Shana bet if didn't grow shana aleph

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Seminary Info

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amother

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 7:02 pm

Would Shana bet be a good idea for a girl who did not grow during her Shana aleph year? If anything she went down a bit.

NechaMom

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 7:52 pm

Is she interested in going for a second year? I think it really depends on that.

zaq

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 7:55 pm

1. Can you afford it?
2. Why does she want to stay a second year?

amother

Aster

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 10:17 pm

Depending on her and her goals, the benefits of a second year might not outweigh the time and resources and money invested, especially if the desired areas of study and personal growth can be pursued through alternative means or experiences.

Can her desire for growth be done in other ways?

If not, certainly! If you have the financial means to support her second year of seminary, I highly recommend considering it, provided she has a genuine desire to continue her personal and spiritual growth.

Was she the one who told you that she felt she did not grow enough or did you just feel that she didn't?

If she was the one who told you that she felt she didn't grow enough:
If she expresses a sense of dissatisfaction with her current progress, it signifies her strong desire to further expand herself. In such a case, investing in a second year can effectively harness and fulfill her profound desire, allowing her to make the most out of the additional time and opportunities for growth in the second year.

It is important to acknowledge and honor her desire to continue growing. By investing in her second year of seminary, you are demonstrating your support for her aspirations and showing a commitment to her growth. It is an investment in her future and a recognition of the value she places on her own growth.

(Unless you cannot afford it. I personally would not be able to afford it)

It would be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with her about her goals, expectations, and the practical considerations involved. With careful consideration and thoughtful planning, you can make an informed decision that aligns with her aspirations and supports her ongoing desire for growth.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Jul 09 2023, 11:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 11:10 pm

We actually can't afford it. She wants to do a second year b/c she loves Israel and wants to stay there not b/c she wants to grow. Unfortunately she never expressed that she wants to learn and grow only that she loves Israel and hates where we live. If it would be beneficial for her I would borrow money to try and pay for it.

tichellady

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 11:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

she can move to israel. she doesn't have to go to seminary to be in israel

seeker

Sun, Jun 18 2023, 11:28 pm

If she loves Israel but not seminary let her look for a job and an apartment to live there with other single girls. If she's not ready (which makes a lot of sense at seminary age) then let her have that goal in mind when she goes back home, she can work towards it and make aliyah when she's ready.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 1:04 am

Just to add, after sending a few girls already BH to send. I have found a lot of growth (from the SEM year) comes once they get back, sometimes they only process and digest and make choices after.
just something to consider.

Rappel

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 1:19 am

She can apply for sheirut leumi

amother

Lily

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 8:50 am

Why do you feel obligated to pay for shana bet when you really can't afford it?

amother

Strawberry

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 9:01 am

Can she get a job as a madricha? then she is in the seminary atmosphere but with a salary. I don't think you should stretch to let her play for another year. There are many, many girls who are working.

Elfrida

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 9:29 am

tichellady wrote:

she can move to israel. she doesn't have to go to seminary to be in israel

Being in seminary is a very protected environment. It's not the same as living independently in Israel. If she goes back to America, what are her plans for next year? Could she look at studying here for her degree? She may not be ready for living and working in Israel (and in Hebrew!) but if she could be in a college environment that might give her the structure and support she needs.

University is much cheaper here than in America, and if she makes aliyah the government will cover it. You might find that the tuition and rent isn't much more than just tuition would be in America.

amother

Seablue

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 10:48 am

I have a friend whose daughters have both now made aliyah once they were old enough. They're living and studying in Israel. They have to make their own way though as they're not being supported. Depending on what society you're in, it can be more common that a girl will wait until she's married, but there are single girls as well who will make aliyah.

amother

Brown

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 11:32 am

If the girl wants to make aliyah, let her make aliyah under her own power. You don't have to finance it. It doesn't count as having "made Aliyah" if your parents are still supporting you. Furthermore, the fact that she loves a place is no reason for you to finance her living there. Your agreement was to send her to Israel for a year, period. If she'd done a gap year in Switzerland or Australia, would you consider yourselves obligated to keep her there for a second year because she loved it so much?

The fact that you can't afford it seals it for me. You already sacrificed to send her for a year, something you were not obligated to do. You're certainly not obligated to go into debt for a second year. ESPECIALLY since the first year seems not to have accomplished what you hoped it would. Why would you want to throw good money after bad.

amother

Narcissus

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 11:40 am

Makes no sense to me, even if it were free!

Sherut Leumi sounds like a great idea. If it doesn't fit with her hashkafa, then whatever Haredi women's college/career training program does fit

amother

Magnolia

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 2:02 pm

amother Brown wrote:

If the girl wants to make aliyah, let her make aliyah under her own power. You don't have to finance it. It doesn't count as having "made Aliyah" if your parents are still supporting you.

Why not? Making aliyah is making aliyah. It's moving to Israel and starting a life there.

I get the feeling that if she went back home, the parents would support her while she was in school. Why not do the same in Israel, where her education will be a whole lot less expensive, and possibly even free?

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 2:48 pm

amother Brown wrote:

Huh? Making aliyah literally means going up, as in going up to isrsel, as in going yo live there. Alitah is not about who is paying for rent and food and heat in the winter.
Of course its still actual aliyah.

ImmaBubby

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 4:17 pm

Don’t do it!!
There’s way less supervision of the shana bet girls. If she already “went down” in shana alef, I’d wonder if more freedom wasn’t exactly what she was looking for…
Not a good idea, in my opinion.

amother

Pear

Mon, Jun 19 2023, 4:26 pm

If the only reason is because she loves israel, let her rent an apartment with other girls and get a job in Israel. She can pay the rent from her income.

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