage you/they are in!!
Having a routine and really sticking to it is a big thing (for me at least).

Better go start the above mentioned routine (yes, I stick with it for the most part during Y'T too!!).

imaima

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:30 pm

penguin wrote:

It's not appearance, it's health
Inner organs are not positioned properly with DR either

amother

Natural

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:31 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

What happens when you have a week planned and one kid is screaming through the night so you need to rearrange the next day to go to the doctor to check his ears? And then another has a sore throat two days later that needs to be checked? And then the pediatrician needs to see both again for follow up if antibiotics were needed? How do you account for all these normal extras on top of all the other million responsibilities?

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:32 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

These things hopefully don't happen at the same time. But OTOH I have such problems with my 4 kids too.

amother

Natural

Wed, Oct 07 2020, 6:38 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

These things hopefully don't happen at the same time. But OTOH I have such problems with my 4 kids too.

Exactly! Which is why I can't imagine how weeks like that look in larger families unless those of us with smaller ones have to keep them smaller because we are more on top of appointments and things like that?