Chizzuk for deciding not to nurse

amother

Babypink

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 9:54 am

Go for it!

I'm someone who has a ton of milk and my babies latched on right away!
With my first kids I breastfed and it was a disaster. My babies were very colicky so I never knew if they were hungry and not eating enough or it was just plain colic.
I also HATED it. I don't know why. Just don't like the act of nursing.

I made the decision not to nurse my next kids and it was the best thing I ever did!!
I'm calm, relaxed, and know exactly how much my babies ate.
They did not get sick more often than my nursing kids and developed just fine!

Go for it!!!

Odelyah

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:00 am

also it's a cute phrase but I'm not sure what fed is best even means to most people who say it--I mean what's the alternative, not feeding? obviously not feeding is not best. I think this slogan can reassure mothers who have reasons why nursing is very difficult/not an option, that as long as their baby is being fed, they shouldn't feel guilt about not nursing due to having been told breast is best. The thing is though, it really is best. So formula nowadays, with the dearth of wet nurses, is plan B. And sometimes that's all we can do and that's OK. But to just say "fed is best" to everyone, is ignoring the reality that formula is plan B. I mean sometimes frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner is all we can do, but do we just say fed is best about what we feed our kids every day? We aim for nutritious homemade food for supper, but sometimes it's not possible or practical, so, like in everything, we go to plan B. and sometimes C or D or XYZ. We do the best we can but it doesn't mean it's all the same.

[I like "full throttle bottle" much better Wink

]

Last edited by Odelyah on Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:03 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Ivory

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:02 am

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

Btw I bonded with my baby by not propping it’s bottle till at least 3 months. And we bonded well.

I’ve never propped a single bottle, ever!

Is that what people think? That bottle fed babies are ‘propped’? Every single bottle is a 20 minute ‘bonding session’ (except I’m not the only one who bonds. dad does too)

amother

Linen

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:02 am

Odelyah wrote:

“Fed is best” means that there is no plan B.
There’s 1 plan, and it’s to feed your baby.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:03 am

Whatever your reasons are must be compelling and you should do whatever method you decide with simcha. BH you have these options so you can choose.
I know I pushed myself to hard in my life to always do the best and suffered so much burnout because of it.
If you have really thought it through and feel it is best, then don't worry about it.

essie14

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:09 am

I breastfed but didn't have enough milk and I had to supplement with bottles. Never propped a single bottle. Baby was either held by me or DH or visiting grandparent if I wasn't nursing at that feed.
Fed is best means that a mother shouldn't kill herself to nurse if she doesnt have enough milk or if the baby doesnt latch, or if her sanity and health are suffering.

Mazal tov, OP. Please do what is best for you and your family and dont feel guilty. Your baby will be fed however you choose to feed.

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:18 am

I nursed 2/3 and pumped then bottle fed 1/3. Now bottle feeding #4. My nursed babies had much more issues than my bottle fed and when they developed feeding problems it was difficult to prove to the doctors as they were exclusively nursing. With bottles I can tell the Dr they normally eat x now only getting z.

Hormonally it is hard when you're engorged but put cabbage leaves under your bra and you'll feel much better.

The other benefit is being able to leave baby with babysitter and husband. Much easier to sleep train a bottle fed baby that you know is eating well.

I haven't found colic to be any different with my babies either - my nursed babies had plenty of colic and so did bottle fed.

amother

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:29 am

mandr wrote:

OP maybe try to come up with a list of reasons why you DON'T want to breastfeed and then maybe you'll have some clarity.

Thanks to all replies! please keep them coming!
Reasons for not wanting to breasfeed this time around:
1.
I will probably be busy with a high profile job BEZH (I want to, I dont need to because of finance BH but I am looking forward to the mental stimulation and yes even prestige Wink

) that will keep me for more hours than in the past when I worked..
2. nursing definitely made it a huge challenge for me to lose weight. and I even gained while nursing (when changing my diet at a point where I felt I should buckle down to lose some weight, my babies stopped gaining well)
3. I slept with my babies when nursing and that affected my sleep cycles until fully weaning
4. this may seem selfish and just a shorterm issue but I am having a close family wedding BEZH literally days after BEZH giving birth, I cant imagine being busy with engorgement, pumping, getting undressed to nurse etc. not to mention being on call during bavarfen, shabbos sheva broches etc. planning on having a nurse IYH. would be such a relief for me not to have to run back every hour to nurse newborn (my feedings in the beginning are long ordeals and when done its almost time for next session)
5. its a whole matziv with me. I only wear edith lances bras. wasnt happy with them when it was converted to nursing bras. so I open up my bra from the back every time I nurse. I would roam around the house practically topless for hours at a time instead of bothering to close and open yet again TMI

I know I must sound shallow to most diehard nursers...

mfb

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know I must sound shallow to most diehard nursers...

For these reasons I would say maybe nurse twice a day, morning and evening and the rest give bottles. This way you have freedom but baby also gets benefits

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know I must sound shallow to most diehard nursers...

I'm a sahm and found nursing difficult. Every time I nursed I felt nauseated and it never went away.

People have to do what works for them. I would not be able to do a high powered job even while bottle feeding. I do take good care of my kids and that's my job that I'm proud of.

If nursing is the compromise you need to make to feel better it is so not a big deal

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Nov 10 2020, 10:45 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

Same here. I've never propped a bottle. I even hold my 1 year old. I don't think it's right to prop a bottle, especially for little babies.