Help guest is not leaving

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:15 pm

I have an older single never married guy by me that was supposed to have left.
He is a very nice intelligent person but a typical bachelor and doesn’t get some social cues.
He had plans that fell through and is not leaving. The whole day he kept telling me he is getting sick and can’t drive home.
What do I do? My family is supposed to go to my daughter for a bbq and this guy is sleeping on my couch.
He is in no rush to leave. I feel bad for him because everyone he is trying to get in touch with has plans with family and he has no one.
Help what should I do? I need to leave soon and he is fast asleep.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:17 pm

Why can’t he go home? Why does he need to go to someone else? Tell him you are leaving at xyz time and need him to be out by then. Spell it out if he doesn’t get your hints.

tichellady

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:19 pm

if he's too sick to drive I would just let him sleep on the couch for now. leave a note and go to your daughters for the bbq

NechaMom

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:19 pm

You are so nice for hosting him until now but it’s really fine to tell him now that time’s up. You don’t want to become resentful and not host again. Wake him and tell him you need to leave soon so he should get ready to leave as well.

imasinger

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:22 pm

Wake him up.

"I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to kick you out now, we have plans, and can't keep hosting. Would you like a ride home?"

amother

Rainbow

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:22 pm

tichellady wrote:

if he's too sick to drive I would just let him sleep on the couch for now. leave a note and go to your daughters for the bbq

It's not a good idea to leave a stranger alone in your home.

amother

Blushpink

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:24 pm

I have kids who get sick very easily and wheeze forever once they do. If I had a guest that was sick, I would be having mini conniptions. Also no one stays in my home if I am not there.

amother

Bisque

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:24 pm

agree
wake him up
and if he is getting sick he really needs to get home
some people need very clear firm boundaries
hatzlocha

tichellady

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:32 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

It's not a good idea to leave a stranger alone in your home.

I didn't get the impression he was a stranger

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:35 pm

He is such a gentle and kind and caring person but a bit needy. He is a frum guy but wanted me to feel his forehead to see if he has a fever.
He is in such a deep sleep I can’t wake him. I need to leave in an hour.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:36 pm

He said that he has a migraine and can’t drive the two hours back home and no one along the way is available for him to go to.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:54 pm

zaq wrote:

Worst comes to worst, put him in a cab. You need him out of there.

A cab is about $150 which I don’t have.

amother

Stone

Sun, May 28 2023, 3:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

He said that he has a migraine and can’t drive the two hours back home and no one along the way is available for him to go to.

Is there a bus?
Can you get your dh to wake him?
This sounds so difficult!

seeker

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:00 pm

Another vote for leave a note and let him sleep. Hopefully he will wake up with the headache gone and see himself out. If you're all going out then you don't have concerns about him being alone with your kids, and from the little you've described I don't see a reason to worry that he's going to rob or destroy your house while you're away either. I get that it's uncomfortable but as a one time thing you may need to let that go.

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

He is such a gentle and kind and caring person but a bit needy. He is a frum guy but wanted me to feel his forehead to see if he has a fever.

Oh my! I think you need someone of his own gender to deal with him. If your dh isn't available then can you get a male relative or neighbor to get him out of the house? He needs to leave regardless of how sick he is. He can rent a hotel room if need be.

amother

Tuberose

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:00 pm

Do you have a neighbor with a trust worthy teen son who can "guest sit". The coach sleeper sounds like he's not in a state to leave.

amother

Stone

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:05 pm

I'm wondering if any of your rooms have locks so you can feel more secure locking up most of the rooms while you're out, if you have no choice but to leave him on the couch.

ETA or some kind of video camera to monitor things that you can check from your phone?

seeker

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:06 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

He's overstayed his welcome by a few hours due to a migraine so he needs to find a hotel?

I haven't seen op mention that he's a total creep and user. Just something of a nebach.

Why all the drama?