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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:37 am
my 13 yr daughter has a group of friends that are all really close. the girls are starting to go down a path that does not align with our values, and make my dd uncomfortable with the things they talk about, boys movies, etc.
she is trying to stick with other girls and leave the group, but its so hard for her, and awkward.
any advice please?
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amother
Whitewash
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:40 am
2 options.
1. Rip off the bandaid- she can tell them she feels uncomfortable with the topics being discussed and she’ll skip the next hangout
2. She can just slowly distance herself without having to explain
I think the best option for everyone is let her tell them why she’s pulling away. They may not understand why she’s uncomfortable with the things they discuss, but at least they’ll know the reason she no longer spends time with them
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lora
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:43 am
friendships fall apart, especially at that age, its not unusual.
Kudos to you for raising your daughter with strong values and its amazing she feels comfortable telling you this.
The easy way out would probably be for her to just spend less time with them, make excuses, find new friends.
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amother
DarkOrange
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Tue, Jan 16 2024, 11:44 am
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Is she in a school that aligns with your hashkafik values? It's very hard for a kid to be the odd one out.
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amother
Linen
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Fri, Jan 19 2024, 10:34 am
make sure you're not forcing this upon her and truly coming from her cuz you might end up mistakenly creating a setting where she just hides the relationship from you.
If it's truly coming from her help encourage me circle of friends through invites trips hosting and fun . Tread carefully because if she ends up creating drama by leaving the group it will hurt her terribly...
It's the age where friendships do shift so allow life to unfold and try to remain on the sidelines encourage support and no holier than thou attitude.
One more point food for thought if she is your oldest dd. She might just be growing up and gaining independence and that is just a reality shift for moms as teens start evolving...the culture shock of the generation gap combined with the reality of losing your innocent lil girl to the big glamorous world...
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