Why do we have to follow some tisha bav halachos, but others

amother

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 9:16 pm

are not "relevant" so we don't do it. For example, almost everyone agrees that nowadays you can't go 9 days without taking a shower, so people take showers. But why is laundry not the same? Why are some things not kept as they used to and some we're expected to keep as they're used to?

What do you do when it comes to not wearing laundered clothing? Does everyone really wear everything they plan to wear for a few minutes before the 9 days, for the adults? I know Sefardic Jews have different halachos and are able to do laundry up until the week tisha bav falls out in, so this question is for the Ashkenazic crowd. Are there any leniencies regarding doing laundry in the 9 days? If not why are we lenient when it comes to showers?

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 9:34 pm

My husband pre wears all of his clothes

I dont. Nor do our young kids. I learned If it’s not choshuv clothing (like My work clothes) it’s not necessary

We will likely have to do laundry for our baby who will run out of bibs and onesies

caffeine99

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 9:48 pm

I shower as necessary so either my regular schedule or if I feel sweaty
But extra showers no.

Laundry is only what's needed so my husbands pants I'll do close to shabbos with my bras etc.

Kids don't need to follow anything unless they really understand the concept of the chorban

TravelHearter

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 11:00 pm

We wear our clothing for abt 15 min. Not undergarments or shells. We also limit our showering unless we smell or feel very uncomfortable. For example, not showering every night. My kids are young so I do bathe them, but I’m not going to do laundry unless I need to bli neder

dankbar

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 1:25 am

For babies toddlers & kids who get dirty you are allowed to wash. If mom gets dirty from kids then you can throw it into kids loads. This happens by me alot. I change my toddler 5 times a day because she makes a mess & sometimes smears her dirty hands into me. I say I need as many clothes changes available as she does

amother

Valerian

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 2:00 am

The issue is that standards of personal hygiene have changed to the point that a daily hot shower and freshly laundered clothing are social norms, not special events.

So the question is whether Chazal decreed refraining from these specific things, or whether they were chosen to represent living well. If the first, then we shouldn't do laundry or shower at all, even today. If the second, then maybe we need to find other ways to express that we are in mourning.

Practically, I think the reason we're lenient with showers and stricter with laundry is that we're sensitive to body odor, and most of us have enough clothing to make it through the week without doing laundry.

Elfrida

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 2:00 am

We spent spare time on and off last week pre-wearing clothes.

Showers are reduced to a minimum - a quick shower in cold water every day or two. I tend to average two showers in three days. Cold water actually isn't a hardship, because in the summer I normally prefer cool or cold water anyway.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 3:30 am

Totally separate concepts of aveilus.

Not doing laundry has to do with hesech hadaas, that your mind shouldn't be focused on mundane things other than aveilus and we stick by this even though laundry doesn't take the same effort and focus that it used to. Back in the days when people only had one thing to wear and it got soiled, bdi eved they could wash it. That's why we hold kids who soil clothing often can have clothing washed but adults who don't should wear other clothing they own.

Not wearing fresh clothing has to do with aveilus. That's why we can wear fresh clothing on Shabbos, since we don't have the same rules of aveilus then. Wearing clothing for 15 minutes or so helps take away the freshness aspect and there's less pleasure when donning those clothing in the 9 days. This applies to linen as well.

Showering is only assur in the realm of pleasurable bathing. We can shower or bathe for a need, being sweaty, a mitzvah, etc. But to make sure we're not doing it for pleasure, we don't take extended showers and try to do just the amount needed to clean and with not as pleasurable a temperature, a bit colder than we would otherwise. Usually we shower for both pleasure and cleanliness simultaneously.

Sesame

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 4:16 am

I don’t think it’s a matter of things not being relevant, rather some ppl may not have checked with their lor on the specifics.
Showers are taken when needed and one should wash in colder water than what they normally like and wash limb by limb. If showers are necessary then we must take a shower, but it’s not meant to be pleasant experience.
Clothing if it must be washed such as for babies ppl do wash. Ppl pre wear freshly laundered clothing or if they couldn’t, step on it

amother

Oldlace

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 4:42 am

We’d don’t do laundry and showers and pre wear our clothes for 15 minutes- just for the week of tisha bav. This year, because it falls out on Sunday, we only have one day for all that- tisha bav.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 5:10 am

This thread is very surprising to me.

I don't take a regular shower at all. Only cold water, limb by limb, when I'm sweaty. That's every day or 2. I don't understand why anyone would need more than that. That's the whole point, to do it differently in a way that's not pleasurable. You can get the hygiene you need without the regular shower.

I don't do any laundry at all for adults. We have enough, BH. I might wear a skirt twice if I need to.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 6:32 am

We do laundry as needed. We dont have enough clothing for 9 days straight. I know many who do laundry. And have been told in today's world, its fine. Its not like it used to be.
And we take showers. Its hot here in israel. We were never taught you cant shower.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 6:53 am

The issur on showers is because years ago people went to the bathhouse for a bath which was pleasurable. Nowadays everyone has a shower in their bathroom and therefore can take a shower albeit with cool/warm water. Also, showers are permitted to be taken more often than not is because in the society we live in, it's a chillul Hashem when we need to be around other people, yidden and especially non yidden and we smell.
There's an aveira called Bal Tishaksi where you shouldn't disgust other people and by not taking a shower or washing yourself and/or not wearing deodorant and you smell pungent, other people will be disgusted.
How many times have you passed next to someone who smelled a little pungent.... TMI

DVOM

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 7:25 am

I am only takings showers, not baths (I miss my baths!).

I'm very very very pregnant and only have about 3 dresses, 2 pairs of pjs, and 3 bras that still fit me. I will be doing laundry. For my husband and my kids, there is no need.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 10:29 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

I put the clothing I want to wear first on the floor and stamp on it before I wear it

I've heard of this and read it in an article somewhere. Seems disrespectful to the clothing. We're so careful of the "feelings" of inanimate objects, I find it hard to believe that this is really acceptable. Why abuse and denigrate an innocent shirt just for being clean? Maybe crumple it up so it's wrinkled, but throw it on the floor and step on it as if it were a roach? No way Jose. I pre-wear everything except socks and underwear, which don't come under the freshly-laundered prohibition.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Jul 12 2021, 11:04 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

I might wear a skirt twice if I need to.

What do you do that you have to launder your skirts after every wearing? I wear my skirts over and over and launder them once in a blue moon. It's not like a shirt that you sweat in, the collar gets grungy, etc. It's more like a suit jacket. I wear a slip so the skirt isn't touching my bare skin.