Should I applaud ds's behavior to his principal or not?

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 4:26 pm

I am the OP of this thread: https://www.imamother.com/foru.....34972 about my 2nd grader getting suspended once a week. BH he hasn't been suspended again since my meeting with the principals.

But there another issue with the new principal. The school has always had leagues after lunch, from around October through June. They were supposed to start leagues for the year over a month ago, but the new principal keeps saying that they're not starting yet, they'll start next week. Then they'll start the next week. Then the next week. And next week never comes.

The kids are very frustrated for a long time already, so today they made a silent protest. 2nd grade is not involved in leagues, but I have a son in an older grade who is.

They made signs saying things like "No leagues, no classes" and "Make [our school] great again" and "We want [the old principal] back." At least one sign said more chutzpadig things.

They stood silently outside the principal's office and held the signs up to the office window. The principal and his assistant, who is also new to the school this year, opened the door and tried yelling at everyone to get back to class. Nobody listened.

For the first time, they didn't threaten to suspend the whole school. LOL

How could they suspend everyone?

Ds says his rebbe and a school social worker HELPED THEM ORGANIZE IT. The other principal, the one who started the school many years ago, gave them permission to make this protest. Ds says she looked like she was upset at the new principal. I cannot understand why he refuses to allow the kids to play in their leagues. Boys need sports!

And yet, if I applaud ds, is that showing him that chutzpah is okay?

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 5:57 pm

I think a lot depends on the "type" of school it is. If one of the principals of a boys' school is a woman, I'd assume the school is more centrist and not RW. Also, schools that sponsor organized sports teams are also not usually RW. I think we would need more background on the school to really understand the inner workings and best give you advice. Because it will be different depending on school culture and hashkafa.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 6:25 pm

Off the bat, I deplore what the adults did. Rather than advocating for the children, they fomented rebellion.

You do want your dc to grow up to be a person who stands up against injustice, but he's still a child and even as an adult has to show the proper respect for authority. I would compliment your ds activist fervor first, as well as the fact that the protest was silent, and then explain what was wrong with what they did.

1. Chutzpah to a principal is never acceptable. You may not like the officer but you must respect the office.
2. Leagues are a privilege, not a right that they can demand.
3. "We want [old principal] back" is personally insulting to the new principal. Keep personalities out of it.
4. "We want [old principal] back" doesn't address the issue. "We want leagues" is a mature statement, "we need leagues because we need exercise" is a mature statement backed by a supporting argument.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 6:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes!
He stuck up for his rights and wasn't a goody twoshoes Laugh

amother

Feverfew

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 6:35 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

So well said

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 6:56 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

It's a community school with a mix of yeshivish and modern kids and everything in between. They have a girls school and boys school in separate buildings on the same campus. The female principal is now supposed to be mainly for the girls, but it's still her school. I think she still has veto power there.

SunnyDayz

Thu, Nov 16 2023, 8:18 pm

So long as your son and his sign were respectful, and he was going with the backing of authority figures, I'd say you can either support or stay neutral, whatever you're really feeling.
It isn't right of the principal to be withholding such a great outlet for the boys, especially if they keep promising to start and not following through. What kind of chinuch is that, in and of itself? We're instructed to say little, and do a lot, and this is the opposite.