Curious what You’d do

amother

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:49 am

Sis n law getting married in 2 wks imyh
Overseas
Df time zone
I’m a kimpeturin,baby being 9 wks
Just devided kids among family when had baby
No where to leave them when flying now (other than babysitter they don’t know)
Would you fly w all kids?
Oldest is 14 yr old boy
Confuse younger ones again & leave them behind?
Or not fly?
I’m close to the kallah ...
Couple will live in isreal so no idea when will c them next time .
B don’t want nervous break down;)

boysrus

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:51 am

amother OP wrote:

In your current circumstances, I wouldnt go. Your children come first. Does baby even have a passport?

amother

Pearl

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 1:04 am

What do your in-laws say you should do?

Personally, I’d send your husband on his own for the wedding and stay behind with the kids. It sounds a bit much to fly with a few kids to an out of town wedding especially after recently giving birth. I’m sure your SIL would understand

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 1:10 am

I would go with the whole family flying together if possible...

If you cant take the kids with you, and flying in, flying out isnt an option, then Id have a gentle talk with the Kallah and explain whats going on..

amother

Crimson

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 3:02 am

Jmho:
If going with everyone is feasible, you can afford it, husband is helpful during travel then do it. It will be so nice for the kids to be at the aunt's wedding.

If you can't do that (not affordable and/or husband is not a star at traveling with kids) then stay home. It's not fair to leave your kids again so soon when you just did it for the birth. Sad to miss the wedding but stuff happens.

essie14

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 3:51 am

By 9 weeks I was completely up and about and traveled with baby at 11 weeks no problem. I would definitely go. If it's feasible to take the whole family, for sure.

amother

Brickred

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 6:39 am

I traveled to an out of town driving wedding with a 3 month old and it was difficult. I can't imagine flying at that point. I also missed about half the wedding dealing with feeding baby and out of routine toddlers who were tamtruming.

I would hire a babysitter to help me with the kids at home and send husband to the wedding, maybe with 1 kid.

amother

Snowflake

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 6:52 am

I would go..I traveled with my last one three times before she was three months (not long flights. Longest was six hours) and it was no big deal. She basically slept. It was much easier than an older baby....It would be great for kids to be at their aunt's wedding. If it was your sibling would you make an effort to go?

amother

Iris

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 8:48 am

I had a 6 week old when one of my siblings got married. There wasn't much travel time as it wasn't so far, but I found the whole thing really difficult. I didn't feel I really enjoyed it or sat down much as I was constantly going out to feed the baby who wasn't settling. I had to undress each feed as I had a gown. I don't think I was sorry I went, but I don't think I would do it in your scenario. I would probably send dh, with maybe one of the kids and take it easy at home.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 8:52 am

I’d go with baby but leave the other kids home.

A baby is manageable when traveling plus a simcha. But baby plus other kids is a nervous break down in the making

amother

Apple

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 9:04 am

OP, if you wouldn't miss your siblings wedding, you don't miss a sibling in laws wedding. It's simple.
The only place I've seem women questioning going to their own sibling in laws wedding, is here on imamother. I don't know anyone IRL that would even think of missing the wedding. It's no different than a siblings wedding.
I traveled to my BIL wedding at 4 weeks post partum. It didn't even cross my mind to skip the wedding.

Persevere

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 9:08 am

It really depends on the family dynamics. If it's a large family and they'll understand, and it's really too much for you to go, then stay home. But if it's a small family and it will be deeply meaningful for them if you are there, and it's feasible for you, then go.

amother

Broom

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 9:10 am

amother Apple wrote:

I actually agree with this so true!

amother

Almond

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 11:29 am

I flew overseas with a five week old...
If it’s not a financial decision I don’t see what the issue is. Take the whole family. Yes you might miss parts of the wedding to take care of the baby but that’s life as a mother.

groovy1224

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 11:34 am

amother Apple wrote:

This isn't really a fair comparison..there are more people in the world than the people in your immediate circle. Of course you'll see things online you haven't seen in real life.

That being said, I think in general people should make every effort to attend family simchas. But OP has not really said whether there are financial or other considerations to take into account, so it's hard to say. But if the concern is just flying with kids, I would say it's usually worth it.