I feel guilty | Imamother

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 9:25 am

I live OOT and there’s only one store that sells cholov Yisroel. At nine months pregnant I don’t feel like I can make it to the store. My nausea from the first trimester has returned with a vengeance. I went to the grocery store by my daughters daycare and bought us cholov stam yogurts because I didn’t think I could make the shlep to the one store where I could get CY. Basically, it’s not the biggest deal for me or my family (we’re not strictly cy, it’s more like something we’ve decided to do in the past couple months and are working on the transition) I didn’t even know from kosher growing up so I like to make changes slowly in order to become accustomed to them. But at the same time I feel guilty. Like if I let this slide, what will I let slide next?

amother

Diamond

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 9:57 am

I’m not going to get into the whole CY discussion (we have a ‘mixed marriage’), just touch on what you said at the end. When it comes to something you are working on and trying to be more machmir in, make yourself some boundaries and you’ll have a system for yourself that you feel good about. Being 9 months pregnant is hard, but establish a couple of rules for yourself for after birth if you want to keep doing this. For example: Wait two days before getting the non CY item, call DH to discuss it, try to get something else instead… and you then have a system that ensures you won’t succumb if it’s because of Taiva. If it’s a logical reason to get it it should ‘survive’ the rules. Don’t know if I’m making sense.
Personal example: As I said DH and I do diffi. We were in a small OOT community and we’re in the local store. They had a large variety of OUd items and DH got one. All of a sudden my brain started listing the many reasons I can get one. And I realized that’s pure physical impulse. It’s just because I want it now. That’s not a reason to break a chumra. Breaking a chumra for me is when there isn’t another feasible option, like all of my kids had OUd formula etc.

amother

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 10:15 am

Thanks for your response!
I found it helpful. Inspired me to stick to vegan things -like soy milk/ cheese etc, which are at worst DE.

I may have had to remove some “impulses” from my cart Very Happy

Hopefully this will tide us over until I’m able to make it to the other store

amother

Snowflake

Thu, Jun 15 2023, 10:36 am

When you are trying to better yourself in this area it’s hard enough to do without the chalav Stam product you are used to without the additional hardship of needing to go to another store while exhausted and pregnant. If this is something they you believe in and really want to do then you need to make a plan of how you can get these chalav Yisroel products into your house without the extra hassle otherwise you’ll just do it again (not saying it’s a terrible crime just giving the facts). You’ll be exhausted with a newborn, etc. Perhaps it means that DH does a weekly shopping trip to the kosher store and stocks up for the week. Basically when you take on a chumra you want to make it as easy as possible for you Otherwise it’s hard to stick to and then you feel guilty .