PSA: when davening for moshiach

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 12:02 am

This is a PSA to all posters that are incredibly rude and mean to others. When you daven for moshiach, take a minute to think why moshiach isn't here yet and what you can do to help moshiach come faster.
It's awful what's been going on here lately. Many a thread has left me in tears seeing how badly frum women are treating others. It's so embarrassing. And heartbreaking.
So dear rude poster, when you daven for moshiach, take a minute to stop and think. Davening and hoping for moshiach, doesn't go together with hurting others.
Thank you

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 12:07 am

amother Mint wrote:

Do people who speak rudely realize they are being rude?
I mean this genuinely.

I don't believe that it's possible to post incredibly mean posts and not realize that it's hurtful. (Unless they're mentally ill or something.) Some people are just not nice and thrive on posting mean things.
I don't mean posts that can be interpreted wrong. I mean outright nasty posts that leaves the mouth hanging agape and the heart hurting.

yiddishmom

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 12:17 am

I agree with you OP. But realize that these women are obviously hurting and have deep scars, that's the only reason they are rude. It's not you.

amother

Dandelion

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 12:59 am

I think a lot of people don't realize they need to have good manners and social skills on social media. They're so used typing anything into their phone, as if no one's on the other end, but at the same time they expect to be heard, and a response.

I see it all the time on whatsapp. Someone anonymous texted me recently: "is your daughter walking in the morning to school?" No name, not saved to my contacts, no introduction of who is asking me this. My first thought: a kidnapper! Maybe I'm an old geezer and this is normal for the younger generation.

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:37 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

I think there's a difference with lack of manners that is typical when texting, to outright bullying, nastiness, and rudeness.
The bolded is not rude or nasty, it's just casual & improper.

amother

Daphne

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:00 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Do people who speak rudely realize they are being rude?
I mean this genuinely.

no they dont. Asked dh right before tisha bav how hes fasting if hes so mean to my fam. He looked shocked sheichus. "their not frum enough!"

amother

Dandelion

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think there's a difference with lack of manners that is typical when texting, to outright bullying, nastiness, and rudeness.
The bolded is not rude or nasty, it's just casual & improper.

I think it starts with casual and improper. People don't care how they sound.

amother

DarkGreen

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 3:26 pm

amother Dandelion wrote:

In her defence she might have your number saved. My phone recently reset itself and I lost some contacts I had made in the past year. So I would have someone text me a familiar sounding message and I had no idea who it was. And there was the should I have the awkward sorry who is this, or should I guess by context who it might be.

watergirl

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 3:31 pm

When I read the mean comments, I remember that hurt people hurt people. That makes it easier for me to keep scrolling and feel bad for the person who is writing so unkindly. We have all had those days, I certainly know that I have. When I catch myself in one of those days, I turn off the computer. It’s taken me years before I was able to filter myself like that (in general). it’s a skill.