S/O clearing the snow (females can as well)

amother

Aqua

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 1:15 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

I never said anything about doing each other favors. I’m just talking about generally what we know we each take care of. Of course if he asked me to take a bag out to the trash I would, although I’d be happier leaving it until he was able to. And I ask him to do things that aren’t usually his responsibility and he does it, very happily.
Of course this has nothing to do with gender. Just regular dividing up household jobs. The shoveling is somewhat gender based for us just based on strength and ability.

Ok. It sounded from the other post like your lines were much more rigid.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 1:18 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

Because feminism is not a reason to shoot ourselves in the foot. Sometimes I wonder if the point of feminism might have been that women can do it all...and men can do none of it. No thanks.

No feminism means that both sexes are capable of whatever they set their minds to. But some societies really messed it up where now the women do everything and the men nothing.

allthingsblue

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 1:18 pm

If feminism means I must shovel the snow instead of my husband, who is a lot stronger than I am, then I don't want anything to do with it.
Men are usually stronger than women.

I don't think my husband would even be able to handle watching me do it; after two minutes he'd come out and take he shovel from me and take my place.
And I am not complaining!

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 2:50 pm

I'm a pretty hardcore feminist (at least by imamother standards) and I believe 99.9% of the time there's no difference between what men and women are capable of. But I still believe in basic biology. Men are generally physically larger and stronger than women, so it's common sense that something majorly physical like shoveling would generally fall to the man. I am under 5' tall and weight 130 lbs, and I just don't possess the physical strength required. And with the 2 ft of snow that just fell this week, even if I did have the strength, I'd have a heck of a time just angling the shovel properly while sunk up to my waist. Happens to be, we hired out for this one, because we knew it was going to be a doozy, but if we hadn't, my 6' tall dh would have obviously been the one to do it. That's common sense.

PeanutMama

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:00 pm

I wanted to but my husband insisted I should NOT lift a finger while expecting so there’s that 😅
My husbands the type to do the man stuff. He believes women should also take part in chores yes but the light stuff.
Only light stuff. Like mopping, sweeping, taking out the trash, washing dishes, cleaning bathroom, doing the laundry (not sure if changing sheets is the same lol)....but if he sees ON MY FACE that I am completely pooped he insists I should rest.
He does the plastering, building, fixing, even arranging his own seforim.
I say I can use a screwdriver and a nail but he gets offended lol. He literally does not want me doing man stuff!

I also have a kid to take care of that’s too little to play in the snow so.........

MiriFr

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:06 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Physical strength isn't something you're born with, it's something you work on. Women can be strong.

Interesting factoid- on average, men have more muscle mass than women! So the strongest female in the world is still not as strong as the strongest male in the world.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:06 pm

My husband has a white collar job. It used to be when there was enough snow that he stayed home, he shoveled, because he wasn't doing much work anyway.
Now that he's working from home though, he can't shovel because he has the same work as usual, so I shovel.
I don't really mind shoveling, but we live in the back of a 200 foot cul-de-sac that doesn't get plowed. Getting the car out yesterday was ROUGH!

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:11 pm

um yeah so some of you do not even live in a freezing heavily snowing climate...awesome when there is a man around to do the heavy lifting
we hire snow plowers it got to be too much for any/all of us
whatever works
who cares
how it all gets done

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:12 pm

when I see the disclaimer "females can too" yes but who wants to
and if someone does great they can

sure not going to do it in order to make some social statement

though if you want you may come do our driveway and walks

amother

Copper

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:14 pm

MiriFr wrote:

Interesting factoid- on average, men have more muscle mass than women! So the strongest female in the world is still not as strong as the strongest male in the world.

We live as individuals, not as statistical representations of averages.

MiriFr

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:15 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

We live as individuals, not as statistical representations of averages.

But fact is, men are stronger, on average. Which is why they’re expected to do jobs that involve strength, on average.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:30 pm

Men are built differently. It's just a fact. Most men can do physical tasks better than women. ( I'm not talking about women athletes or weight lifters etc... just your typical woman ) There are some exceptions but that's not the norm. I struggle with heavy snow, my husband has a much easier time, I struggle shlepping heavy boxes my husband has an easier time etc...

PeanutMama

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:32 pm

MiriFr wrote:

But fact is, men are stronger, on average. Which is why they’re expected to do jobs that involve strength, on average.

And that’s why we find them attractive amongst other things 😜

But come on.

Men are naturally stronger than the women it’s all part of life.
They just do MORE than what a woman can do all by herself (I’m talking about the average lady! Not the body builder types...)

Last edited by PeanutMama on Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:32 pm

Also as women we have a lot of expectations and other things to live up to. I don't need to take on everything that has been the norm for the man. I would be drowning. I don't get how today's society is all about women doing all the men and women jobs. So what's left for the man? What does he need to strive to be?

MiriFr

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:33 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

And that’s why we find them attractive amongst other things 😜

Oh, I can take my husband out with one arm, but he’s still pretty darn cute LOL

penguin

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:47 pm

As far as garbage is concerned, many women are BH busy with babies. How are you going to take out the trash? With a baby on one arm & a toddler hanging on to the skirt?

So even if the wife is a working mother, when she's filling up the trash (cooking etc) she's home with kids.

ETA: (And even once there are older kids to either take out the trash or watch the baby while Mom takes it out, by that time likely the routine has been established.)

And the husband is going out to Maariv or whatever, possibly more outings than the wife.

So it really makes a lot of sense that he'd take along the garbage.

Now let's say the trash isn't heavy. And even let's say the DH takes the child to babysitter/playgroup in the morning as they both head for work. Still, he has pockets, and she often doesn't (another product of the paternalistic culture, no doubt!). So who is more likely to have a free hand to take the garbage?

Last edited by penguin on Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:49 pm; edited 1 time in total