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I’m at my wits end… homesick DD
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:00 pm
What has helped you?

What have you done that has worked?

At this point I’m open to anything.
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English3




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:12 pm
Can you give more info? Age and place.
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Thisisnotmyreal




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:12 pm
Homesick means she's not having fun or speaking to you too often or both.
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:13 pm
Where do you live that camp started already??
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amother




Peru
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:19 pm
If she doesn't want to go to camp, don't make her. Let her decide for herself, in her own time.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:23 pm
Is this the first week of camp - why is she away from home.

In my experience many children have an adjustment period when they are away from home for the first time especially if they don't know anyone.

Unless it is something specific in terms of people being mean or bad conditions, just reassure her that things will work out. I would imagine that within a few days she doesn't want to leave as she settles in and finds a friend to hang with.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:36 pm
She’s 9.5. We live in Lakewood.

She’s not in camp. Talking about an overnight or shabbos at a friend. Etc.
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amother




Hunter
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:37 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She’s 9.5. We live in Lakewood.

She’s not in camp. Talking about an overnight or shabbos at a friend. Etc.

What's the urgency to have overnights or shabbos at a friend? She's so young.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:39 pm
If I have a simcha…

Dh and I went away this week shabbos for a small vacation and she was miserable.

I’m due in a few weeks iyh and I don’t know how she’ll handle being away while I recover.
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abound




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:40 pm
she seems too young for overnights or shabbos at a freind, unless mom had a baby or some urgent reasin that she needs to be out. It might be better to wait
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amother




Hunter
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If I have a simcha…

Dh and I went away this week shabbos for a small vacation and she was miserable.

I’m due in a few weeks iyh and I don’t know how she’ll handle being away while I recover.


Again.. she's very young. Plenty of kids her age are homesick. Is there a reason she needs to go away when you have a baby? It sounds like she's not ready for that.
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English3




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:41 pm
This is something that has to be done in a process.
First leave her by someone for a couple of hours. Then over night.
Have her take an item with her from home.
Make sure she has all her comforts.
Discuss with her what she feels.
Tell her you're going to kiss in to a bag and when she needs one she should take it out.
Have a plan what to do when she is sad.
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:42 pm
deleted as I see it's not about camp

Last edited by Chayalle on Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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heidi




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:42 pm
She shouldn't have to be away. Or sleep over anyone's house if she doesn't want to. It sounds awfully selfish of you to be at your wit's end because you want to go away. She's a young child who needs her parents. She should be your priority
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amother




Trillium
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:46 pm
heidi wrote:
She shouldn't have to be away. Or sleep over anyone's house if she doesn't want to. It sounds awfully selfish of you to be at your wit's end because you want to go away. She's a young child who needs her parents. She should be your priority


This is a bit over the top. Sometimes people have to go away. And yes to be a good parent sometimes you have to do things for your mental health too.
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amother




Ultramarine
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:46 pm
Why would she have to go away when you have a baby? She's the best age to have at home with a newborn - young enough to still be happy to run and get a diaper or a glass of water, and old enough not to be constantly needy.

As she gets older, it will be easier for her to handle homesickness. I wouldn't push her until she is ready.
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heidi




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:50 pm
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
This is a bit over the top. Sometimes people have to go away. And yes to be a good parent sometimes you have to do things for your mental health too.

You can do things for yourself when your child is in school or home with her father.
Unless there is an extreme emergency I'm not understanding why people have to go away.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 3:50 pm
Depending on the context this can be entirely developmentally appropriate, or a sign of separation anxiety
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amother




Camellia
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 4:10 pm
I can’t imagine why a child that age would need to be away while you recover. It’s not like (example) a 2.5 year old whose fully dependent on you. At that age she likely showers and dresses herself, puts herself to bed, knows how to
Read and play independently etc. keep her home
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amother




Melon
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 4:28 pm
this age child needs a mom's listening ear, PP this could take a toll on OP's mental strenth.

if this is not an issue then consider leaving her home.
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