Why so much intolerance for others

amother

Wed, May 31 2023, 2:40 pm

I was out with my niece and her kids the other day. All the boys are 11 and under. I took out my smartphone, and her son called me a [gentile] and threatened to take my phone away and break it. They have those horrible anti smartphone cards, and they think its perfectly OK to call an adult and children non jews.

Why are they being taught in school and in their community to be so intolerant to other groups of Jews.

For the record they are chasidish and I'm more modern. I should of told them that their great grandparents have smartphones and all but 2 of their frum uncles and aunties have also.

What is wrong with teaching kids to be tolerant towards others?

amother

Lilac

Wed, May 31 2023, 2:50 pm

do you know if their parents mind that you use that kind of phone with their kids around?
what are you acting like you don't know?

amother

Stonewash

Wed, May 31 2023, 2:51 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

do you know if their parents mind that you use that kind of phone with their kids around?
what are you acting like you don't know?

Suddenly we can’t use a smartphone in front of chassidish kids?
Op was maybe making a phone call? Is that not allowed?
Sheesh

Jewishmom8

Wed, May 31 2023, 2:54 pm

amother Stonewash wrote:

Suddenly we can’t use a smartphone in front of chassidish kids?
Op was maybe making a phone call? Is that not allowed?
Sheesh

those are her nephews. not "chasidish kids"
I think that tolerance goes both ways.
if she KNEW they don't approve of smart phones then she is not being tolerant of their preferences and choices.

amother

Orchid

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:00 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

do you know if their parents mind that you use that kind of phone with their kids around?
what are you acting like you don't know?

And there you have it. Yes the adults feel so threatened by a smartphone they act as if it's a cheeseburger. "Do not bring it in my home, it is disrespectful for it to be seen."Thus the children react as if it's a cheese burger and cannot for the life of them understand why a yid is engaging in an aveirah of this magnitude and acting like a non jew.

amother

Stoneblue

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:05 pm

I don't allow my kids to touch or look at things on a smartphone. And my sister cannot tolerate that. She purposely shows my kids things on her phone and lets them play with it. She thinks I'm abusing my kids....
(But no, my kids do NOT have those awful cards and do NOT talk down at others for having a smartphone. They don't go to such type of schools and I do not allow those cards or such disrespectful talk. I also don't talk against smartphones.) Yet my sister will purposely show them things because she thinks I'm sheltering them too much.

amother

Brass

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:11 pm

My kids are ultra Chassidish and would NEVER speak to others with such disrespect. They also get these cards in Cheder.

Sorry but this is terrible parenting, nothing to do with the cards (which are also stupid and terrible btw)

crust

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:14 pm

I hate the cards and the attitude but respect goes both ways.

You know your family.
You know if their views are limited.
You know their shortcomings.

Knowing all that you still chose to hang out with your neice and her kids.

You can be more mindful and respect her values even if her values appear screwed up to you.

If she can listen then I would ask very gently if it doesn't bother her that her kids have this attitude?

Jewishmom8

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:14 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

I would be humiliated to be seen using a smartphone. I think it's really bad for everyone. I hope my kids have a strong reaction to being asked to touch a phone.
there are not a small group of people who feel like I do and its just a fact.
it's not a cheeseburger though and I hope my kids are always respectful especially to older family members like an aunt.
see I respect them I don't get that same tolerance back.
I hope my kids feel the same way. .
you do you but you have to respect other points of view.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:25 pm

Jewishmom8 wrote:

I am yeshivish and don't have a smart phone, but why are you on imamother if smartphones are soooo terrible??? I understand if you say you need internet for work, I just don't get it...

Jewishmom8

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:26 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

I am yeshivish and don't have a smart phone, but why are you on imamother if smartphones are soooo terrible??? I understand if you say you need internet for work, I just don't get it...

I am not using a smart phone now.
and your point it?

amother

Tangerine

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:29 pm

im just trying to understand where you are coming from.
Smartphones and computers have a lot of similarities so if a smartphone is so bad why is internet for pleasure on a computer ok???

amother

Navyblue

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:31 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

I am yeshivish and don't have a smart phone, but why are you on imamother if smartphones are soooo terrible??? I understand if you say you need internet for work, I just don't get it...

Also wondering…

Jewishmom8

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:32 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

im just trying to understand where you are coming from.
Smartphones and computers have a lot of similarities so if a smartphone is so bad why is internet for pleasure on a computer ok???

first of all calm down.
I do not need to justify or explain my choices to you or to anyone.
I will say however there is a lot more wrong with it besides the internet.
you can think of things yourself.

Ema of 5

Wed, May 31 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

do you know if their parents mind that you use that kind of phone with their kids around?
what are you acting like you don't know?

She said she was out WITH HER NIECE and her kids, so presumably the niece, their mother, knew. My question is what was the niece/mother’s reaction to OP taking out her phone, but also to what her son said.