S/o minhagim being taken too far.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 1:34 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Even if they're not selling anything surely they still do kol chamira?

That's why I think he's abusive, or she should stand up for herself, it's totally unnecessary to clean every crumb, she literally cleans every book and sefer even if they won't be used on Pesach!!

crust

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 1:51 pm

watergirl wrote:

I am not OP, and this is a genuine post. I am truly wanting to understand.

The bolded - re: Pesach is about family mesorah - I only see that sentiment on this site. I've been frum for over 20 years BH and have never heard anyone say that Pesach is based on family mesorah. Where does this concept come from?

Where I come from, EVERYTHING has to do with rabbonim. You can never go wrong when you consult your own Daas Torah. We don't take on or drop just stam. It's also a halacha that we don't add or take away from the Torah.

I would like to understand. If you can point me in the direction of a source or two (I am honestly not saying this to challenge you, I know that's how it's often said on this site), I would appreciate it. I've just literally never heard anyone say in real life that Pesach is all about mesorah and minhag.

Yes sure it is a long and intelligent discussion to be had. I just don't have the time today.

Just know that in my circles and the chassidish circles in general we admire mesorah and minhag especially on Pesach.

And no, not just 'because we decided to make it a yt of Minhag' like a poster said.

There are many sources for this based on Chassidish and other mekoros.

Maybe I'll return to this one day.

amother

Orange

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:41 pm

aren't there Yekkes who don't eat chicken on Pesach?

There are legitimate reasons for some minhagim.

My family are super strict, my husbands a lot more chilled. We meet somewhere in the middle. And pretty meikel for small kids.

For example my family would not use items that dropped on the floor, used different knives for peeling and chopping, almost no processed food. I starved all pesach since my mother made pretty boring food and no dessert except fruit and there was nothing to eat between meals except fruit, avocados and matza.

foreverforward

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 2:44 pm

watergirl wrote:

If you are getting into the nitty gritty of what is a chumrah, what is minhag, what is mesorah, and what is HALACHA, and then bringing in the example of why we eat matzah - no, we do not do this because it's mesorah. We do not eat bread, and we eat matzah because it's a mitzvah d'Oraisa (it's an eid, not a chok, not a mishpat).

Mitzvos d'Oraisa have a completely different reason than any other thing we do. PLEASE do not conflate a mitzvah d'Oraisa with a chumrah/minhag/mesorah, it's very dangerous.

this this and this
I cant say it enough

amother

Hyssop

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:00 pm

cnc wrote:

Interestingly enough- I know someone who only drinks from glass seltzer bottles and grape juice and no other drinks ….
I hadn’t realized it’s the plastic that’s the issue .

I know someone who only drinks glass gj and glass seltzer all year round because they feel that bringing plastic to the shabbos table is not b'chavodig.

amother

Candycane

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:38 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Excuse me.

My father is one of the worlds leading kashrus professionals. The Badatz Yerushalayim Eidah HaChareidus, Chassidish, Chabad leaders rely on his word.

High quality hechsherim DO NOT rely on Kulos for Pesach.

Yours is a post that is a great example of misinformation that can hurt people; women can read and believe it’s falsehood, and needlessly create tremendous stress due to your lie.

My father works on Pesach productions all year round. The hechsherim he is involved with are extremely strict about their Pesach certifications.

One example: There are ingredients referred to as Group 1, which do not need a hechsher. For example, water, fruits, many chemicals, etc. All year round, there is much less oversight of factories that manufacture/ package Group Ones. For Pesach, there’s far more oversight, even though, for example, a factory that does nothing but make apple butter, whose only ingredients are apples and water, cannot possibly have any chometz or Kitniyos on its premises, the Hechsherim still oversee production far more carefully for Pesach than year round.

I’m sorry.
Would I be able to contact you or your father to ask my questions to?

amother

Candycane

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:48 pm

gamanit wrote:

What do you do for beverages? No bottled drinks? Or only glass seltzer bottles? (I don't know of any other drink that you can buy in glass bottles)

We only drink water or homemade juice. For trips we fill up glass or metal water bottles.
We make our own wine and grape juice so that’s not a problem.
Any ingredient which touches plastic which is minimal because most things we buy by the case is washed well

Highstrung

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:49 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

Some of these things are OCD that an ancestor had and was afraid about and instilled those restrictions to pass down for generations on pesach. There I said it.

