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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Oct 24 2021, 1:37 pm
2 issues here. Im so tired of hearing that I'm jealous of my sister in laws. Any time I want something he my husband tells me I'm jealous. For example, I asked if we can go on a vacation (we havnt been for 9 yrs now) and my husband said oh you want to go because your jealous of x (sil).
Also, I'm so tired of all the comparing to my sins. My husband constantly tells me how one sister in law is so amazing because she's always visiting my in laws and I don't. Or how my other sister in laws parents are such rightouss people and my parents aren't.
Last night I got so fed up with all of this I just left. I went driving around for 1 hour just crying. I just can't deal anymore.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 1:40 pm
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Sorry I'm not sure how this fell under rosh hashana Yom kippr category. I meant to put it under shalom bayis. Not sure how to change it now.
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 1:42 pm
Oh, this is so hard.
Start comparing him to your brothers and Bils. He'll go quiet very fast.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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Cookin4days
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 1:42 pm
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The only issue here is your husband you need to tell your husband he needs to stop comparing you all. You need to explain to him how unfair and rude it is. Imagine you started comparing him to your brother in laws
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amother
OP
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 3:14 pm
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It hurts me so much. I still can't stop crying since last night.
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amother
Tanzanite
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 3:18 pm
So sorry!
Never a good idea to compare
Really not ok
How would he feel if you did that to him? Does he hear you?
You are right that is Shalom bayis and not about sils
Hugs and hatzlocha
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amother
Firebrick
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Sun, Oct 24 2021, 3:39 pm
The next time your husband says this, play it back to him:
“Oh, SIL X is so amazing? How would you like it if I brought up BIL Y instead? How would you feel?”
Point out the comparison and stress you never want him to bring them up again.
When you want a vacation, say that you want one for the sake of your own family, not anyone else’s. And that if he’s so insecure, maybe he should look into getting therapy.
(Seriously, keep putting all this jealousy back on him where it belongs. He’s projecting)
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