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Communication in 2021

 
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mommy08




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 4:03 pm
Why is communication so bad these days? With tons of devices where people can get texts and emails...how come they either get ignored or responded to days later? What am I missing? I get the sense that people do read their emails but choose not to respond...Why can't people at least acknowledge the emails? Someone please explain because I'm just not understanding!
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 5:33 pm
Once upon a time people taught etiquette. Parents taught children social etiquette and business schools taught business etiquette. This is no longer the case. Just look at imamother. Count the self-centered imas who can't possibly be expected to write a thank-you note to each of the 700 people who sent them wedding gifts. The clueless ones who never learned that it's rude to call someone multiple times on the phone till they pick up out of sheer frustration and the ones who never learned that it's rude to ignore a phone call.

Technology also plays a part. By making so-called communication easy and cheap, it...well, cheapens it! No one would write a letter to advise someone that they bought new socks, but with IM and email and What's App and so on, you can inform people that you're going to the bathroom and let them know when you're back. Well, that's cheap. You don't have to consider whether what you're saying is worth hearing. Caller ID made it possible for people to screen out people they didn't want to talk to; nobody has to develop the skill of being cordial to people they don't adore. And let's not even talk about robocalls, which are such a pain that many people won't pick up their phones at all. People's devices get cluttered with pointless junk, and the good stuff often gets lost in all that clutter.

Furthermore, there's been a growing trend of selfishness. It's called the "me" generation for a reason. Somewhere along the line, parenting went from being about bringing children up to think of others to being about bringing children up to look out for #1, #1 being themselves. So they talk only to people they want to talk to, and don't acknowledge messages or calls from anyone else.

If everyone thought about the messages they send and made sure to send only those with some substance, maybe fewer messages would be ignored. There would still be rude people who do as they please, though. Even back in the dark ages before answering machines, when you'd call someone's house and a parent or sib would write "Leah, Hannah called, call her back" on a piece of paper, some people would never call back. The rudesbys will always be among us.
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 5:43 pm
Come on zaq. The good old days weren't as rosy as you're painting them. Bet your grandmother said you kids had no manners either.
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mommy08




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 6:06 pm
But it's also crazy how professionals can't communicate well either! Not just a social situation...Not sure if it's unprofessional or just plain rude
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 6:10 pm
trixx wrote:
Come on zaq. The good old days weren't as rosy as you're painting them. Bet your grandmother said you kids had no manners either.
I don't know what my granny thought but my mother TAUGHT us. I was made to write thank you notes for gifts as soon as I lernd learned how to rite write. I was drilled: when you call a friend on the phone and someone picks up, you say "Hello, this is Tweedledum, may I please speak to Tweedledee?" NEVER "Who is this?" or "Is Tweedledee there?" because Dee may not want to or be able to talk and you don't want to put the other person on the spot. And if the Wicked Witch of the West left a message to call her back, you called her back that day unless it was past your bedtime, in which case you called the next day. Oh, and you did NOT allow children to answer the phone until they were old enough to speak clearly, to say "I'm sorry, she's not available, may I take a message" rather than "she's not home, goodbye" or , "she's in the bathroom," and to write the message down and see to it that you received it.

Did everyone follow the rules? Of course not. But most people were taught at least the basics. I don't believe most people teach much beyond saying please when they want something and thank you when somebody gives it to them, which may be why we have imas who think there's no reason to thank their employees or the taxi driver or the cashier because they're getting paid to do their job.
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shanie5




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 6:25 pm
To be dlkz.
when a message comes in its easy to open and read without having time to respond. And by the time you have time to respond, you've forgotten you need to. So it's not ignoring, its forgetting.
That's the problem with instant communication. Easy to read and easy to forget.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 6:48 pm
mommy08 wrote:
But it's also crazy how professionals can't communicate well either! Not just a social situation...Not sure if it's unprofessional or just plain rude


No training. I dream about starting a school to teach people the proper way to use the phone. One of my pet peeves is total strangers who call me and say "Hi Zaq, how are you today?" NONONONO!

1. You say, Hello, my name is Tom Thumb of Mother Goose Associates may I speak to Zaq Zaqarias please?
2. If you're calling Xjehne Bflczki, don't guess. Admit that you don't know how to pronounce the name, spell it out, and ask the person how to pronounce it.
3.If you get voicemail, don't assume that your party will see your number on a screen. Some people still use landlines without caller ID, some people don't know how to retrieve numbers from history, and some people delete numbers automatically. Take the fifteen seconds and leave your phone number.
4.SLOW DOWN! You may talk a mile a minute with your pals, but don't do this with your biz contacts. They may be older; English may not be their first language; your regional accent may be unfamiliar to them even if English is their first language; they may be hearing impaired and rely on lip reading, which they can't do on the phone; and the person listening to the message MAY BE WRITING IT DOWN IN LONGHAND. (I can't tell you how many hours I've wasted replaying voice messages over and over and even asking colleagues to listen in as we try to decipher a rushed and slurred message.) And if your contact can't decipher your message, there's zero chance that they'll call you back.
5. While you're at it, SPELL YOUR NAME, FOOL! Even if it's John Brown. If you don't, your contact will be put in the very unpleasant position of having to call up and say "I'm not sure who called me but it sounded like Carousel Bullfeathers." And depending on who they are and the type of job they do, they may not bother calling you back at all.
5. Ask your callers how they spell their names; don't guess and don't assume. "John Brown" may spell it Jean Braun.

Of course there's much more, but this is a taste. All based on my many many years in the working world dealing with folks who are, shall we say, business-etiquette challenged.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jun 11 2021, 7:57 pm
With technology people expect responses instantly & don't have patience for a call back in the next few days. People are getting frustrated & think they are being ignored if they don't get response within the next few seconds. Doesn't mean that the other person even saw message yet.

With pros it might be boundary setting as not to pick up calls off office hours/visits.

Some Drs like emails.
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mommy08




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 12:00 am
I'm actually talking about email responses or lack there of from teachers, administrators, employment opportunities. Socially there are no issues. It's the professionals which I don't understand. And yes, it can certainly be a patience issue but people are glued to devices these days. There has to be some normal time frame for people to respond...24 hours maybe? And it's amazing how people pick and choose what to respond to.
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Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 12:09 am
mommy08 wrote:
I'm actually talking about email responses or lack there of from teachers, administrators, employment opportunities. Socially there are no issues. It's the professionals which I don't understand. And yes, it can certainly be a patience issue but people are glued to devices these days. There has to be some normal time frame for people to respond...24 hours maybe? And it's amazing how people pick and choose what to respond to.

I just received a reply from a company I sent my resume to in May...
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mommy08




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2021, 12:17 am
Crookshanks wrote:
I just received a reply from a company I sent my resume to in May...


That is so rude and unprofessional!!! Hope you found a job already!
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