Need to vent. | Imamother

amother

Thu, Oct 29 2020, 6:14 pm

I know I'm gonna sound like a whiny baby, but I need somewhere to "talk" it out ...

My brother in law and his family (who live In the same town as us) are making Aliyah. They have a much bigger townhouse that they are renting (like triple the size of ours) and they wanted to know if we would like to take it over, they'd let the landlord know and we'd have first crack at it. We got really excited, bc my husband just got a new job and we now have a much bigger income then when we first moved here. We were planning on moving in April anyway, bc that's when r lease is up, and bc my husband is due for a bonus b4 then.

Anyway, we spoke to the landlord and he was all for it! 😁 And we were really excited. Then we found out the rent on the place was higher then we thought (miscommunication between the brother in law and us, no one's fault...) But after crunching the numbers we realized it was not a logical thing to do. Bc even tho we could afford it, we'd be left with almost nothing after rent+utilities+kids tuition +food/diapers/wipes.... U get the idea.

So now I'm heartbroken 💔 I don't want to let on to my husband how upset I really am. He's had trouble in the past feeling bad for not providing a certain lifestyle for us, even tho I keep telling him I don't care.

And really it's fine. I know one day we will get a nicer/bigger place. All in the right time! But it still stings. I had envisioned it all. And how I'd set it up and everything. And now I feel like I'm morning...

Anyway, thanks for "listening"

Tirza

Thu, Oct 29 2020, 6:24 pm

You are not at all a "whiny baby". You had your heart set on it, and it's disappointing to lose it. That's perfectly natural and human.
I'm really sorry that this didn't work out for you. I hope that when the time is right, you will find a house that you love even more than this one, and that you will be really happy. Maybe Hashem has a great surprise in store for you!

amother

Thu, Oct 29 2020, 6:27 pm

Tirza wrote:

Thank you so much for your kind words! I really needed to hear that!!

amother

Brunette

Thu, Oct 29 2020, 6:31 pm

I was in a bit of a different situation than you, but I know what it’s like to have your heart set on a house and then it doesn’t work out. (I totally relate to having it all furnished and decorated in my mind!) I will tell you that eventually we ended up in the perfect house for us. I always kept reminding myself that Hashem has a bigger plan, and that the right house will come at the right time. BH it did!

amother

Thu, Oct 29 2020, 6:38 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Thank you, this is what I keep telling myself too. I know we will get a place eventually. And to make myself feel better I decided to move things around in our current place to have a new feel, and to make more space. And its helping a little.

Sometimes making the mature and rational decision is hard. Sad

I know in the long run we will be happy that we did it at the right time. And I have faith we will find a place. But still sad for what could have been.