Help guest is not leaving

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:08 pm

I'm not worried about him stealing anything but I just remembered that my daughter is coming home from work and needs to get dressed for a date so there is no way I could leave him.
This is beyond frustrating.

amother

Magenta

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:10 pm

Hmm awkward.

Is it yichud aswel?

Would your husband be able to speak to him?

seeker

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oof that does change things. Confused

How much time do you have before then? How far away is the BBQ you're going to - can you go for starters and then come back in an hour to make another attempt to wake up the guest and get him on his way?

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:13 pm

seeker wrote:

He's overstayed his welcome by a few hours due to a migraine so he needs to find a hotel?

I haven't seen op mention that he's a total creep and user. Just something of a nebach.

Why all the drama?

Your correct he is not a creep at all but a highly intelligent nebach who happens to be a doctor and lectures to his peers.
But that said I need him out
I really think it's psychological he is lonely with no family and he feels very comfortable here so he got a migraine. He was fine all Yom tov until he needed to leave.

bebrave

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:25 pm

I'd shoo him out! for sure sounds creepy from what you've explained! Where's your DH? You can choose to be nice about it if you want but get him out fast

ra_mom

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:27 pm

Prepare a tea and Motrin, then call out his name loudly and once he's up say I'm so sorry but I need you to leave by 5pm as we have a prior engagement here. Here's some Motrin and a tea, I hope your migrane goes away quickly. Is there anything you need from me, to help you get out by 5pm?

amother

Bisque

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:34 pm

yes
I would tell him the reality

"so sorry we loved having you but today is a busy day lotta moving parts and going to get complicated and trust me you really need to go now"

I would have dh tell him and help him pack up and move out the door

it is what it is

amother

Marigold

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

You are in a sticky position.

He is a nebach and not dangerous or a potential thief.

However you mention he is a doctor - he can afford to stay at a hotel if he can't drive him. There must be a motel or hotel relatively close to you - you can drive him or an UBER would be inexpensive.

amother

Pink

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:34 pm

Get one of your boys to wake him up NOW. Tell him you're really sorry but he needs to leave now. Don't feel sorry for him. Ask him if he can drive otherwise he should also himself an Uber. Otherwise order him a cab and obviously he should pay for the cab himself, as a doctor he can afford it.

isrmss91

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:39 pm

wake him up. Tell him your daughter is coming home, (no need to mention she has to prepare for a date) and halachically, they cannot be in the house together. He has to go. You did a wonderful thing hosting him and now he must leave. Sorry take a motrin or something. As a Doctor, he should know better.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:47 pm

amother Stone wrote:

Is there really no bus you can put him on to his hometown?

No he has too many packages with him because he came by car.

amother

Stone

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

No he has too many packages with him because he came by car.

Can he sleep in his car?

amother

Feverfew

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:55 pm

There was a warning letter in our community about a guest that has been making the rounds here in NYC. Gives a million excuses not to leave nice people's houses. Once it's 30 days in your home the police can't come and kick em out because they have squatters rights and you need court to evict. Only in ny, baby!

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 28 2023, 4:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

No he has too many packages with him because he came by car.

It's not going to work to send him home a different way because how will he get his car? He should find somewhere else to go if he really feels like he can't drive.

amother

Sun, May 28 2023, 5:17 pm

Ok b"h I woke him and he is packing up which will take another half hour because he keeps on talking.
But I need to leave.

amother

Stone

Sun, May 28 2023, 5:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ok b"h I woke him and he is packing up which will take another half hour because he keeps on talking.
But I need to leave.

Leave the room, or put on earbuds, or make a phone call. Great that you got him up!

zaq

Sun, May 28 2023, 7:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

A cab is about $150 which I don’t have.

No, you don't pay the cab--he does.