Curious what You’d do

amother

Pearl

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 11:39 am

amother Apple wrote:

OP, if you wouldn't miss your siblings wedding, you don't miss a sibling in laws wedding. It's simple.
The only place I've seem women questioning going to their own sibling in laws wedding, is here on imamother. I don't know anyone IRL that would even think of missing the wedding. It's no different than a siblings wedding.
I traveled to my BIL wedding at 4 weeks post partum. It didn't even cross my mind to skip the wedding.

It is different though. If they were as close as sisters then OP would have told her SIL sooner that she was pregnant and her pregnancy and postpartum recovery would have been taken into consideration when booking a date
By my wedding, we were limited to 2 nights to take in postpartum recovery from my husband’s SIL and that my brothers wife would need to be able to fly In because of her pregnancy.

If they’re not close enough that that was taken into account then I don’t think it’s such a big deal that OP stays home

amother

Snowflake

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 11:48 am

amother Pearl wrote:

Not really. Nobody waits till a baby is 11 weeks not to make a wedding. I understand not making it the week someone is due or week after or before but not 2 months months after.

In my opinion just like you go to siblings wedding you go to sister in law wedding....

amother

Pearl

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:01 pm

amother Snowflake wrote:

I guess it depends on your family. By us we took into consideration 2.5 months postpartum

amother

Apple

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:02 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

I disagree. No couple would agree to wait an additional 3 months to get married because a sibling had a baby. It doesn't make sense. I think that it's unacceptable to miss a siblings wedding because you're 11 weeks post partum. It doesn't make sense. A sibling in law is the same status as a sibling.

amother

Apple

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:04 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

I guess it depends on your family. By us we took into consideration 2.5 months postpartum

You must be chassidish & the chasson/kallah have no say in the wedding date.
But 2.5 months is ridiculous, even by chassidish standards. Most don't take in to consideration more than 2 weeks postpartum. It's just not realistic. And in big families, there's always someone pregnant. It's impossible to take everyone in to consideration.
11 weeks post partum is back to normal and time to go to a wedding.

scruffy

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:05 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

Sometimes with large families there is no way to take pregnancies/ postpartum into account since there will always be at least one person in that window.

I know people who went to siblings weddings 2 weeks postpartum and spent most of the wedding nursing their baby.

amother

Apple

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:06 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

This isn't really a fair comparison..there are more people in the world than the people in your immediate circle. Of course you'll see things online you haven't seen in real life.

That being said, I think in general people should make every effort to attend family simchas. But OP has not really said whether there are financial or other considerations to take into account, so it's hard to say. But if the concern is just flying with kids, I would say it's usually worth it.

It's a very fair comparison. If you wouldn't think about missing a siblings wedding, you don't miss a sibling in laws wedding. It's the same thing.

amother

Pearl

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:11 pm

amother Apple wrote:

😅 I am Chassidish. I did have some say in the wedding date. To be clear, we didn’t tack on an additional 2.5 months. Her due date was well into the time frame of our engagement. We just added an additional two weeks to our engagement so she’d have more time to recuperate. It ended up being about 2.5 months after she gave birth.

amother

Broom

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 12:24 pm

I am chassidish and my mother in law made Chassuna when my baby was 3 weeks old and I attended fully. Most can’t push off weddings for more because someone is having a baby.

amother

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 12:33 am

Thank you ALL for opinion !
For those stated to stay home-I really feel validated!so atleast I know I’m not crazy
Yes I missed a wedding last wk my side..
Others -I’m glad hear honest opinions!
Gut vuch

amother

Apple

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 12:38 am

amother OP wrote:

You missed your siblings wedding? Or a more distant relatives wedding?