Crying it out | Imamother

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:45 pm

amother [ Winterberry ] wrote:

Co sleeping isn’t for everyone. I for one would be up all night if I had a kid in my bed.

I fall right back to sleep. My only issue is if I stayed up late so I'm only just trying to fall asleep in the first place when they wake up to feed...this happens surprisingly often.

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:47 pm

All sleep training involves some sort of crying. The baby will protest the change at first hence the crying. Most people don’t just ignore their baby for hours. It’s insane to think going in every few minutes is gong to scar your baby. Also a parent that is loving and takes care of their child will not scar them. Only babies that’s are completely neglected all the time will have issues. Also I’ve done trauma work on myself and the things that affected me deeply were incidents from teen and adult life and not from when I was a baby. And I was neglected in other ways as a baby not cio.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:49 pm

tichellady wrote:

Omg, I feel like I’m in an alternate reality. Cry it out is totally fine according to every pediatrician and child psychologist I have spoken to. I didn’t enjoy doing it but I also needed to sleep at some point. So much judgement on this site!!! Also the post about the healthy adults made me laugh. What if someone isn’t a healthy adult? They shouldn’t be allowed to have children? Some people have sleep disorders, migraines, or psychiatric disorders that don’t inhibit their parenting but also really require them not to skip sleep for five years. It’s insane to tell someone that because she’s a mom she needs to give up on sleeping until her kids grow up. No thanks!

She doesn't need to give up sleeping. But letting a baby cry it out isn't the answer to the mothers sleep disorders. Letting a baby cry doesn't sleep train them, it sleep forces them. And if a mother is unhealthy that she can’t get up once a night for a baby, then perhaps it isn't the right time for her to have a baby.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:50 pm

amother [ Winterberry ] wrote:

There's crying alone in a room and there's crying when mom is standing right there soothing the baby. Leaving a baby alone in a room to cry till their body gives up and falls asleep is cruel. Letting an 8 month old cry for an hour alone in a room is cruel, even if mom went in every 10 minutes. For a baby, 10 minutes is an eternity.

amother

Midnight

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 2:01 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

I hear where you're coming from, but this idea "internal baby parts" (which kinda sounds wrong, you know?) is a hotly contested one. There's no proof it actually exists, and developmental development theories don't include it. Inner child work is interesting, but I think it's a bit faddish. At best, inner child work is performed on trauma as defined by a strict set of parameters, and not getting a bottle for two hours as an infant is not considered trauma as it is categorized.

I'm not sure you know where I'm coming from.
If one thing is faddish then all else can be called the same but I am not here to be right.

I'm also not here to take the researchers and pediatricians that advocate for it to task and unveal their own insecurity about it.

I'm here to tell you and everyone advocating for cio that one day when a little voice tells you that maybe maybe maybe there may be something wrong with it, listen to that voice.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 6:49 pm

amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote:

For everyone that's against CIO but claiming there are other ways... pray tell please???

For the last few weeks I've been searching for a no- cry method to no avail. Read many books including precious little sleep, not helpful. Can't afford a sleep coach.

Sooo what's the elusive magical way to sleep train baby and prevent yrs of future sleep issues without buckets of tears in the process??

Some of you say you've done it... spill the beans please!!!

Try her!! Pretty affordable. I got it on sale, bought one level, and upgraded at check out.
Took me 3 (tough) weeks to get my 15 month old to sleep well. Her program runs for 2 weeks.

https://sleepsense.net/do-it-y.....ions/

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 6:59 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

"Every day you learn something new"

Did you know some people need 7-8 hours of sleep to function? To be calm and happy mothers? To be successful wives?
23 years old with 1 child - does that sound 'right' to you?
Did you know some babies can wake up 2-3 times a night and start morning at 6:15?

No sleep disorders by the way. Just need sleep to be happy frum YID.

chanatron1000

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:01 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Saying it's not the right time to have a baby is not helpful. A mother who finds that it is too much for her can't unhave the baby.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:03 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

How old is the baby? Up to a certain age, it's normal to wake every few hours. Part of having a baby is that the baby wakes at night. It's part of the deal. You can't pick and choose what to deal with or not. You take the entire package deal. There are ways to sleep train without letting the baby cry themselves to sleep.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:04 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

Saying it's not the right time to have a baby is not helpful. A mother who finds that it is too much for her can't unhave the baby.

It's helpful for the future. If she can't deal with it at the moment, she shouldn't try for another baby now.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:18 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

It doesn't make a difference. I'm not in that stage now. My point is not to judge her for trying to help herself. You don't know what else is part of her life, financial, martial, other, if any.

Of course its part of the deal. A smart woman takes the deal and makes it better.

I have 1 only via IVF. I trained gentle. I need my sleep to function. It is not your place to say - your not healthy stop having kids.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:25 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

It is very very normal and common for toddlers to wake once a night for a bottle or water. There's
nothing not right about it.

Ummm... No, it's not normal, common (among people I know) or healthy.

A child that age can have a sippy cup with water next to their bed/in their crib and can drink when thirsty. Should not be crying/waking up mom for a bottle.

amother

Midnight

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:27 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Are we back to the good old times when Adam and Eve gave birth to fully functional adults?

What am I missing?

Yes it is normal common and healthy.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:29 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

It's helpful for the future. If she can't deal with it at the moment, she shouldn't try for another baby now.

Wow. Judgemental.

My babies all sleep through the night before 1 year of age. They have sippy cups with water in their cribs/next to their beds.

Just because you are managing well with less sleep, doesn't mean others can. And for you to say then she shouldn't have more kids?? Wow. That's new level.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 7:31 pm

amother [ Midnight ] wrote:

Are we back to the good old times when Adam and Eve gave birth to fully functional adults?

What am I missing?

Yes it is normal common and healthy.

So you're comparing a not having a 2 year old crying during the night for a bottle to fully functioning adults. Ok.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:05 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

Again, CIA is NOT sleep training. CIO and sleep training are 2 separate things. CIO should never be an acceptable thing to do. Don't make a baby suffer because you've got other issues going on.

allthingsblue

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:07 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Again, CIA is NOT sleep training. CIO and sleep training are 2 separate things. CIO should never be an acceptable thing to do. Don't make a baby suffer because you've got other issues going on.

Yes, it is a method of sleep training.

https://www.todaysparent.com/b...../amp/

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:08 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

Isn't it a no brainer and common sense to not have another baby if you're currently not managing with the kids you do have?

amother

Yolk

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:10 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Isn't it a no brainer and common sense to not have another baby if you're currently not managing with the kids you do have?

Luckily CIO only takes 2-3 days so after that the baby will be sleeping nicely and mom will be managing beautifully.

amother

NeonBlue

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 8:27 pm

amother [ Yolk ] wrote:

Luckily CIO only takes 2-3 days so after that the baby will be sleeping nicely and mom will be managing beautifully.

The only reason why it "only takes 2-3 days" is because the baby has given up of being comforted and their cortisol levels shoot up. They literally shut down