I personally almost created a “minhag” in my family because of seeing something at home and thinking it was a requirement or chumrah.
For years I’ve seen my parents use an old fashioned tea kettle with a spout for kashering . They called it the kashering kettle. When I was making my first Pesach , I told DH we need to get a kashering kettle. So we went to buy a tea kettle but nobody had the one I was looking for with a long spout. We went from store to store to store . Finally I found this massive kettle with a huge spout. It looked like my parents kashering kettle , but 4 times the size. It also cost over $50 (over 20 years ago) as opposed to a standard kettle for $10. The entire time my DH kept saying we don’t need this type of kettle and I was sure this is a family chumrah as we had used the same kettle since I was a baby.
Little did I know that my mother had this old kettle given to her second hand from a friend . When she saw she wouldn’t have use for it she said it would be a great kettle for kashering since the spout pours evenly and slowly . Hence she had this type of kashering kettle. But as a child seeing all of our minhagim, I assumed this was another one of them and was convinced this is a something we MUST do. It took me years to find out that I made up this minhag. And every Erev Pesach when it comes time to Kasher my DH teases me when I pull out this huge cumbersome kettle with a spout , reminding me about the Pesach minhag I made up.

Highstrung

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:50 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

I know someone who only drinks glass gj and glass seltzer all year round because they feel that bringing plastic to the shabbos table is not b'chavodig.

I actually know someone who says they only use glass gj all year round because it’s their family mesorah.

Amelia Bedelia

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:55 pm

Highstrung wrote:

Cute story.

Nice of your husband to go along with it, as he is not required to keep your family's minhagim, especially if he didn't understand it

amother

Green

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 4:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Did you read the ami living? The part where girls were telling of their interesting, and different minhagim.

The one that they can't use any plastics, not even plastic machinery got me! This is religious ocd!! It's insanity.

Women are falling apart enough over making pesach, men shouldn't be making it harder for their wives by forcing on them crazy hard chumras. The kids suffer too!

It's not insane. They don't use recycled products

Highstrung

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 5:01 pm

Amelia Bedelia wrote:

Cute story.

Nice of your husband to go along with it, as he is not required to keep your family's minhagim, especially if he didn't understand it

This was another point. I was so insistent on keeping the chumros I grew up with because my parents were more machmir than DH’s family and I thought I was doing a “good” thing by being stricter , instead of doing the right thing by following DH. It took me another few years to letting it go. All that time , DH kept quiet and let me do my thing. I went about it totally the wrong way. This was a case where I thought being more machmir meant I was better.

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 6:20 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

DH's family eats no fish on Pesach. I always disliked this minhag but learned to accept it. His grandfather took on the minhag from his wife's family. DH was told a number of years ago that since it's his father's minhag, it's his mesorah and he needs to keep it. However, DH is planning to ask again, since at this point, he feels that it's ruining simchas yom tov for my kids (who wish they can have salmon), and I had such aggravation erev yom tov trying to get the falshe fish mixture to hold together. He wants to be matir neder.

Just pointing out even if you eat fish some would only eat carp. Fish that’s alive and shechted in front of you.

amother

Honey

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 6:31 pm

I actually appreciate hearing how others only use unprocessed foods pesach.
They kasher their own chicken and meat.
Bake their own matzah
Make their own must and wine.
Use only water from before pesach- kol chamura.
Some make potato starch, others skip it.
Crack and grind their own nuts.
Either milk cows themselves or skip dairy.
Eat only peelable vegetables.
Protein is meat and eggs. Some eat fish others only falsha fish.
Only liquid sugar- not sure what that is, and kosher salt.
No oil only shmaltz.

Some use No dishwashing soap or starch for ironing tablecloths.
Some use No plastic, others use no silver or polish unless they kasher after.

I feel the rest of the people who claim they don’t mish- mish according to their grandparents comfort zone…aka his one couldn’t live without coffee so all his descendants use coffee, that one couldn’t skip dairy…so all descendants use dairy etc…which is obviously just weird!

out-of-towner

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 6:41 pm

Highstrung wrote:

I actually know someone who says they only use glass gj all year round because it’s their family mesorah.

For Kedem Grape Juice, the glass bottles are non-Mevushal verses the plastic ones that are Mevushal. Some people hold that using non-Mevushal is better for Kiddush, so that may be the reason. Same with the Kedem wine.

My grandparents would almost never bring a Grape juice bottle to the table Altz Kavod for Shabbos and YT. They put it into a decanter. Personally I don't do that (and I use plastic as well).

amother

Daylily

Tue, Apr 11 2023, 6:42 pm

Highstrung wrote:

I actually know someone who says they only use glass gj all year round because it’s their family mesorah.

Would love to understand the underpinnings of the no plastic use. Plastic is everywhere - starting from milk products, to meat packaging, to almost all of the packaged foods we buy. Do those who hold by it, not buy any product thats wrapped in plastic? When they buy produce, what do the place it in? Do they not use plastic containers for storage? Only use linen and glass for tableware?

And if they don't buy food items wrapped in plastic, are they buying the ones wrapped in some sort of paper? Isn't paper more of a concern in regards to starch than plastic? Really looking to understand how this works and what the custom is based upon.