I'm so nervous about yk

amother

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:04 pm

Ugh I feel so guilty saying this but I just dread yk.

I'm not a great faster but dh is even worse so I can't count on him for anything. It's supposed to rain all day and I have 5 kids, ages 12 and under. My kids are terrible eaters and they kvetch a lot when they're hungry. I don't generally fight with them to eat and I don't plan to on yk either but I am concerned how they'll behave or not behave when they're hungry but don't want to eat.

I barely get to daven and I don't even care too much but I feel like I should. So I just end up feeling bad about myself.

I usually stop drinking coffee a week or two before yk so I shouldn't get a headache, this year I didn't.

My 1yr old is very clingy and my older ones can help with her for a few minutes here and there but not enough.

I just don't know how I'm gonna make it through this year without losing it. I'm scared.

amother

DarkOrange

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:10 pm

Can you get help from a teen or young girl?
You don't have to daven if u don't get to it, the day itself atones, as well as ur fasting.

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:12 pm

Just re: the caffeine, my dh who was a terrible faster due to the lack of caffeine recently started taking the slow release caffeine pills, and they've literally transformed his fast. From headaches a nd throwing up to feeling great, BH
He also takes slow release Tylenol
You can get it in any larger jewish grocery

amother

Papaya

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:14 pm

I'm also really nervous. DH has a chazzan job an hour away and is taking my big boys with him and leaving me home with my two littles. I'm a terrible faster, my kids are kvetches, there's no eruv where I live so I can't go out...
But it's one day. We will survive iyh. We can do this! Sending you strength and empathy.

daagahminayin

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:18 pm

I feel you. I also get scared and here’s what I tell myself:

Breathe, it’s ok.

Take each moment as it comes.

You only have to get through each moment. Part of the distress you’re feeling is the fear about how you will get through future moments. You’re scared it will be unbearable. But really you are only ever in the current moment, and the fact that you are in it means you are bearing it, even if it’s very hard.

Remember, Hashem is with you in each moment. You will get through it.

Take care xxxx

amother

Clematis

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:21 pm

Do the time release caffeine pills, or, if you can't get any, have a cup of coffee right before the fast and one right after. Feel good! Daven for an easy fast and an easy(er) day!

imasinger

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:24 pm

I loved the reminder I heard on Halacha Headlines -- Hashem means for you to be right where you are, and loves you.

You'll do the best that you can, and that's all anyone can ask.

Sending chizuk and hugs!

amother

Electricblue

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:39 pm

I third the fast aid pills. Literal game changer. I find I'm more thirsty or more hungry because I don't have a headache so I can focus more on what I'm actually feeling but it's much easier to.fast!

allthingsblue

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:40 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

Love this post… perfect for your username Smile

amother

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 2:58 pm

Thank you all for the chizuk. I could really use all I can get right now.

Re the caffeine pills, I wanted to take them but I forgot to try them out last week but I'm scared to do it for the first time on yk because I have been allergic to fillers in pills in the past.

amother

Clematis

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 3:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can do the cup of coffee right before and right after the fast. I think the caffeine headache only kicks in after 24 hours without.

amother

Hyssop

Sun, Sep 24 2023, 3:33 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

You can do the cup of coffee right before and right after the fast. I think the caffeine headache only kicks in after 24 hours without.

But then she may be up all night.

Busybee5

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 4:21 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

I third the fast aid pills. Literal game changer. I find I'm more thirsty or more hungry because I don't have a headache so I can focus more on what I'm actually feeling but it's much easier to.fast!

I found the caffeine pills made me really nauseas Sad

I think it was from them, who knows. I'd be scared to try it out again. I didn't get any headaches this yom kippur though, bH!

amother

Cornsilk

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 4:52 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

I found the caffeine pills made me really nauseas Sad

I think it was from them, who knows. I'd be scared to try it out again. I didn't get any headaches this yom kippur though, bH!

I felt good on them.

I stayed in bed for a while only cos I was too scared to come out.

Once I came down felt very good and no headaches at all bh.

I didnt even eat loads afterwards and bh felt no weakness like I usually do.

My husband took the paracetamol ones and also felt better then usual.

amother

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:53 pm

Hi I came back to let you all know that I survived!
It was hard.
Some parts of the day were very hard. Kids were out of control at some points.
Baby was awake a lot during the night.
I davened a bit.
But I'm here and I'm ok.
I appreciate all the support.

daagahminayin

Mon, Sep 25 2023, 9:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for letting us know. I was thinking of you. So glad you survived!!!!!