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Bringing mil a photo of kids during shiva

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 11:07 am
Making a trip to me menacham avel mil. I have a beautiful pic of her and the kids id love to give her. Is it extremely inappropriate during shiva? Won’t be seeing her for a while after this ...
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 11:13 am
It could possibly be a Halachic issue, if it falls under the category of giving a gift, which I don't think you can do during Shiva.

Not sure though...but could be a question for your LOR.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 11:31 am
Chayalle wrote:
It could possibly be a Halachic issue, if it falls under the category of giving a gift, which I don't think you can do during Shiva.

Not sure though...but could be a question for your LOR.

Just a note on this. I know you and I both sat shiva for parents. There are pretty much no halachos regarding shiva, aveilus, etc. Just about everything we do is strong minhag. This is not a halachic issue per say, but I agree to ask your LOR.
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ra_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 11:35 am
Leave it for her while you're there. Maybe in the living room or kitchen where she'll find it.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:20 pm
watergirl wrote:
Just a note on this. I know you and I both sat shiva for parents. There are pretty much no halachos regarding shiva, aveilus, etc. Just about everything we do is strong minhag. This is not a halachic issue per say, but I agree to ask your LOR.


I would not want to have this discussion here and derail this thread, but I've heard this before.....but have heard this presented as Halacha. But because I was unsure of this, I wrote it as just a possibility and to check with LOR. And since OP was asking if it's appropriate.....perhaps to check how her MIL would feel receiving it.

I found the whole "halachos of aveilus" (or whatever you want to call it) as very confusing, and so many differences between every LOR that any of us asked (we are 7 sisters B"AH, and sometimes got that many variations) with some holding some of these strong minhagim as Halacha, and some not....

Perhaps OP could give the picture to her FIL.....
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 12:33 pm
Maybe you can hang it discreetly on the fridge? She'll see it after shivah, but you won't be giving it to her during the week.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jun 03 2021, 1:56 pm
If your father is still alive, he--or any other member of the household who is not also an avel--is allowed to accept gifts.
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