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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:35 pm
amother [ Lightblue ] wrote:
I also think it’s quick to jump to conclusions that she’ll always struggle, she might always need support but it may be smooth sailing.

I had a good friend in hs I was always so inspired by her and her parents simple approach to her LD- this was what she did well, this is what she went out for. Priority was for her to have tutors she liked and to never sit through classes she couldn’t handle just to torture herself.

She was popular and Bh successful in her schooling in the sense that she has a masters degree + certification at this point (she’s a LBA, equivalent to BCBA). Makes a good parnassah with beautiful family and most importantly has the most amazing self confidence.

The future is bright. Your feelings are valid but don’t let that anxiety and sadness paint the future.

Thank you so much for this!
I reread it twice!
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:44 pm
Haven’t read the replies here, but in my (little) experience with my own kids who are also adorable, smart and cute, but who also struggle in school… does your daughters IEP give her allowances for test taking? My kids who have an IEP have allowances for them to have their tests read to them to ensure they understand the question fully. (My kids take their tests to their p3 and do it with them) One of my boys can not for the life of him answer a written gemara test, but if the test is done orally, he aces it. Maybe your daughter just didn’t understand what was being asked of her, especially because she’s only 7, and presumably this is the first time she’s taking a test.. don’t sweat it, go over the questions with her, she may totally get the concepts and know the computation, if it’s presented to her in the right way..
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 11:25 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I have one daughter BH.
........
She came home with her 1st math test.
She got a 58%!!!!!!
...


You really need to relax for her sake. I was recently going through old papers and found my report card from 2nd grade, and I discovered that I was apparently quite dismal in math. I don't remember the exact grade, but it was barely passing. Fast forward to high school, and I scored 780 out of 800 on the math SAT and again on the math GRE as well, outscoring 98 or 99 percent of all test takers. I went on to get a master's degree in math and have taught high school and college math for years.

Seriously, relax and do not use every grade a young child brings home to predict their future. If you need to, then hire a tutor. But please do not read into grades at this age. She's young and it means nothing at this stage of her life. The best thing you can do is to stay calm and be loving, supportive, and POSITIVE, and instead of thinking about what her current results predict, strategize how to help her each step of the way.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:01 am
Relax!
There is hope!
Get her the help she needs and let go.
I despaired of my daughter ever learning to read....today she is confident and successful and excelling in a challenging course at one of the top tertiary institutions in our country.
Behatzlacha to you and your daughter!!
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:37 am
Are you sure the teacher is teaching it properly or the test was just too hard in general?

My daughter is learning the ABC & nekudos this year. Everything that she us learning in the English dept, she knows so well & whatever she is learning in first half of day she knows zilch. By diff teachers.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:13 am
B'H your child is happy and healthy! You have much to be grateful for. Math is not the end of the world. Banging head A bad grade is not a failure, it is a starting point.

Children who have trouble with "decoding" often have dyscalculia as well. Math is just another form of decoding. Do some research into nonverbal learning disabilities. If your DD is being subject to the torture that is "Common Core Math", then I don't blame her one bit for being confused.

When DD was struggling in school, in 2nd grade she tested two standard deviations ABOVE her grade level in reading, but two deviations BELOW for math. According to her IQ tests at the time, if she had been able to handle the math, she would be well into the genius category.

She struggled all through grade school and most of high school, while getting top grades in everything else. Finally, she got a teacher who knew how to "teach to her kind of brain", and something clicked. She graduated high school at the top of her class and made the Dean's list!

She's in college now, and is doing college level math with no problem. Sometimes it just takes a while to "click", or you need a teacher who is patient and understanding enough to stick with the student until they get it. Just expecting a student to "keep up" is not always the best thing to do.

If your child needs one on one during math class, or needs a really kind tutor who is fun and engaging, please push for it.

Above all else, remember that THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. Make sure that your DD knows that your love and value of her is not dependent on her grades. She is amazing and wonderful at whatever level of understanding she has.

I bentch you that this should be the worst of your problems.
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amother




Daylily
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:18 am
It's second grade - who cares what math score she gets! If you want to do something constructive like help her with math, fine, but as long as you're focusing on her success being a reflection of your success, you're damaging her. You are failing her if she senses you care more about grades than the important things she is getting right (like being a good person). No one gets to shamayim and gets told they didn't try hard enough at math.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:46 am
My head is still spinning around the idea of a second grader in the first weeks of school being given a graded math test.

What was on this test, and why is there angst being generated by not calling it a worksheet? Why is anyone giving a number grade (especially percentage, what child of 7 understands that, or was that your calculation?) on a child's page at this age, instead of smiley faces and encouraging comments? Was the page only partly filled in, or were there a lot of mistakes?

In early second grade, the focus is on relatively straightforward addition and subtraction. Some key questions -- can she solve such problems orally? Is the issue one of understanding, or of the steps in a particular process? Is she reading the problems accurately, and does she properly understand the steps? Is there a vision issue? A focus issue? A processing issue? A writing speed issue?

