S/o encouraging disordered eating

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:24 pm

On the other thread I was told I was being rude and negative because I said these diet threads where posters list what they eat in a day attract a certain crowd. I.e people with disordered eating.

So we are just supposed to stay quiet while posters list unhealthy eating plans and allow other posters to encourage them? I don't think imamother should be a safe space for disordered eating.

I don't think anyone should be encouraged to follow eating plans that include counting cheerios and filling up on many cups of coffee a day.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:28 pm

Well I would argue that anyone following a restrictive diet with the intention of doing so in the short term is doing something wrong. There is a rebound effect, and if you're not making permanent changes, you're better off doing nothing than losing 20 lb in a month, only to regain more later.

That being said, I wouldn't say that on the diet thread itself. I don't think they'd be open to hearing it.

amother

Clear

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:31 pm

I also thought the meal plan she posted was pretty measly, but I don't think it will actual cause anyone else to all of a sudden have disordered patterns and I don't think saying something will actually help/prevent anything. Disordered eating is so much more complex than that, our posts here aren't causing or preventing, let's not kid ourselves. Live and let live.

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:35 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

I disagree. There are online platforms to support anorexia. You would be surprised how competitive and contagious anorexia is. I don't think imamother should be a platform for eating disorders.

amother

Snowdrop

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:37 pm

Reality wrote:

What do you hope to gain by telling someone they are eating too little, or all the wrong foods, or.....whatever? Even if a person doesn't have the means to see a nutritionist, there is a whole world of books on nutrition - not to mention the internet. You think people can't figure out that they are starving? This eating comes from desperation and isn't going to stop because you tell them to stop.

Signed,
Imamother with severe eating disorder

amother

Clear

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:38 pm

amother [ Tanzanite ] wrote:

And that's an easy to say when you don't have 200 lbs to lose. Every single diet has a rebound effect. I actually find that the very restrictive diets that help you lose a lot very quickly are most ideal - for me - because I can actually lose the weight rapidly enough that it has a long term effect. (Meaning, if I can lose 100 lbs in 6 months, I'm way better off than a different diet in which I lost 12 lbs in 6 months. The weight gain, in my extensive experience, is no quicker following a restrictive diet or a more moderate diet, and it takes a lot longer to regain the 100 lbs lost in 6 months than the 12 lbs lost in 6 months. (The first 12 lbs can come back in one measly month bringing me right beck to square one.)

Really don't judge someone until you are in their shoes. Everyone is just trying to do their best. There is no one dieting answer/ eating method that works for everyone and it's really not our place to criticize someone else's dieting decisions (even if you are a nutritionist) unless they came to you specifically to ask for your specific opinions.

amother

Clear

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:40 pm

If it bothers someone to see the "bad" decisions (all very relative and debatable) others are making on a dieting thread, and especially if you yourself are not currently dieting - then that thread is really not the place for you. You really shouldn't be following...

Also, we really don't know the posters history. Maybe she is post bariatric surgery and has to eat very small amounts. Maybe she is a recovering bulimic and for her that's major progress. Maybe she has an insanely slow metabolism and eating more than that will result in weight gain. We really don't know. Judging and posting comments about it can only cause them pain and will do no good.

amother

Clear

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:42 pm

Reality wrote:

I disagree. There are online platforms to support anorexia. You would be surprised how competitive and contagious anorexia is. I don't think imamother should be a platform for eating disorders.

This is hardly that. I follow that thread closely. It was far from people encouraging anorexia.

OOTforlife

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:48 pm

Reality wrote:

The poster to whom you responded, andrea levy, was a good example of a helpful comment that actually addresses the concern you are raising. She informed the poster who underate that her daily intake was not healthy if done on a regular basis and also not sustainable. And the poster agreed. Your remark about "a certain crowd" offered the undereating poster no helpful information to modify her own intake, and generally came off as a snarky one-liner and yes, rude. If that was not your intent, ok, but that's how I saw it as a third party. If you want to raise awareness of an issue in the future, I recommend being informative and actually sounding like you want to help the people you are purportedly concerned about.

amother

Raspberry

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:51 pm

If someone doesn't eat well for one day it does not mean that they have an eating disorder/disordered eating.

That thread actually had quite wholesome eating plans.
Would you have commented if someone wrote "today I ate more than I should've. I had kokosh cake and ice cream for breakfast, 3 slices of pizza for lunch and chinese takeout for supper"?
Op I think something is triggering you.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:53 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

Agree. Your comment was very unhelpful and out of place on that thread. The words “certain crowd” made every poster feel horrible for being part of said crowd.
The only thing it could’ve accomplished is discourage others from posting and encouraging each other on that thread.
There’s a way to say things without putting others down.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 12:54 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

True, you are correct. Thanks for pointing that out, I really should be more careful with blanket statements.

I still stand by what I said, but you're right, there are exceptions.

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:01 pm

amother [ Clear ] wrote:

This is hardly that. I follow that thread closely. It was far from people encouraging anorexia.

Do you know anything about anorexia? Anorexics don't go from eating normally to eating 4 cheerios in a day. It's a slow process of restricting.

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:19 pm

amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:

I know all too well that telling a person with an eating disorder does nothing.

My point in posting was for the people reading that thread. For the person on the edge who may read that and get a good idea and copy them not realizing they are about to go over a precipice. And it's so hard to overcome that mountain. Isn't it worth it to try to save someone from falling?

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:49 pm

Your post came off not only as rude because of the way you addressed the issue, but also as inappropriate.

If you read through the whole thread, you would see that the amother you were criticizing said more than once in the thread not to push yourself not to eat. That poster never at any point encouraged people to restrict food intake.

Also, the posters in the thread were not recommending their personal diet as a meal plan. They seemed to be sharing for the sake of accountability.

I agree with the previous poster who said you seemed triggered and are peojecting your own issues onto another poster. If that is the case, you should not be following that thread.
If your intent was truly to help others, that your really should re-evaluate how you communicate with others because you really missed the mark there.

OOTforlife

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:50 pm

Zehava wrote:

Agree that triggering eating disorders is a dangerous game to play. Would y’all be cool with a thread discussing different methods of self-harm like cutting, burning etc.?

There is no such thing as a reasonable amount of self-cutting or burning. Whereas weight loss and monitoring one's diet are things that can be done responsibly.

A better analogy would be a thread discussing cocktails and fancy liquors. I imagine on such a thread you might have a lot of posters who partake in a healthy manner and also the thread would inevitably attract alcoholics.

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:51 pm

OOTforlife wrote:

I didn't think I was being snarky. I thought I was hinting without spelling things out. When I got attacked by many posters I realized I should have spelled it out.

Reality

Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:53 pm

Zehava wrote:

Agree that triggering eating disorders is a dangerous game to play. Would y’all be cool with a thread discussing different methods of self-harm like cutting, burning etc.?

Thank you.

Disordered eating is so prevalent in our community. Most people don't want to hear.