So painful- broke and in debt:(:(
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 8:12 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר הַקַּפָּר אוֹמֵר: לְעוֹלָם יְבַקֵּשׁ אָדָם רַחֲמִים עַל מִדָּה זוֹ, שֶׁאִם הוּא לֹא בָּא — בָּא בְּנוֹ, וְאִם בְּנוֹ לֹא בָּא — בֶּן בְּנוֹ בָּא, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״כִּי בִּגְלַל הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה״. תָּנָא דְּבֵי רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל: גַּלְגַּל הוּא שֶׁחוֹזֵר בָּעוֹלָם. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף, נְקִיטִינַן: הַאי צוּרְבָּא מֵרַבָּנַן לָא מִיעֲנֵי. וְהָא קָא חָזֵינַן דְּמִיעֲנֵי! אִם אִיתָא דְּמִיעֲנֵי, אַהְדּוֹרֵי אַפִּתְחָא לָא מַהְדַּר.

It was taught in a baraita that Rabbi Elazar HaKappar says: A person should always request divine mercy with regard to this condition of poverty, for if he does not come to a state of poverty, his son will, and if his son does not come to such a state his grandson will, as it is stated: “You shall surely give him and your heart shall not be grieved when you give to him, for due to this thing [biglal hadavar hazeh] the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you put your hand toward” (Deuteronomy 15:10). With regard to this verse, the tanna from the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught: Due to [biglal] this thing means that it is a wheel [galgal] that turns in the world, upon which people continuously rise and fall. Rav Yosef said: We hold that a Torah scholar will not become poor. The Gemara challenges this statement: But we see that they do become poor. The Gemara answers: Even so, if there is a Torah scholar who becomes poor, he will still never have to go around asking for charity at people’s doors.

אֲמַר לַהּ רַבִּי חִיָּיא לִדְבֵיתְהוּ: כִּי אָתֵי עַנְיָא — אַקְדִּימִי לֵיהּ רִיפְתָּא, כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלַקְדְּמוּ לִבְנַיִךְ. אֲמַרָה לֵיהּ: מֵילָט קָא לָיְיטַתְּ לְהוּ?! אֲמַר לַהּ, קְרָא קָא כְּתִיב: ״כִּי בִּגְלַל הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה״, וְתָנָא דְּבֵי רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל — גַּלְגַּל הוּא שֶׁחוֹזֵר בָּעוֹלָם. תַּנְיָא, רַבִּי גַּמְלִיאֵל בְּרַבִּי אוֹמֵר: ״וְנָתַן לְךָ רַחֲמִים וְרִחַמְךָ וְהִרְבֶּךָ״, כׇּל הַמְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת — מְרַחֲמִין עָלָיו מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם, וְכֹל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְרַחֵם עַל הַבְּרִיּוֹת — אֵין מְרַחֲמִין עָלָיו מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם.

In a similar vein, the Gemara relates that Rabbi Ḥiyya said to his wife: When a poor person comes to the house, be quick to give him bread so that they will be quick to give bread to your children. She said to him: Are you cursing them, your children? He said to her: It is a verse that is written, as it says: “Due to this thing,” and the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught that it is a wheel that continuously turns in the world. Similarly, it was taught in a baraita that Rabbi Gamliel, son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, says: The verse that states: “And He will show you mercy and have compassion on you and multiply you” (Deuteronomy 13:18) teaches us that anyone who has compassion for God’s creatures will receive compassion from Heaven, and anyone who does not have compassion for God’s creatures will not receive compassion from Heaven.

This meant a lot to me. Thanks for posting! Beautiful!
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:16 pm
Sounds difficult and painful. I’m sorry for you.
What about saying parshas ha mon פרשת המן daily? Parnassah comes from Hashem and only He can help.
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Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 10:45 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We would lose our benefits and need to pay a babysitter.

A job wouldn't bring in enough to make up for that? Also if you are giving off a wealthy impression I'm wondering if you have an expensive car etc you can sell that would help you tackle the debt.
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Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:24 pm
You mentioned that no one would ever suspect what's going on.
Why does it need to be that way? Wouldn't letting go of the secrecy and commiserating with other irl make your burden more bearable?
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Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 12:51 am
I, too, have been in a similar situation, and I can promise you that it WILL get better.

In the meantime, take chizzuk that you are a great wife and mother and are teaching your children valuable lessons they might otherwise not learn. May your pain serve as a kapporah and end soon.

"A man is tested when he has everything. A woman, when her man has nothing."
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