Chances are, once the underlying problem is understood, she'll be able to make rapid process.
The likeliest approach to helping her improve is to practice.

She sounds like a gem. Treasure her, and don't let these little things get in the way of your unconditional love and approval.


Last edited by imasinger on Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:04 am
I am having a similar problem with my 6 yr old. Op I think your main concern should be if you feel she is in the right setting to help her flourish and feel her best self.

My concern with my son is that wether or not I care about grades, I dont want him to feel like he is in a class that he doesnt understand anything and feels like a failure(which may happen as he gets older).


So, evaluate the entire situation and see if this is just the math test or is your dd not following and keeping up with other assignments/activities etc. You dont want her in a school/setting where she fails like a failure(now shes too young to understand). If its just math and shes doing well in all the other subjects, then its not too bad. But, if she is behind in everything, then you may want to see if she belongs in a different setting.

Also, regarding the test, since you said your dd saw your reaction, maybe next time she brings you a test, dont look at it in front of her. You can say, please put it in your bag, Ill look at it soon. This can help so that she wont see your reaction and feel bad about herself.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:25 am
imasinger wrote:
My head is still spinning around the idea of a second grader in the first weeks of school being given a graded math test.

What was on this test, and why is there angst being generated by not calling it a worksheet? Why is anyone giving a number grade on a child's page at this age, instead of smiley faces and encouraging comments? If the work showed a problem, it's important not to upset a child, particularly one who already has needed some help in the past.

In early second grade, the focus is on relatively straightforward addition and subtraction. Some key questions -- can she solve such problems orally? Is the issue one of understanding, or of the steps in a particular process? Is she reading the problems accurately, and does she properly understand the steps? Is there a vision issue? A focus issue?

Chances are, once the underlying problem is understood, she'll be able to make rapid process.
The likeliest approach to helping her improve is to practice.

She sounds like a gem. Treasure her, and don't let these little things get in the way of your unconditional love and approval.


I have a second grader also.
It's funny but they are so excited to be "big kids" and tests are so exciting to them.
He has weekly math and spelling tests- one on Thursday and one on Monday. It's just the week in review but the boys feel so excited calling it a test.

Op, is the test of reasonable standards for the age? Is there a specific section she got wrong? Is she consistently getting the same answers wrong?

My son's math is basic double digit addition and subtraction (no carrying or borrowing). They had 7 sections on their test.
1) addition across
2) addition down
3) subtraction across
4) subtraction down
5) mixed across
6) mixed down
7) 3 word problems

I would advise that you start with looking at the test, ignore the grades, but look at what she got right or wrong. Is there a pattern? Is she confusing columns? Confusing numbers?
Don't get hooked on the grade but do look at what and how she's getting right and wrong
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amother




Orange
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:26 am
OP, I have an MS in education and please don't rush to get your child a tutor. She might just need you to explain it at home in a more relaxed setting. There are so many factors that could have resulted in 58. I'm going to guess that your parents took your marks pretty seriously and this is how you feel. I look at some of my kids report cards and I know they do not reflect my kids abilities. But I'm really happy that they don't take school too seriously. Of course your child needs to have the foundations in place but please give her and yourself some time to see if she just needs a little review or some other minor intervention. If she needs more intense intervention then you can get her tutors in the future.
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Shuly




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 8:30 am
I don't think any kids can be blamed for not doing well this year after they hardly had normal school last year. Especially in second grade when they barely had first grade to teach them the basics.

You might just need a high school girl to do her homework with her.
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amother




Strawberry
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:17 am
amother [ Thistle ] wrote:
Who cares about math and test marks, seriously, as a teacher you should know this. (Yes I'm a teacher)


This.
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amother




Junglegreen
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:24 am
Sometimes the issue can be the teacher. That's not to say the teacher isn't good, but sometimes different kids need different styles of learning.
My niece is the creative type and she would have done really well with a creative teacher who made learning more fun and motivated her. Last year her teacher was not like that and she ended the year barely able to read and hating school. This year, she has a really good teacher who gets her and she loves learning.
I really wouldn't jump to worse case scenarios here. It could be she needs a little more support, or someone to explain how to do the math a different way. Or she could be like many of us and not good at math. Considering today's society, most of us will use our phones to work out sums or put it into google, so does it matter so much if she's not top in math?
My mom used to tell us she didn't care what grade we got, as long as we'd tried. And that's something I try to do with my own kids.
Keep an eye on it, don't stress about it, and see how she gets on at the end of the term. Remember she hasn't been in school that long, between yom tov, she hasn't really been in school long enough for the teacher to know her that well, or even for her to know the material properly.
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:11 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
OP, I have an MS in education and please don't rush to get your child a tutor. She might just need you to explain it at home in a more relaxed setting.


In their case, a tutor might be the more relaxed setting. A tutor is less emotionally invested in the child's performance.
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:48 pm
amother [ Chambray ] wrote:
In their case, a tutor might be the more relaxed setting. A tutor is less emotionally invested in the child's performance.


Agree with this
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